I crapped my pants on my way into work this morning when it dawned on me that all I have left is six days.
That’s 132 hours (I know that, for you math buffs out there, you will equate six days as NOT being 132 hours, but the extra twelve hours are actually taking into account the final few hours.)
That’s 7,920 minutes…
That’s NOT a lot of time.
At this time in approximately 132 hours I will be on my way to the airport with several of my favourites on toe to hand me tissues, hug me and tell me I’ll be okay. I will be an emotional trainwreck after having spent the day celebrating Pow’s birthday and participating in what I can only describe as epic events for the preceding week. Epic because of their special nature and importance in making this transition easier. I have set myself the task of attempting to memorize as many details about the next week as possible with my eyes, brain and camera so I can take them with me to consume when I begin to pine after England.
I feel the events of an epic nature officially started on Monday when I arrived home to the beaming faces of my two current favourite boys, Pow and Graham. They had been recording a song all afternoon that Graham had written about Channel 4 news anchor Krishnan Guru Murthy. Because they had been such hard workers all day I immediately set to washing-up, cooking dinner and baking cookies for the three of us. Once they finished recording the audio they needed to make a video for it, ever the helper, I instantly set myself the task of making ties and helping with the audio for the remainder of the evening.
Tuesday with the Powtalk in bed. It shifted me in ways that I did not know I could be shifted and made me love my life more than I ever knew possible. I won’t really elaborate more because you’ve read the entry… there’s no point boring you with details that you can easily scroll down and read. I’d rather save the finger energy and brainpower.
Wednesday was DanPow haircut day. When he walked through the door I was on the sofa kinda watching Hollyoaks and kinda talking to Muffin. Pow looked manly in a pair of black manslacks, a black manblouse and proper manshoes. He had been on a film set all day and looked the part of his character, a racist, no-nonsense cop on the beat! The instant he came in he pulled his sunglasses off and said he wanted his head shaving… I said I’d do it if he did mine, so we did. I finished my conversation with Muffin and the evening progressed from haircuts to dinner to films and generally just a beautiful night with just the two of us. I spent a lot of the evening appreciating the silences between us, knowing that that would be the last of them before I leave (because houseguests will be arriving VERY soon and staying until I step on my plane). We talked, laughed and laid our heads on one-another’s shoulders until we were both too sleepy to do anything but flail our arms around and complain
Yesterday proved to be amazingly magnificent and also proved that every single day before I leave will be better than the last. I arrived home to see Pow walking up the street with arms full of shopping. I helped him put his shopping away and we decided we wanted to see the new Ellen Page film so we pranced in the rain to Blockbuster and purchased that and “I Love You Philip Morris” (I saw this at the cinema ages ago with Muffin and can I just say, if you’ve not been lucky enough to have seen it yet, sort your BLOODY life out and see it immediately! It’s amazingly well done and a great story). The original plan for the night was meant to just be Pow and myself relishing in our last night together in peace but it was decided that Graham needed to come round to sing and play guitar for me so I could film it.
We started watching “Whip It” (again, if you’ve not seen this, sort your life out. it’s really cute, fun and heartwarming) and it was decided that I would be joining a girl’s rollerderby team when I arrive in Washington and that that would officially make me the coolest, cutest, most useful wifey in all the land. We mused over rollerderby names for me to use until Graham arrived. He and I began smoking almost immediately and Pow and I huddled together on the sofa until the film ended and then the boys armed themselves with guitars. As soon as the film was over Pow suggested, rather fabulously, that my rollerderby name should be “Butcher’s Girl.” this would be for TWO reasons… ONE: that’s my name, don’t wear it out! TWO: Hot Japanese Girl, Pow’s band, has a song called “Butcher’s Girl” which I could plug when I become a super rollerderby champion and then they could get invited to do a tour of America just by being awesome and associated with me, thusly shooting them straight into international stardom!
I sat on the sofa and filmed the boys practicing their Hot Japanese Girl set and generally being silly. They became progressively louder until, at around midnight-thirty, the door went in a loud and startling manner. Immediately concerned it was the police or a disgruntled neighbour, we halted any noise to see if they would leave. The knocking persisted for a further two minutes and Pow decided he HAD to answer it. Graham and I braced ourselves for the unknown… when the familiar alarm ping went off we winced and heard a shout of glee fall from Pow’s mouth and I heard a voice I knew and missed a lot. An old friend of Pow’s and a man I love massively was at the door, chancing us still being awake… Mr Liam Sharp (if you don’t know who he is, go ahead and take a moment to click the link on his name and become suitably jealous that I have such awesome friends). We hadn’t seen him for six weeks because he’s been in america on holiday with his family, so it was a pleasant surprise to see his big, beautiful face.
I leapt up off the sofa and squealed with delight, bursting into the hallway to hug him.
the rest of the evening was a blur of booze... i lasted until five in the morning and then had to go die, otherwise i would NOT have made it into work today.
i DO remember many occasions where i just had to stop and think to myself that i have an incredibly fortunate life to have so many beautiful people in it. i sat and watch Liam as he and Pow sang and Graham played guitar and felt like i was JUST where i needed to be and i smiled.
just now though, and all the other minutes in the day, it becomes more difficult to think about leaving... about giving that last hug to people. the main person currently is Pow, and i presume that's because i see him most, but for godssake it is going to destroy me. i am trying to make sure i go through every motion of my days remembering everything that's special for me but sometimes my heart takes over and i have to get misty-eyed...
i almost feel like i'm six days away from cheating on england and my life with some other younger country and life. i certainly hope it's worth it.