February 2015...

So we're balls-deep into 2015 and it's been a pretty miraculous beginning to the year. We are healthy, happy, and attempting to make our lives better. It's been busy because it's my final practical quarter in school and I've been purging the heck out of our house, but it's been very cleansing and satisfying.


Things are coming together for us and finally reaching a level of homeostasis that I'm very happy with. I'm elated every day for the blessings that I have been given and couldn't hope to be more pleased for the smiles that I've got smeared across my face every day. 

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Cosmetic Chemistry... It's been a tremendously fascinating topic that we've been going through at school for the last couple of weeks. There are so many myths about products ingredients, and things I am glad I've learned. I have discovered how to create esters, the history of many huge ingredients used in products, and what specific things can be used for particular skin issues. I feel like the entire world is at my fingertips right now, and it's very exciting!
• Red Velvet Oreos... Oh. Em. Gee. I got a free bag last week before they were released and they literally changed my life. Red velvet is one of my most favourite things in the entire world and these Oreos have just elevated everything to the next level of snacking.
• Epigenetics... We went to a little class on this topic a few weeks ago and I just had to learn more. I've been rampantly consuming books on epigenetics, biology, chemistry, genetics, and everything else I can. It's such an incredible topic and so mystifying that so many things happen at the teensy, itty-bitty cellular level.
• Muffin... My baby. The love of my life. I adore his big, beautiful face such a gigantic amount. He's so sweet and loving and really makes all my days so much more magical just by saying sweet little things or grabbing my hands. I am so happy that we are going into our fourth year of marriage and so grateful to have him in my life.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Reading everything I can on biology, genetics, chemistry, and cosmetics. 
• Serial killer documentaries... All of them. All the time. I've really hit the bug on criminals again. It's such an interesting topic.
• Conquering knitting... I'm making a blanket for Molly's birthday and committed myself to KNITTING it rather than crochet, and it's really forcing me to get those needles on lock-down. It's been slow-going, but I'm getting there.
• Fixing my heart... I deserve to be happy and not compromise myself in lieu of other people's feelings, so I've been making myself a priority and learning to respect my own needs along with other people's.
• Learning how to groom my puppy myself... We are poor, you guys. We don't have endless streams of cash for all the money in the world that groomers want to wash my dog, so I've taken it upon myself to learn how to groom that little bear by myself. I invested in a nail grinder and have been trolling Youtube like it's my job for how to trim black satan nails (Which are litterally like satan. They are horrific). It's been fun and really self-fulling to be able to become independent from Petsmart's hold on me.

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "It's 2015 and you will be finished with school soon! You're going to start working and making a really beautiful path for yourself wherever you may go. Enjoy the ride!"
•  "Maybe all that kindness will pay off. Maybe."

last but not least... here's a quote. So I have gall stones, and my eating has had to fall under a lot of scrutiny and control, which has been agonizing. So when THIS popped up on my Pinterest feed it struck me pretty hard.

Tuesday, July 8th

It feels like it is literally the hottest day in the world. I want to die right now.

The child and I are sitting around, trying not to melt away by filling the living room with fans and reducing the amount of clothes we are wearing considerably. We're watching a film and waiting for the sun to go down so that we can go outside and play.

I have about four blogs to post tonight, two or three on here and one on my other blog, so I'll get on with this Tuesday and move on to them...

