November 2014...

Right now I am experiencing a mass amount of distress surrounding the fact that I am about to enter my final week in my twenties. This is it. This will be my last seven days living in a decade that granted me countless beautiful opportunities to learn, live, and love as irrationally or intently as I wanted. It has been bountiful and every bit as perfect as I could have hoped it would be.

Those two weeks post-Halloween have always been the most thrilling, as they begin the countdown to my birthday and the countdown to the promise of a new, exciting year of life. I adore November for all the crackling leaves, birthdays, Thanksgiving, fireplaces, and OMGALMOSTCHRISTMAS. It's always my favourite and never fails to deliver every ounce of excitement that I build up to it every single year.

So here's my November list. A list I am particularly elated about...


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• THE BOOK OF LIFE. Beautiful. Sickeningly beautiful. The soundtrack. The imagery. The everything. I'm in love with it. 
• Sugaring. It's like a thousand times better than waxing and I can't stop thinking about how much I love it. I plan to investigate ways to make my own sugar paste so I can test things out at home. 
• Cheesecake. At least two times a week I eat cheesecake. I'm a fat lard.
• Lush Christmas 2014. The products we have are incredible and you all need to get your paws on some of them. Our house is absolutely filled with spicy smells and glitter. It's a wonderful time of year that is made magnificently better by my place of work. 
• OK GO. Their new album is incredible. 

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Planning my birthday trip. We leave in eight days and I pretty much remind everyone constantly throughout the day. I have spent almost every free moment of the last month attempting to find new, magical, special things for us to do during our trip. I can't WAIT to get away and spend some time with the hubby and my in-laws. It's going to be really special and the perfect way to ring in my third decade on this earth. 
• Planning our winter trip. Molly asked us several times why we never went to see HER, so we immediately jumped on that as an opportunity to go on an adventure, see where the little lady lives, and attempt to bridge a gap with her mother, which was humbly accepted and then very hatefully rejected only recently. I'll admit that I was very excited for Molly to be able to see her two families come together for the sake of her. She has so much confusion and unsureness surrounding her two homes that this would have been something tremendously important for her. Something that could have worked as a turning point for her finally feeling safe and like it is okay to love both families without feeling like she is hurting someone else. It's a hard, fine line that she is walking that is being shaken. All we can do is make sure it's not us who are shaking it. We want her to feel safe and comfortable, and if her needs don't come ahead of everyone else's, there's not a lot we can do about that. All we CAN do is love that little face as much as possible and make sure she knows that she is safe and free to love anyone she wants when she's with us. Anyways... We're going to El Paso, so if anyone has any suggestions of fun things to do whilst we're there, please, help. We've got a few ideas, but with the freed up time, we wouldn't be upset about some more ideas.
• Setting up an amazing Christmas. We've never had a little one in our house for actual Christmas day like, ever, so we're trying to plan fun, rewarding Christmas experiences that I am desperately excited about. I've been planning several things since February... We want to uphold some fun traditions whilst holding up really important morals about giving and being thankful for what we have. I've been researching and planning doing some special things for our community since mid-summer that I'm really excited about. We're going to donate some time and love back to our community in a lot of ways. We'll also be generally doing a lot of great family things for the holidays, which will be super-fun. 
• Making my crafting/makeup room the most fabulous room in the world. And woooh doggie it's going to be great. There is a heap of glitter, fairy lights, tons of bookshelves, and lots of DIY. I'll unveil it soon and everyone will be jealous. I promise. 
• Painting. I'm currently obsessed with working on a painting of mine that I started months ago as a project for school. I've since morphed it into a gorgeous piece of art that I can't WAIT to hang on our walls. I'm in the middle of painstakingly creating a galaxy on canvas, which is difficult, but totally rewarding. 

Things I want to tell December Danie:

• "The year is finally almost over. This is your first official month as a thirty year-old, and the month of glitter, and gifts, and giving. Buckle up!"
• "Keep being kind. You know better than anyone that being hateful isn't helping anything. You're doing what's best by not stooping to ugly levels, just keep being kind. Even if it's difficult."

last but not least... here's a quote. Because all you can do is choose to forgive. Be kind and forgive. It doesn't help anybody to be a dickhead.

