February 2014

Hey March,







Nice to meet you. I am actually SUPER excited that you are finally here because February was an asshole and left me exhausted. I'm thrilled to start a new month and see new things transpire.

Right now I am sitting with my BFF Allie and watching the Walking Dead. I thought that since I'd finished all my homework I should get onto doing a blog. There's a HUGE stream of blogs that are inching their way to being done that will be pretty heavy-duty, so be prepared for that. I am intent to close a pretty hefty chapter of my life until someone else decides they want to pull their head out of their ass and reopen it, so that I can finally find peace and know that I did the right thing.






Anyways, here's the new monthly. It's not great, but it's also certainly not horrible.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• That all the court shit is finally over... Last week, Muffin finally decided to just agree to the last couple bits of crazy that were looming over this court case and it's all filed and done. It's been such a goddamned long year, guys. A year from hell. The emotional bullshit that we have endured at the hands of someone who just literally cares about nobody but themselves has been unacceptable, but has left us stronger and better people for it. I'm happy to have been able to be a part of the experience, but I am even more pleased that it is finally over for now and we can start focusing our energies on other parts of our lives. 
• Sunny days... FINALLY, Washington has decided to shed a little light on our lives and it's been fabulous. We've certainly not had much warmth, but the sun is out, which makes the days just slightly more manageable.
• Tomato juice... I literally cannot drink enough of it. It seems as though I'd forgotten how smitten I was with the stuff until two weeks ago when, desperate for something to drink post-tooth extraction, I stumbled across a bottle of tomato juice that made its way into my belly and my heart. Now I can't stop drinking it. I easily finish a bottle a day, and I'm not even a little bit upset about it.
• Hunger Games.... That's really the long and short of this one. There's no explanation necessary. I'm on the third book and I am still hooked.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• BFF lives closer... Yeah, my BFF FINALLY moved much nearer and I am pleased mostly because that means more playdates which include, but are not limited to glittering things, drinking cocktails and eating snacks whilst watching films that make us cry. I've missed having her nearby so much and having her near enough for us to have TWO playdates in ONE week is just incredible.
• Preparing for my new classes... So I'll be starting my new degree at the end of this month and I am SO excited! I'll be working and going to school full time and really pulling my life together. I'm beginning the Esthetics programme at my school so that I will have more opportunities when I finish school and go out and find a more complete job. The degree I am taking is technically to become a Medical Esthetician, which means I would be able to work in hospitals or dermatology clinics to help people with skin conditions and burns. It's a really exciting field that I can't wait to become a part of.  
• Writing a new blog entry... It's been about three months in the making. I've been working on it tirelessly, making sure I've worded every single bit of it properly and conveyed my message perfectly. It is a blog that I've agonized over the need to write for a long time now that I feel is entirely necessary. It'll be coming in parts over the next week or two, so keep your eyes peeled. It's going to be pretty raw and very private, so if you are of a weak constitution, steer clear. 

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "Your life is getting better and better every day and you have had a major part in that happening. You are strong and creating something safe and great for the lives of you and Muffin, so just know that."
• "FINISH ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE STARTED! ALL THAT YARN WON'T CROCHET ITSELF!"

 last but not least... here's a quote. And it's the truth. All darkness comes to and end and things will become brighter. Just persist.

January 2014...

Oh January. You really put so much spirit in my heart for what this new year has to offer my family and me.

You've helped me realize that good things CAN come out of heartache and stress, just so long as you remain honest and steadfast in doing what is right.

You gave me new friends and things to look forward to.

Most importantly, you gave me inspiration. I opened up this new year with the decided intention to make this year better. To make it fun, honest and worth every single moment. I began this year with a crochet hook in hand and a list of patterns the length of my arm that I plan to tackle and I really do plan to see results.



Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• My weightloss... still trucking along and working to make myself a better person. It's been a little slower the last couple of weeks because I've been busy with school and then sick and then... well, now I'm just making excuses. Regardless, I've gotten back on track and I'm feeling better for it.
• Our heater... Yeah, it's gotten alarmingly cold here in WA and as a result, I've totally had to break my ex-husband's training and turn the heating on. I HATE having the heat on above sixty, but the last week I've HAD to have it on because I've been wildly ill and perhaps close to dying of hypothermia. I was in no less than five shirts and under three gigantic blankets and was STILL freezing. So the heat was on and I was as content as possible.
• Ice water... As a result of my illness, I've been put on a series of very serious antibiotics that have left me completely dehydrated. My lips actually feel like they are just going to turn into pieces of jerky at any moment. I've been living on ice water filled with slices of lemons and it's been glorious! I can't seem to get enough.
• Drawing... Oh yeah. I'm still doing a pretty offensive amount of drawing. I'm pretty pleased with myself and have actually been asked to do a piece of art for a friend of mine over in Japan purely because she'd love to hang something of mine in her office. That's such a nice feeling and as a result, I've created a pretty miraculous piece of work. Drawing's been pretty therapeutic for me these last several weeks. 

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• American Horror Story... Like, it's consuming my life because I've got nothing else to watch. It's not great, but it's also not horrible. There's a lot of cameos and a lot of interesting twists, but it's pretty stressful to watch because sometimes there are so many confusing intertwining of stories that I've got to stop it and figure it out before moving on. It's good, so give it a try if you've got nothing better to do.
• Hunger Games... In the wee hours of the night prior to falling asleep, I lay in bed and read. My current books are the Hunger Games books. They're pretty great and I'm enjoying them a great amount. I can't WAIT to get to the third one so I can FINALLY find out what the hell happens in the end!
• Planning... We'll be moving eventually. Maybe sooner than later, we have no idea. And when we do, I want to be super prepared and know that the new place will be a new start for a life that is good for Muffin and me. An organized, comfortable and not-surrounded-by-neighbours life that will make the both of us very happy. So Pinterest has been my BFF the last couple weeks, just so I can start planning how to pack things when we DO get the word that we will be moving. It's exciting and I can't wait to start a new part of our lives.