TJ Miller
free cinema visits... I follow a lot of groups where I am lucky enough to get a whole heap of free stuff, including a phone last year, lots of toilet paper, and free cinema tickets. My most recent free fabulousness came in the form of two free pre-screening tickets to see the new film The Purge: Anarchy. I'll do a blog about it in a bit, but I wanted to make sure that I gave some love to how much I love new films and especially love to go and see them for free with my BFF on a Monday evening!
thrillers
water parks... NOT the prices, just the experience. I can't even begin to describe how much I hate the prices at places set out to entertain children and steal money from their unsuspecting parents. Again, I have begun a blog about my latest experience at a water park, so you'll have to wait for that. Just suffice it to say that I love them, but only the water part, not the fleecing.
waxing... I'm badass at it and you should totally be jealous that you're not here to get waxed by me right now.
crocheting
Wen Fa... Hot. Towels. On. My. Sternum and neck. DO IT.
ice packs... They make everything okay on these painfully hot nights.
cuddles
bedtime... particularly with Molly here. Every night at bedtime we get to lay her in bed, talk about life, her other home, her friends, her favourite parts of our day, and then we give cuddles and kisses and go to bed. It's really nice and I'll miss it when she leaves, but I'm really glad that her mum also gets to spend so much time with such a great little lady. Knowing that all her love and fun and cleverness is being spread around the country is heartwarming. Her mummy deserves every bit of love that she gets from her.
road trips
planning my Thirtieth... Yeah, that's right. In 128 days I will be thirty and I've been planning like a fiend. I want to do something special and important, even if it IS just for me and Hubby to experience (unless, of course, any of YOU want to meet us and celebrate as well!)
organizing my Pinterest
The VA... After many, MANY weeks of strife and concern, I was given something magical from my dad AND the VA. Because of my dad's service-related injuries, he's recently been awarded one hundred percent disability and because he's my daddy I get to have my education covered by his GI bill. I can't believe that finally, after all the crap that's been showered upon our household, we are being gifted something so special. I'm finally catching a break and I couldn't thank my father or the VA more.
my dad
Denise... she's an angel. One of my classmates and one of the people I'm closest with at the moment. I love her so much.
bonding with classmates... Some of them. do you guys remember when I was in Cosmo and I was dealing with bullshit high school drama? That shit is creeping up again with a few of my classmates and I'm furious about it. I just want to be in a class where I can learn and not have to deal with dramatic crap. Why is that SO HARD?! A few of my classmates, though? They're gems. They are kind, hilarious, and really great to just sit and talk to. We're still all learning about one another, but it's been fun!


Alright. I've got stuff to do... Namely a bath with a super sexy bath bomb just before working on another blog or two and organizing more of my pinterest.

Have a fabulous night and be well!

May 2014

YAY! A new month! I am so excited for summer than I can hardly stand it!

The cards of my life are falling into clear and beautiful places and I'm so pleased from day-to-day that I stop several times a day just to look up and thank whatever stars finally aligned to make things so great.

I'm going to compile a list of things that made the last month so prolific and great for me, so have a gander!


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Documentaries... Again, I have caught the documentary bug and I've been taking in TONS over the last couple of weeks. Each night when I come home I pop one on. In fact, during my homework today I've zipped through about seven documentaries. It's been really fun and informative. I just love watching them and being back in class has really boosted that excitement again. My teacher LOVES documentaries and has had us watching a lot through the quarter, so I've just been taking that home with me at night and consuming as many as possible.
• FANS... It's been hotter than blazes here the last week or two and I've fallen in love with my fan again. The poor little guy gets dragged from room to room in the house throughout the day to help keep us nice and cool.
• Skyping with Molly... Muffin called me in to Skype with her today and it was SO nice. She's just such a grown-up little lady right now and getting to catch up with her was really nice. Muffin has been loving finally being able to see his little girl quite a lot too. She loves Skyping with him and he couldn't be happier. Seeing that tiny little face light up as she shows us the landmarks of her daily life is so nice. We can't WAIT to see her!
• Numbers falling... I'm ever so slowly losing weight. That number on the scale is falling each day and I couldn't be more pleased!

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Diseases and Disorders of the skin... I'm pretty much completely obsessed with them. I go to bed each night thinking about them and reading about the ones that I can't piece together by myself. Learning about cell differentiation and the life processes of certain diseases and disorders has really inspired me to discover as much as I possibly can about them. I want to know why certain skin is spared, or why, in a pair of twins, one will have psoriasis and the other won't. It's all such an enigma and I'm in love with it. 
•  Summertime activity planning... So Molly broke her arm, so we've had to alter the activities that we had been planning just a little bit. She'll get her cast off around the middle of her visit, so we'll be able to do some of the fun activities that we had planned, but this has opened up our eyes to a whole heap of NEW activities that are friendly to a broken limb. We have a list as long as that little broken arm of things that we'll be able to do, so we're excited!
• Cosmetic Chemistry... Given my schooling and where I work, it is WILDLY important for me to learn as much as possible about ingredients used in cosmetic products, and that has filled my little life up at the moment. When I'm not looking up the histology of Acne Fulminans or Herpes Zoster, I am reading in-depth about the ingredients in every single thing I possibly can. I want to know why each and every ingredient is in everything I use now and why. I want to know what purpose things serve and why they are on my skin. I literally have my cosmetic dictionary with me everywhere I go and refer to in constantly. It's a lot of fun.