Just Under Three More Weeks...

I have just under three more weeks and then I'll be thirty.

Thirty.

I've been spending the last several weeks reflecting on the Danie from ten years ago. The Danie who was about to turn twenty was a goddamned mess. I found her blog and am ashamed that it was me who wrote it. I must say that it's a relief that I've always been so raw with my feelings when writing, but the content itself is so unnecessary and unimportant given the changes that I have undergone in the last ten years.

Turning twenty seems like it was tremendously devastating for me. I was going through what I had assumed would be the largest ordeals of my life, when in comparison, they were small fries. I was preparing to move to England and in turn, uproot my entire life for the sake of a love that I had little expectation would end only slightly less quickly than it had begun. I was drastically in love and content to shout it from the rooftops. I was the centre of my universe with little or no regard to anything or anyone that tried to distract from that. I alienated every single person from my life who didn't hold me on a pedestal, unwilling to acknowledge or feel any compassion for anybody but my own self. And for what? I lost several months of friendship with one of the most important and influential people in my life. I said embarrassingly hateful things to people who wanted nothing but to see me make decisions that were going to make my future as beautiful as I wanted it to be. People who were frustrated and exhausted with my petulant attitude and need for constant attention.

Actual constant attention. I literally posted like six entries a day, every single day. I was begging for people to idolize my desperation. There was no notice of other people, their needs, or really anything except how they could help me.

I was living in an ugly world. Nineteen for me was just an awful time and I wish I could go back and slap myself around a little bit and talk some sense to myself.  So many ties were severed in those several months before turning twenty and I hate that I let myself get that bad.

And since, I have gone to England, gotten married, lost my mother, gotten divorced, moved back to America, lost a couple of best friends, gotten married again, lost my grandmother, begun school, and endured the agonizing job that is step-parenting. And that's a nutshell, just a little snippet of the large, sweeping events that have headlined my life in the past ten years. It's been a highly eventful decade that has seen beauty and horrible. Seen great strides that have been painful, but have turned me into a person that I am proud of who has grown and learned hugely.

Now, today, I am just over three weeks to thirty and over three-quarters into my education, happily making my marriage into something I can be infinitely prouder of every day, and building friendships with people who are special and just as willing to let me uplift their lives as they do mine. It's a much more fulfilling and satisfying leap into a new decade.  I have achieved many things and come through a gigantic amount of experiences and I couldn't be happier with where my life is right now.

So, as I go into my next ten years. My thirties. I'm not as scared as I was prior to my twenties. I am eagerly awaiting what my next adventure will look like. How many more beautiful people I will meet, and what new experiences I will have. I can't wait to find out what I will learn and how I will grow. It's not as scary of a time for me and I welcome it with open arms.

Tuesday, October 7th

Over a month.

It's been over a month since I've blogged. But don't think that that's because I hate any of you or because I died. It's because I've been busy as holy god in school and then I was organizing the house and then I was sick as a fucking dog. I've only just become able-bodied enough to drag myself off of my sofa, so here I am, after a long day at school and grocery shopping, posting a blog about the things that have been good in the past month.

So here goes!

