Thursday, 8 July 2010

I ain’t the way you found me and I’ll never be the same…

This post will hopefully begin a long series of blogs about the most special people in my life... I want to reflect back on my friendships with them and create a more concrete reminder of why they are so special to me. 

Primarily, my entries will be for the people in England that I love and will be leaving behind for a year… keep your eyeballs peeled for an entry about YOU!

Through my last twenty-five years i have had the most amazing string of people run through my life... people that have altered me in ways I never, ever knew possible. The first one that always springs to mind is Pow... he's the one constant that I’ve had, the one person who, despite all the shite I’ve been through, has stuck by me... he's seen me plummet to my worst and pushed me to achieve my best.

Out of everyone in my life I speak to him the most and trust what he has to say the biggest.

I met him on November 21st 2004… I remember it almost perfectly. I was stood at the stove in the tiny kitchen of 68 Friargate… I was stirring some misc. sauce in a pan when the door went. Stuart had been telling me about him most of the morning… this boy that used to have long hair, played Jesus in a film and had a breakdown which left him living just a mere 0.1 miles away (a two-minute walk) on his own.

I had only been in the country for two days and was generally feeling quite nervous about new people, so I busied myself, attempting to stir the sauce I was tending to extra-hard so as to appear super-domesticated and to hopefully avoid having to talk to him.

Stuart went to the door and within forty seconds the giant face that I would eventually come to love so much popped into the doorway of the kitchen and said hello. He was wearing black trousers, a white t-shirt and a black suit jacket; the one I am oh-so-familiar with now, and have even worn on a couple of occasions (my favourite memory of me wearing it being the night of our first sleepover… we took photos of Pow dressed as Jesus in the back garden and I didn’t want to freeze to death, so I stole it from it’s home on the back of Pow’s computer chair as he whisked me outside with my camera).

I turned and abruptly said hello, only noticing for a brief moment how beautiful his face was and feeling bashful because of my being an American and new to the world of student life and artists/musicians. His visage was only in the doorway for a short time before making its way the three paces to the lounge where he 
immediately picked up a guitar and began to play whilst talking to Stuart and my then-fiancé. it was that night that I very first fell in love with his voice… I cannot remember exactly what song he sang, but I know that from the first moment I heard his voice I was his biggest fan.

Four days later Christopher and I went to a gig… fancy-dress. I was horrified and did not participate. I put on my faithful stripy blue shirt, tied my hair back and marched to the pub to meet with Claire and Mark. The bulk of that night was spent talking to Pow. He was dressed as a Lounge Singing Hitler and gave me my first Dr. Pepper cocktail. I drank a shocking amount and left. It was this night that the first ever photo of Danie and Pow was taken (the first of godican’tbelievehowmany).

Other dates from the first few years float around in my memory. I remember going to the First Floor with Claire to dance and Pow showing up after multiple text-attacks… we talked, he hugged me and he watched me.

I remember one incredibly warm night we were walking home from Union Blue and I was far too drunk to cope and he held my hand so I didn’t fall over and die. I remember being alarmed by how large his hands were in comparison to mine (which isn’t hard, as the only people with hands smaller than mine are babies).

I remember showing up to one of his open mic nights and him coming and giving me a giant bear hug…  I asked him to sing me a pretty song and he sang me “Creep”  by Radiohead. I’ve not been able to listen to that song since without thinking of him and that night… the night he wrote his list for me.  

I can remember mostly every single tiny detail about most of our interactions… I remember constants from our time together like him watching me, our ability to talk like nothing matters and how comfortable I felt with him immediately…

The month after I moved here we had a Christmas party and Christopher and I had a massive fight after most everyone went to bed. I was laid in bed with Christopher shouting at me… texting Pow and he told me to come out. I went to the lounge, left Christopher to sleep and drank with Pow until the wee hours of the morning. after that incident Pow was always the safe place for me… which is why I can now see why I associate him and his very limited-edition scent with being safe. Every single time I was having a tough time he welcomed me into his house with a cup of tea and we would sit on his sofa and talk… his sofa has heard just as many of my secrets as Pow has.

Neither of us can recall how or when the REAL bonding actually started taking place. For years we were mere acquaintances. We spoke casually on messenger when we were both on and sent one another random texts, but from 2004 until 2007 our friendship never stretched beyond the realm of me emailing him when I had a bad dream, texting him and occasionally popping around. When we were both in the same locale we would hang out and talk, he would sing for me and I would fall in love with his voice…

For some reason, I am not entirely sure why, it all just popped in 2008. That year we suddenly started having lots of movie dates and going on adventures. I wish so much that I could recall what exactly spawned it… it was around May and we had both decided we wanted to stop smoking and to start swimming, so we made a pact. We made a pact and since then we have really… oh I don’t know. The friendship I have with Pow is like no other friendship in the world. I love him so big and I know everything it is possible to know about him and seem to have the very special ability to deal with his very interesting character traits with impeccable ease. The things that he does that I put up with, I could never imagine putting-up with them were it anyone else. There is a part of my heart that loves him an extra-special amount and allows me to filter the important from the unnecessary… I have been able to mould my existence around him to create a harmonious relationship that is good for both of us.

There are just things I do with him that I could never do with anyone else. Cooking and eating offal, skinning and tanning a pig’s head, breaking into disused buildings… he’s a remarkable person who, whilst some people may see him as a bit of a joke or a flake, I see him as this amazingly beautiful, strong and sometimes misguided person that I love more than I love most people.

He is so unbelievably smart, talented and knows me bloody well. From the way he collects things to put in my book to the way that he knows JUST what treats to buy me when I need a pick-me-up; he is the best friend a tiny danie could ever have. He always surprises me with the things he remembers or the things he does for me… the small, lovely little things that he does to make me smile when he thinks I might need it.

I love every single little moment I get the chance to spend with him and HATE the fact that I am going to have to leave him in forty-eight days. I hate the fact that I will be leaving behind the one person that knows me better than anybody else in the entire world. He knows everything about me… every single tiny thing, and puts up with it with no questions.

Whilst I have many, many friends, Mr Powers is the one person I spend more time with, have more in common with and ache for the most… he is so fragile and I just want to help him to achieve all the things he’s helped me achieve. He is the one who’s pushed me to start creating the things I have, to start baking as a tiny Danie business… he’s the one who’s supported me through all my hairstyles (but only because he’s had just as many) and lifestyles. He’s amazing and I could never, ever ask for a better friend in a billion years.

Thanks Squishy… 

Now, please see a series of my absolute favourite photos of us, ever. 


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