Things I want to tell June Danie:

• "Kindness. Remember kindness and patience."
• "TAKE MORE BATHS! YOU DESERVE TO!"

 last but not least... here's a quote. PHEW! This hit me hard when I read it the other day! It's such a true statement, particularly with all the times I find myself taken aback by people being turds. I've lived with this mantra for years now and this popped up just as I needed it. It hits home. 

February 2014

Hey March,







Nice to meet you. I am actually SUPER excited that you are finally here because February was an asshole and left me exhausted. I'm thrilled to start a new month and see new things transpire.

Right now I am sitting with my BFF Allie and watching the Walking Dead. I thought that since I'd finished all my homework I should get onto doing a blog. There's a HUGE stream of blogs that are inching their way to being done that will be pretty heavy-duty, so be prepared for that. I am intent to close a pretty hefty chapter of my life until someone else decides they want to pull their head out of their ass and reopen it, so that I can finally find peace and know that I did the right thing.






Anyways, here's the new monthly. It's not great, but it's also certainly not horrible.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• That all the court shit is finally over... Last week, Muffin finally decided to just agree to the last couple bits of crazy that were looming over this court case and it's all filed and done. It's been such a goddamned long year, guys. A year from hell. The emotional bullshit that we have endured at the hands of someone who just literally cares about nobody but themselves has been unacceptable, but has left us stronger and better people for it. I'm happy to have been able to be a part of the experience, but I am even more pleased that it is finally over for now and we can start focusing our energies on other parts of our lives. 
• Sunny days... FINALLY, Washington has decided to shed a little light on our lives and it's been fabulous. We've certainly not had much warmth, but the sun is out, which makes the days just slightly more manageable.
• Tomato juice... I literally cannot drink enough of it. It seems as though I'd forgotten how smitten I was with the stuff until two weeks ago when, desperate for something to drink post-tooth extraction, I stumbled across a bottle of tomato juice that made its way into my belly and my heart. Now I can't stop drinking it. I easily finish a bottle a day, and I'm not even a little bit upset about it.
• Hunger Games.... That's really the long and short of this one. There's no explanation necessary. I'm on the third book and I am still hooked.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• BFF lives closer... Yeah, my BFF FINALLY moved much nearer and I am pleased mostly because that means more playdates which include, but are not limited to glittering things, drinking cocktails and eating snacks whilst watching films that make us cry. I've missed having her nearby so much and having her near enough for us to have TWO playdates in ONE week is just incredible.
• Preparing for my new classes... So I'll be starting my new degree at the end of this month and I am SO excited! I'll be working and going to school full time and really pulling my life together. I'm beginning the Esthetics programme at my school so that I will have more opportunities when I finish school and go out and find a more complete job. The degree I am taking is technically to become a Medical Esthetician, which means I would be able to work in hospitals or dermatology clinics to help people with skin conditions and burns. It's a really exciting field that I can't wait to become a part of.  
• Writing a new blog entry... It's been about three months in the making. I've been working on it tirelessly, making sure I've worded every single bit of it properly and conveyed my message perfectly. It is a blog that I've agonized over the need to write for a long time now that I feel is entirely necessary. It'll be coming in parts over the next week or two, so keep your eyes peeled. It's going to be pretty raw and very private, so if you are of a weak constitution, steer clear. 

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "Your life is getting better and better every day and you have had a major part in that happening. You are strong and creating something safe and great for the lives of you and Muffin, so just know that."
• "FINISH ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE STARTED! ALL THAT YARN WON'T CROCHET ITSELF!"

 last but not least... here's a quote. And it's the truth. All darkness comes to and end and things will become brighter. Just persist.

tues... a little (lot) late

fine, i get it, i'm lame and have seriously been lacking in the blogging. let me tell you why...

Janey came to visit for five weeks and i was literally involved in SO MUCH excitement every single day that i couldn't bring myself to pick up my laptop, let alone concentrate on a blog. i've been keeping a list, though, which will certainly help me to get this list rolling.

also? i've got about a thousand blogs in the midst of being written, but i've been trying to concentrate on building a new blog on a different site, which has left me in the mindset of, "i can put it off another day, because i'll CERTAINLY have pulled my head out of my arse soon and have the new, shiny blog up to update with all my shiny, new posts."

that seems to have worked well. clearly.

anyways, here i am today, telling you that i AM building a new site, new format and new EVERYTHING, which should hopefully be done by the end of next week at the absolute latest... i hope. school really eats up my evenings, but i need to just sort my life out and stop creating excuses.

okay, so here's Tuesday for this week, and hopefully i'll figure out a better schedule soon that will allow me to post more regularly.