Hubby got me pumpkin pie... I've been SO sick. I actually thought I was dying for a day. I couldn't eat, had a horrible fever, and couldn't consume anything without wanting to vomit. But the instant I COULD eat again? That gorgeous husband of mine remembered that I'd been complaining about wanting pumpkin pie for weeks. Being the smarty-farty that he is, he went to the supermarket under the guise of getting me anti-nausea pills and a thermometer, also got me an entire pumpkin pie and THEN helped me hand-whip some cream to put on the pie. He's an angel and loves me so much. Almost as much as I love him.
American Horror Story... During my bout of illness I spent a lot of time lying on the sofa and in that time I decided to catch up on my favourite season of American Horror Story in preparation for the upcoming one. So I watched all of Asylum in the last four days and don't feel even an ounce of guilt. Roll on tomorrow for the new season to start!
makeup pallets... I'm obsessed with makeup right now and I've got a fairly substantial collection that I've accrued over the years. I'm a proud girl.
wiener dog races
tuna salad
The Space Needle... So. Last year was Hubby's thirtieth birthday and we couldn't afford to do a single thing for it, so I vowed to make sure that this year was special for him. I saved my ass off and planned like a maniac to ensure that he felt like the most important person in the world. I booked us a Groupon of sorts to eat at the top of the Space Needle, above all the buildings in Seattle. We dined over candlelight and watched the sun go down over the water as we listened to the bustle of all the other diners who were almost certainly not having as glorious as time as us. It was a really special night for him and I am happy that I spent so much time planning and saving for.
organizing our home... trying bit-by-bit to get everything sorted and where I want it to be. Things are coming together slowly, but it's been a challenge with school and work and sickies. It's getting there.
my job... I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love feeling like I contribute substantially to the betterment of our household (which is a HUGE thing for me! My amazing husband has been supporting the two of us almost on his own. But now that I am working TWO jobs, it's been really great for me to feel like things are a lot more equal and fair for him. Plus, I get my own money to spend on things that I love without having to ask for permission, which is really nice)
doing makeup... I'm really good at it and it's super-satisfying, so I've taken a pretty massive amount of time to learn as much as I can about it.
Adam Carrolla... He's hilarious. Go check out his podcast.
VetTix.com
OMGBIRTHDAY... It's in a month guys and I've been carefully crafting and saving for ANOTHER special event. I wanted for my thirtieth birthday to be a fabulously spectacular celebration that I've worked hard to have, so I've created that for myself. I'm very excited!
Modern Family
puppy snuggles
soda water
nice doctors
NEW LUSH STUFF
Ikea
Hubby's new job... It makes me so happy to see him so happy.

Alright, time to go take a bath and chill in bed. Have a fabulous week guys!

 

Tuesday, Sept 2nd

Finally taking a break to blog. I've been pretty heavily consumed by The Sims 4 for the last day, so this is taking a lot out of me. You all need to know that.

I'm sitting and relaxing with my gorgeous hubby in my gorgeous house watching some of my favourite shows. It's been a great week and I'm finally enjoying some time away from school and lavishing in every moment of it. I'll be tidying the house, re-organizing my life, and doing LOADS of crafting (most of the people I love will be getting beautiful handmade items from our home for the holidays this year. And, AND!! I'LL BE MAKING WREATHES BECAUSE I FINALLY HAVE A DOOR TO PUT THEM ON!)

Anyways, I'll get on with my list, as I have a lot more Sims to play and also Ink Master is on.


When dramatic interest is drawn by children's songs featuring gentle approaches to death... I was watching Desperate Housewives the other day and Susan was in a car with David Dash (for those of you not familiar, he was driving her to the death he felt she deserved for many reason) and she began singing the old woman and the fly song to calm her son... The lyrics "perhaps she'll die" hit right at the moment of impact and it was VERY exciting. Also, for something a little more modern, in World War Z, when the family is in the middle of the city and they watch a man get bit, die, and then come back to life, the Sesame Street bit (counting trains) counts the amount of time it takes for the zombie to re-animate. It's incredible and gives a creepy, fun vibe to scary scenes.
Chemical peels... I am literally completely obsessed with these right now. I've begun a series of them and my skin has never looked better. I want to get them constantly right now. I'm so fascinated by the reactions the different peels have on the skin and love learning about combinations and effects long term.
croissant sandwiches
passion tea from Starbucks
mustard
waxing... and I'm pretty badass at it. Deal with it.
Derek... This show is such a gorgeously painful piece of art. Muffin and I have been watching it for the last week or so and every single episode has made us weep. It's a beautiful, sad, hilarious, and wonderful show. It makes me miss England so much and makes my heart swell for reasons that a lot of other shows don't. They approach ugly topics that a lot of other shows refuse to and I love that.
Guardians of the Galaxy... WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!
reading
true crime books
Esthetic Sciences
taco burgers
korean bbq jerky
F.R.I.E.N.D.S... all the episodes. All the time.
Ikea
Maleficent
organizing my life
when i cut something with a knife that cut garlic previously...There is a residual flavour that I just adore. Last night I had some ice water with lemon that was clearly cut with a knife that had recently also cut some garlic. It was my favourite super-lemon water, but with the tiniest hint of garlic and I couldn't get enough of it.
Funny one-liners from news anchors... today, for instance, an anchor was covering schoolkids and their return to their prospective institutions. He was talking about the ramping-up of police around schools because people like to drive like maniacs apparently, when school begins. he finished the feed by saying "While the kids are learning their abc's, driver's better mind their p's and q's."
Sims 4
Sephora... Good LORD I am obsessed with this place! I get a sweet discount right now and I'm taking full advantage of it. My makeup has been ramped up and I'm so pleased.
My makeup skills... On that note, people should know that I am freaking awesome at applying makeup. Several of the people in my class asked me constantly to apply their makeup and my confidence is riding high. Maybe I'll upload some photos.

