Wednesday 7 November 2007

you know what i love?

the fact that everyone my husband speaks to hates me. why, do you reckon they all hate me? most of them have never met me... most of them never will, but they all have this intense dislike for me and the things i do.

i just spoke to husband on the phone and he said that whilst speaking to my sister-in-law yesterday she advised him that i am crap and all of my tattoos are stupid and she thinks all of my decisions are ridiculous. she also took it upon herself to decide that i am getting tattoos as a form of self-harm.

it upsets me so much when people are so ignorant... people think it is alright to just sit and judge others because they make decisions that are different from ones they would make themselves. yeah, i like tattoos... i like them because i like having pictures on my body. i like remembering certain parts of my life in a different way than SHE does. does that make me a bad person? i would like to think not. i am a person who makes personal decisions regarding things like i like myself, not what everyone else likes. i do not sit and think, 'hmmm... should i do this? what would maria (muh-reeah, n, sister-in-law, person who only cares about money and how she can spend it) do?' i just don't get why people have to meddle in other people's business. what i eat and cook and get tattoo'd on my body has NOTHING to do with her and has no bearing on her or her personal life, so why does she have to call my husband up and whinge? why does she never call ME and say stuff to me!? GOD it makes me angry.

today was nice otherwise, i have been spending a lot of time lately doing stuff to promote recent
problems
that have been running around a shop that a couple of my friends own called
hello darling
. because gem and mel have been so busy lately i have been going to some of the local council meetings and participating in a local
cleanup
... it feels really nice to be taking part in something and trying to make a change.

well, i am going to prance off and eat some more maltesers so i am pumped as full as sugar as possible before i am off work as i am getting more tattoo done tonight THEN going to see husband play at a gig.

more later.

Tuesday 6 November 2007

a first for most things

well then, here we are... posting in this new blog for the first time.

i have decided that i need a place to be able to put thoughts, desires and disappointments and here is the best place. i do not know anyone on here (yet) and i can imagine this is as good a place as any.

lately i have been in a bit of a state emotionally and mentally as i have been trying to deal with manic depression. england is not very good at helping girls (or boys, i would suspect) with problems. they mostly like to just take ages booking appointments and say that you do not need any help. i know i do and obsiously since the NHS does not plan on helping me at the moment, i need to help myself.

i am attempting to change jobs and just generally change a great deal about my life. i am trying to fix things i thought were previously broken and stop things that used to get away with themselves. my husband and i are trying quite hard to get our relationship back to where it used to be, which is taking longer than one would expect, but we are doing it together, so that makes it easier for both of us.

so, to inform you... the following list are things that you may or may not see discussed on this page.

*crochetting/knitting projects
*guinea pigs and the act of breeding them in hopes of making the fattest most beautiful one ever *work and how much i want to leave it
*manic depression
*films, books and art
*zombies
*tattoos


and so on and so forth. please enjoy if you are on for the ride. i will try not to bore you.

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