Will Arnett... hilarious!
Bronner Brothers hair show
Good Hair... i've recently come into a new love for documentaries on hair and it's no secret that i've ALWAYS had a love for black people, so this absolutely had to make it onto my list,
fake punching the dog... he's HILARIOUS and gets REALLY verbal when i fake punch him.
Didi Conn
shredded lettuce
other cars with wiener dog stickers... yeah, we have a fabulous wiener dog sticker on our car and when i see other people with wiener stickers on THEIR cars? i get WILDLY excited and squeal and imagine i could be friends with those people. especially if they are inappropriate (ie... OURS says, "yes, i AM playing with my wiener" and it is HILARIOUS)
the way grass looks when a helicopter is ascending
pizza rolls
ice water
pop-up books
dental training heads
exposed brick walls
pedicures... i've only now officially had two, but they are UH-MAZE-ING!
parafin wax
coupons
cutting hair... it terrified me to begin with. if you had told me seven weeks ago that i would be wielding a pair of shears and altering a person's hair and that it would look amazing in the end? i would have laughed in your face. literally. i would have laughed one of those hearty, guffawing laughs right in your face. now though? i've done a lot of cuts, one or two on an actual alive person, and they've been pretty fabulous.
Janeyvisit... oh it was epic. epic and wonderful. there will most likely be a blog, so i don't want to spoil anything.
Space Needle
mexican food
green nail varnish
Morgan... she's in my class and i adore her. she's tiny, southern and so, SO funny. we work together a lot and really gel well, spurning one another on to do better. it's really nice to have that in class. i don't know what i'd do without her.
LaDonna... literally the best sister in the land! i love her more than most people could ever imagine ever loving their sibling.
learning
collecting art
writing out Christmas cards
Allie's impending moving date
Panera Bread... primarily because she will be moving into OUR apartment complex. SHE WILL BE OUR NEIGHBOUR!! WE WILL DO SO MANY CRAFTS!!!
scarves
sewing
my new anatomy book... i found it for six dollars at a local bookstore and it's a huge book full of original colour prints of the anatomy and surgery plates from 1831 to 1854. it's beautiful and i could literally stare at it for forever. i adore it.
Half Price Books... the book store i purchased the above book at. it's a local store that blows my freaking mind every time i go into it. it's huge, cheap and full of really special, rare finds that make every trip worth the time and effort. also? their warehouse is in Seattle and they have a HUGE sale twice a year (one of which we went to in August) that gets rid of EVERYTHING for three dollars or less. MY MIND WAS BLOWN!
Pepsi
surprizingly amazing thrift stores... you know the ones you've driven past numerous times, dismissing them because they look like giant shitholes? yeah, we've got one of those by our house and we FINALLY went into it last week. EVERYTHING IN THE STORE WAS NINETY-NINE CENTS!! EVERYTHING! i nearly died.

right, time to figure out this other blog thing and snuggle the puppy. he's driving me CRAZY!

have a great day!

learning

so... after nearly ten years out of school i'm back at it and i'm at a loss. it seems as though i had literally forgotten what it was like to go to classes every day and learn in a regimented environment.

for the last several months i've literally been sitting around the house doing whatever i wanted whenever i wanted. i've been hanging out with the dog, baking, painting, crocheting and sleeping at all hours of the day and doing little else. living a little life that didn't entirely fulfill me, but always left me with enough sleep and homemade crap to make me feel slightly satisfied and maybe even a tiny bit agoraphobic. i had developed this sense of security that only the comfort of my image-covered walls and homemade blankets could offer. i had lost virtually any desire to leave the house, not because i was lazy, but because i had fallen into the fabulous state of depression that i have told all of you about ever-so-many times.

now, though... i have a schedule. a rather serious one at that. leaving me responsible for a lot of stuff, but namely, my own future... i've never had so much pressure. never so much riding on my daily activities. i've got a class in the morning and class every night... a class that lasts nearly seven hours.

my first day of school was ridiculous. generally getting used to having to listen to people again... i have teachers that expect very little less from me now, as an adult, than they did twenty years ago, when i was seven (TWENTY YEARS AGO?!?! OH HEY! I'M FUCKING OLD!). i proudly pranced into class two weeks ago expecting the scenario to be more adult, but it literally almost feels as though my fourth grade teacher, Mr Duran, expected more of me than my current teachers do.