Alright. I'm done for the evening. Time to snuggle my puppy and hubby. Have a wonderful night all, I know I will.

Great Wolf Lodge...

SO. It's been a painfully hot summer here in the Pacific Northwest and we were gifted a really brief reprieve from the heat by my oh-so-beautiful mother-in-law, who booked us a room at a resort we've been desperate to stay at pretty much since the day I arrive back in the States.

Every drive by its outdoor water slides would send me into a fit of jealousy that I could barely contain as I murmured under my breath about how poor we were and how much I hated EVERY person in that water park because I couldn't be there.

Great Wolf Lodge is marketed as a gigantic water park that's inside (which is wildly necessary because Washington makes me want to die with all it's OMGITNEEDSTORAINEVERYDAY bullshit) a humidity-controlled resort. What it REALLY is, is a money sink. The rooms themselves are outrageously with absolutely nothing included. No meals, no transportation, no nothing. You get to go play in their actually pretty small water park and then sleep in their rooms, which are one of the only things I appreciated about the trip.

Upon arrival, Muffin was forced to wait in line to check in for nearly an hour, as there were only two staff working the front desk at peak check-in time. Once he finally made it up to the counter, after getting the key and purchasing a "Paw Pass" (which is a glorified sight-seeing pass for a facility that isn't big enough to need to see the sights. The pass itself gets you a wolf-themed Build-a-Bear, a small cup of Mike and Ike's, a small sundae, a t-shirt, and a glitter tattoo. Molly got to spend her own money on this waste, as we were not going to drop forty dollars for fifteen bucks worth of junk) for the child, he had to all but fight the staff for two more sets of ears (that easily had a wholesale cost of fifty cents) for the two of us.

Our room wasn't ready when we arrived, so we were allowed to go out into the waterpark and the staff assured us that they would call the instant our room was ready for us to move on in. They assured us that it wouldn't be more than an hour, and that we could play in the park to our heart's content, so we did.

The park itself? Small and not good enough. For being marketed as a fabulous indoor waterpark, it was disappointing. I can totally understand why, as a ten-year-old, it would be the most fabulous place in the world, but for THIS almost thirty-something? Terrible. Lockers were twenty dollars each to reserve for the remaining eight hours of the day, band-aids and log strands of hair kept entangling themselves with my toes, and the lifeguards and staff were atrocious. I am a particular fan of good customer service. I personally feel that if you are going to work with the public, you should take a specific interest in being respectful, kind, and helpful, especially if you are going to work in a place where your patience is going to be tried. So why, in the name of god, would people with such bitter, negative attitudes, work in a place where they not only need to be sensitive to people with herds of small children, but also people who are insecure or uncomfortable in their own skin, being thrust into a bathing suit for the sake of their children's joy? The staff were atrocious. They were unhelpful, disrespectful, and intolerable, which is unacceptable. 

