Tuesday, 27 December 2011

post-Christmas Tuesday...

holy GOD it's Tuesday and i'm finally, actually sitting down to do a list! Muffin and i are in the middle of watching a war film and the house needs tidying like nobody's business, but you know what? i have a list that i have been sitting on for bloody weeks.

anyways, here's my list. i've other shite i need to get done, so i'll get this guy out.

reheated pizza... but ONLY if it's been reheated in a microwave... none of that bullshit oven reheating for me!
matte nail varnish... which is literally the only thing i will paint my nails with at the moment. 
super tender chicken tenders
spicy ketchup
cherry tomatos
carpool lanes... because there is NOTHING more delightful than to be able to just pip into the far left lane when all the others are moving slow as fucking shit.
Mel Brooks
heels with jeans
Sweet Jim Beam Bacon Swiss Burger... god bless Ref Robin.
friendly managers
when stars reach out about illness Maroon 5 and adhd
cats on cat nip
Tom Hanks
disco balls
kissing Muffin when he has his beard... oh my GOD i love his beard so much!
neon signs
laying a stench egg as you're getting out of the car and ruining lives... because that stench egg just hatches in the car whilst you are happily doing your shopping and remains, sometimes fermenting until your return, at which time everyone's life is destroyed.
new magazine day
Carole King
local a capella rappers
mocking hipsters
tomato juice
collating the greatest parcel in the history of parcels... oh and i AM compiling the best parcel that has every been received by anybody. Janey, brace yourself for all the horribly inappropriate and epic items in the world.
Vincent Price
Sigourney Weaver
historical horror film documentaries... i've been watching a ton of documentaries recently about the history of the slasher film and it has been so much fun and so interesting.
Stephen King
the fact that everyone i work with smokes... it is always so nice to be able to go out on my break and find SOMEONE out there to bullshit with.
PUPPIES CRAWLING ALL OVER ME... and oh my GOD did i have that happen last week! i had three customers in my lane... the third and final one in my lane being a couple that each had a tiny, six-week-old puppy in their hands. i immediately begged them to let me snuggle them and had two puppies crawling all over me and chewing on my nose and ears. it was amazingly wonderful.
children with ginger hair
the black girl who comes in's hair... it is fucking huge and every single time she comes in i just tell her that i want her hair.
customers who take their hangers out for me... because it makes EVERYTHING go easier. when you go shopping and don't want your hangers, please, for the sake of the cashier, remove your hangers.
when a customer's change comes to forty-one cents... one quarter, one dime, one nickle and one penny. very satisfying.
old American foodball footage

opening my list the morning after a night out
the fact that everyone at work already knows about me and dogs... and how disgustingly obsessed i am with them. and how i will literally get no work done when a dog comes into the store.
the sound of geese flying over


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