i am alarmed (but also slightly NOT alarmed) by how little the educational staff trust us. the first four days at school were literally comprised of teachers telling everyone over and over again how and where to get really basic things like their books (THE SCHOOL BOOKSTORE), financial aid (THE FINANCIAL AID OFFICE) and student IDs (which every student was emailed about two weeks prior to school starting, stating hours of availability and rates (see: FREE) for ease of picking up our identification PRIOR to school starting. please know that i followed the rules and got all my shit prior to school starting, mostly because i didn't want to waste my fucking time!). i am not even kidding when i tell you that non-stop, every single day for the first week, my teachers were re-explaining how to do the most ridiculously menial things that really, everyone should have had the foresight to have taken care of PRIOR to school starting.

the teachers actually make it seem like we are retarded and can't be expected to do anything on our own. i HATE that. i hate that teachers are forced to sweep everyone together under the heading of "stupid, un-independent" because of the many people who can't seem to function without the help of their parents.

maybe right now would be the best time for me to say that i am at least five years older than literally everyone in my class, which doesn't SEEM like a lot until you realize that here in America, the vast amount of twenty-two year-olds could pretty much be classed as mentally handicapped. they act like toddlers that need to be prompted to do everything and can't so much as go to the toilet or eat something without having to gain approval from at least ONE person either via mobile or in person.

most of the people in my class are made exclusively of a special brand of horrible and they make me want to die. not a day passes that i am not floored by some stupid comment, action or piece of insight that is inflicted upon me by one of my fellow classmates.

every single class is pretty much just a constant pissing contest, which is fun (and by "fun," i mean the worst thing in the world). literally ANY time a new topic comes up (a disease, hair condition, skin disorder, etc), someone will ALWAYS chime in with some, "OMG THIS STORY IS SO CRAZY, LISTEN TO ME," bunch of word vomit, only to be followed by someone ELSE with another story, presumably offered to try and one-up the previous storyteller and also because they love hearing their own voice.

lessons take forever because we have to follow the same old stupid script of one-upping and stupid questions. i desperately want to just learn and not have to fuck around with a bunch of idiots who keep asking questions that either have already been answered or are set to be answered in the next several weeks according to the established rubric (seriously, my BIGGEST pet peeve right now is the fact that we are forced to waste SO MUCH time talking about future lessons RIGHT NOW because people can't wait until the scheduled lessons to learn about shit we're not even equipped to deal with right now).

i've made a couple of friends in class... literally, two. and they are fabulous.

the other ten people in class make me want to die, each in their own special way. i am sure i'll end up going into all the details about how and why my classmates make me want to die, so i'll leave it for now. 


the very worst part?! our house. i feel like i am going insane because i rarely see things getting done when i am out of the house (except, of course Muffin advancing further on one of his stupid video games or learning a new song on his guitar. thank GOD these things get done! what would we do otherwise?!). virtually no tidying gets done whilst i am out of the house, the list of things that need doing around the house just gets longer. the kitchen is a trainwreck and...

sigh. i'm overwhelmed. i don't even know how to advance this aspect of this blog. my anti-dsepressants ran out, Muffin's been acting like a giant asshole lately and i feel like i'm losing my fucking mind.

i shouldn't have to be SO pissed off every single day when i get out of school only to have my rage fueled when i get home and see nothing has gotten done except for Muffin's spot having been warmed on the sofa. i get so tired during the week with the late hours at school and wish, just sometimes, that i could use my weekends for ME. to recharge and enjoy my time, but nine times out of ten, i have to spend most of my weekend tidying up the shit that hasn't been done during the week.

bleh. school starts soon, so i need to pull my life together and get to the financial aid office to sort out getting my loan paid to me.

2: Where did you go to school?

i was a lucky girl growing up because all my schools were so near that i could just walk to them if the whim took me.

Kindergarten was spent at Fairview (which, apparantly, has since become a ghetto school at which lots of mexican children attack several other children for the LOLZ)

from there i went to Fairview's 'sister school' called Lebhart for 1st through to 3rd.

THEN back to Fairview up to 6th.

my junior high years were spent at Carey Junior High.

at around the age of 16 or in the 9th grade i was sent to attention homes where i attended the on-site school for a year.

once i was finally allowed to leave there, i attended East High School, where i totally had the most rockin' senior year in the entire world ever. hooray for fabulous teachers and even more fabulous friends!