Two painful hours in the tide pool later, no phone call had been received. Muffin called the front desk, only to have them have no idea who we were or why we were wanting a room. We made our way to the front desk, finally gained the secret knowledge as to where our room was, and went to dry off in the safety of our room. A room that was, like I said, the only good part about our trip (apart from spending a wonderful night with our favourite friends). The room was huge, had a balcony (which didn't come cheap, by the way), a tiny TV (which was broken and had to be replaced), the littlest shower in the world, and OMGCOMFYBEDS. The beds were easily the best part. They were plush, huge, and covered in pillows.

I didn't want to leave my bed, but the lure of food enticed me. Unfortunately, the foodplace in the hotel was a buffet at a whopping twenty bucks a head, so there was no way we were going to eat THERE. We instead walked en masse to a burger place next door (who really deserve their own poor rating, but I just can't stand to drone on for ages about their overpriced burgers, which were tasty, but not worth the pennies) to have some chow before going back to the hotel so that Molly could buy a thirty buck piece of plastic with the last of her money that she could wave around to see paintings come "alive" in front of their very eyes (OMGMAGICAL).

We then swam for another forty minutes and then made our way between the ice cream parlour (where we promptly gave up one of our limbs), the build-a-bear workshop, the arcade (which was my second-favourite part of the trip, as, after an hour and many dollars of trying to win a specific toy, my whining prompted the staff to open the machine and GIVE me a toy), and the disco going on in the great room.

It was overall just exhausting and nearly put us in the poor house. We were lucky that someone else paid for the room, because otherwise we wouldn't have made it through the trip financially. A lot of improvements can stand to be made, and I hope that they shape things up.

Two-and-a-half stars out of five.

Tuesday, July 8th

It feels like it is literally the hottest day in the world. I want to die right now.

The child and I are sitting around, trying not to melt away by filling the living room with fans and reducing the amount of clothes we are wearing considerably. We're watching a film and waiting for the sun to go down so that we can go outside and play.

I have about four blogs to post tonight, two or three on here and one on my other blog, so I'll get on with this Tuesday and move on to them...

TJ Miller
free cinema visits... I follow a lot of groups where I am lucky enough to get a whole heap of free stuff, including a phone last year, lots of toilet paper, and free cinema tickets. My most recent free fabulousness came in the form of two free pre-screening tickets to see the new film The Purge: Anarchy. I'll do a blog about it in a bit, but I wanted to make sure that I gave some love to how much I love new films and especially love to go and see them for free with my BFF on a Monday evening!
thrillers
water parks... NOT the prices, just the experience. I can't even begin to describe how much I hate the prices at places set out to entertain children and steal money from their unsuspecting parents. Again, I have begun a blog about my latest experience at a water park, so you'll have to wait for that. Just suffice it to say that I love them, but only the water part, not the fleecing.
waxing... I'm badass at it and you should totally be jealous that you're not here to get waxed by me right now.
crocheting
Wen Fa... Hot. Towels. On. My. Sternum and neck. DO IT.
ice packs... They make everything okay on these painfully hot nights.
cuddles
bedtime... particularly with Molly here. Every night at bedtime we get to lay her in bed, talk about life, her other home, her friends, her favourite parts of our day, and then we give cuddles and kisses and go to bed. It's really nice and I'll miss it when she leaves, but I'm really glad that her mum also gets to spend so much time with such a great little lady. Knowing that all her love and fun and cleverness is being spread around the country is heartwarming. Her mummy deserves every bit of love that she gets from her.
road trips
planning my Thirtieth... Yeah, that's right. In 128 days I will be thirty and I've been planning like a fiend. I want to do something special and important, even if it IS just for me and Hubby to experience (unless, of course, any of YOU want to meet us and celebrate as well!)
organizing my Pinterest
The VA... After many, MANY weeks of strife and concern, I was given something magical from my dad AND the VA. Because of my dad's service-related injuries, he's recently been awarded one hundred percent disability and because he's my daddy I get to have my education covered by his GI bill. I can't believe that finally, after all the crap that's been showered upon our household, we are being gifted something so special. I'm finally catching a break and I couldn't thank my father or the VA more.
my dad
Denise... she's an angel. One of my classmates and one of the people I'm closest with at the moment. I love her so much.
bonding with classmates... Some of them. do you guys remember when I was in Cosmo and I was dealing with bullshit high school drama? That shit is creeping up again with a few of my classmates and I'm furious about it. I just want to be in a class where I can learn and not have to deal with dramatic crap. Why is that SO HARD?! A few of my classmates, though? They're gems. They are kind, hilarious, and really great to just sit and talk to. We're still all learning about one another, but it's been fun!