Things I want to tell February Danie:

• "Good LORD, take some time for yourself! Stop concerning yourself with other people and their needs. You have your own!"
• "How about a malibu and coke, just to relax a bit?"

 last but not least... here's a quote. a very important quote that I need to keep in my mind.

Remember, Remember, the Month of November...

Well HELLO November! We meet again!

It's been a very interesting few months. Months that have left me with little or no time to post blogs, craft or even breathe. I am exhausted, but also feeling quite encouraged and hopeful for the future.

The biggest thing I really feel like I need to do to make sure I'm living fully is to write. I don't write nearly as much as I should and I worry that a lot of my stress is based solely on the fact that I am just not venting at all, anywhere. We try to keep away from talking about hideous topics as much as possible and a lot of it is getting quite on top of me.

Anyways, let's get this blog on. I am excited that November is here and that the end of this really quite horrific year is just that much closer. Let's do this, shall we?

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Building a better me... Our class took a vow to lose weight. To treat ourselves better, feel better and look better. We started two weeks ago (we've been doing T25... and can I address how much this made me want to die the first couple of days after I started? I actually thought I was going to die. Like, legitimately, I couldn't walk.) and I've since lost ten pounds, which brings my grand total since about June to a total of twenty-two pounds! I still obviously have a lot of work to do, but it's a road that I've finally started to make some headway down and it feels amazing. I've since finally been able to dig out some of the clothes that haven't fit me in a while and THAT has been one of the better things about this month.
• Eating better foods. I've fallen completely in love with smoothies at the moment. My fridge is full of spinach, fruit, greek yoghurt, fennel seeds and almond milk. I make myself at least one smoothie a day and have been really enjoying what a difference it has made in my day-to-day. I have more energy, feel less weighed-down and am overall happier. I've also cut cola almost completely out of my life and have stopped eating fast food, save for maybe once a week. It's nice. I'm finally doing what needs to be done to feel better about me and I couldn't be more pleased because this is all me now. It's MY self control, MY better choices and MY life that I'm improving.
• De-cluttering. It's no secret that I have a lot of stuff. I literally have so much stuff that I'm bordering on being submitted for an episode of Hoarders. Not like a gross episode though, as my house is only filled with STUFF. I like things. I like books, films, wool and other random shit, so I keep them. BUT! Seeing as we've recently moved into another apartment, I was very much forced into the realization that I have WAY too much stuff. For the last month I've been systematically going through all my books, all my films, clothes and other misc crap and selling/giving it away. It's been really nice to be able to literally take an entire huge plastic bin full of books off to Half Priced Books to get them out of my life. It's been a lot of work because I've had to ensure I have all the books in SOME form, so I had to go through all ELEVEN of my bookshelves, write out the names of every single book and then search to download them. The ones I found? I got rid of, the rest I'm having to add to my Amazon wishlist for future reference. I'm getting there, but it's a lot of work.
• Cardigans! This month marked my finally being able to pull out all of my favourite cardigans and I couldn't be happier if I wanted to be! I LOVE cardigan weather so much!!
• School. It's been a long road, but we're nearly done now and I'm happy to say that I'm rocking the hell out of all the hair that's been sitting in my chair. I'm becoming more confident, more capable and more encouraged for the future. I'm so close to being finished now and I just can't wait to get out there and start my career!
• IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! I turn twenty-nine this year and I plan to make this year more fabulous than the last. I want to be better to myself, to Muffin and to the people who maybe don't SEEM to deserve it, but really truly do.

 
Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Emo Music... Songs with gorgeous words about heartbreak and love and emotions. I pretty much constantly listen to music that makes me want to curl up and die. Lots of Magnetic Fields, Mumford and Sons, Belle and Sebastian, Broken Family Band, etc. I'm on the hunt for some new music, but it's a hard search... so I guess I shall keep looking. If you have any ideas, let me know!
• My Kindle... I've been reading a TON recently and it's nice to have like five hundred books all at my fingertips.
• Drawing. I've been really inspired to outlet a lot of stuff through the medium of pen and paint. I actually also got myself some colouring books that I've been working through, which has been inspiring me. It's been nice.
• Trying to pick the PERFECT tattoo! Muffin and I haven't been able to get any tattoos for quite a long while and I've promised myself that once I finish school and get a good grade on my State Boards I will get myself a fabulous new inky baby to commemorate it. I can't WAIT!

 
Things I want to tell December Danie:

• "Please know that all this pain and emotional agony will be worth it. Good things are due to come, you just need to keep your chin up and know that you're doing what's right."
• "STOP BUYING SO MANY SWEATERS! YOU HAVE ENOUGH!"
• "You need to be more gentle with Muffin. He's really doing his best right now and that's good enough. You both have so much on your plates and it's okay to get frustrated sometimes, but it's not okay to be blatantly hateful or disrespectful... especially to one another. You're each other's strongest allies right now and you need to stick together."
• "Hey, guess what! You're almost done with school, what have you done to prepare yourself? Have you vetted salons? Have you registered for your final classes? Have you started writing cry-worthy thank you letters to your teachers? Are you ready? Because you're worth it and you're going to rock the fuck out of the world of hair, I promise!"
• "Patience, Danie. Please practice patience. This will be a difficult month. You can handle it."
• "Only one more month until you can FINALLY get another tattoo!! WOOHOO!!"

 last but not least... here's a quote.