Alright. I've got stuff to do... Namely a bath with a super sexy bath bomb just before working on another blog or two and organizing more of my pinterest.

Have a fabulous night and be well!

June 2014. It's ALSO Tuesday!

Good LORD! It's already July!

With the little one outside playing in the warm night with the neighbour kids, I get a moment in the sweltering heat of our house to post some of my favourite things about the past month.

It's been a month chock full of excitement, hot days, fun, and crazy busy, but I've enjoyed pretty much every second of it. Please, have a look!

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Esthetics... I've just begun my first quarter and we started waxing today (which I am INCREDIBLE at, if I do say so myself) and I'm in love! Thus past month has been really important for my education thus far and I've appreciated every moment of it. We've learned a gigantic amount about skin and how it reacts to lots of different variables. It's been great!
• The CDC... I am VERY fascinated with the CDC right now and spend a LOT of time perusing their website every day to keep myself updated on any new outbreaks or viruses. It's incredibly interesting.
• Having Molly here... she's been here for a few weeks now and it's been such a great time! We have so much fun with her, learning about her and teaching her about things that might be new to her. We've spent a lot of time watching films from the eighties and nineties and have done a lot of crafts together. We've all had a blast! To top it off, we've gotten to see her grow leaps and bounds even just in the weeks since she's been here because she finally gets a chance to relax and be a kid. I worry she doesn't get to just get out and get dirty and have rambunctious fun very often at home, so we like to accommodate that.
• Reading... I've been doing a lot of it and there's not really a lot of explanation needed.
• Maleficent... If you're one of my regulars, you'll know I love it. I want to see it again desperately.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Taking as many photos as possible... Because we only get a handful of days with the little lady a year, we like to capture as many memories as possible. I've spent a lot of this trip taking a step back and letting Muffin enjoy time with Molly so that I can take photos for him to look back on until the next time he sees her again. It'll be a long five months, but we'll see her again soon enough. 
• Stephen King books... Doctor Sleep has spurned a whole new love for Mr. King's books for me again. I've become pretty obsessed with reading as many of them as possible lately. Plus, he has a new one that JUST came out that I'm going to be starting soon. He's such a brilliant author and I adore his books. I'm also thrilled to discover that a whole heap of his books are going to be made into films VERY soon!
• Planning Great Wolf Lodge... So, for Molly's birthday, Grandma booked us a room at Great Wolf Lodge for this summer and we're going in three days. We can't even BELIEVE how excited we are about it! I honestly think Muffin and I are more excited than Molly is. We've been looking at photos of the water park there every single day to get ourselves all riled up about the trip. It's going to be so much fun and there will be TONS of photos taken to commemorate the excitement!

Things I want to tell July Danie:

• "You can take the high road and it won't cost you a penny. Just be patient and understanding."
• "Stop putting off workouts, you're not going to get where you want to be with that kind of attitude!"

last but not least... here's a quote.  I've personally given up on being hateful. I want for things to start mending, and until people make the decision to grow up with me, I'll be here, patiently hoping for an end to all the negative junk in my life. I don't have time in my life for things that are so unpleasant. I have chosen to be happy and take control of how I treat people. I know that everyone deserves to be treated with fairness and respect, and I am willing to offer that to individuals, even if they might not necessarily deserve it.