a kind of "BWEEEE" tuesday...

hrm. never posted that other blog, did i? well i WILL, in time. perhaps today? but also perhaps not. there's a lot on this little girl's dinner plate today and i need to get them done before i can sit and go on more than i should about my life in a blog that, more often than not, is not being read and therefore is fairly useless.

alas, i have a list! a glorious list! please enjoy!

french toast and bacon cupcakes... so, for "research" purposes i went to a new bakery that opened up down the road from our house. we went in and i immediately fell in love with the idea of french toast and bacon cakes (complete with a piece of candied bacon on top!). my pout came into effect almost straight away as i began pawing at Muffin's collar, making sure that there was NO DOUBT that i would want a cake and OMGCOULDIPLEASEHAVEITRIGHTNOW?! anyways. i got my cake and good freaking jesus in a handbasket it was beautiful. it was like a tiny bit of heaven was cut from the skies and churned around in a mixer with bacon bits, sugar and maple syrup. it was the most perfect store-bought cake i'd ever had. ever. PHWOAR!
daytime drinking
talking to Carmen... my other sister and i are not too terribly close. we rarely speak and typically when we do it's just not overall very nice. it's usually very mechanical and painful. like pulling teeth, but friday... friday i had an amazing conversation with her that left me heaped in a little ball of weepy in a too-hot-for-me bath. it was a conversation that made me feel like we actually had a connection and that she really, honest-to-goodness cared for me, which i've never really felt before. it was nice. it made me feel nice.
new jewelery
photo collages
valentine's day... which was unbelievably magical this year. this has been the first valentine's day that i feel like i've been really, absolutely in love. i spent the entire day in complete awe of how much i love Muffin... i stared at his hands and feet and nose and literally couldn't believe how much i love him. it hurts, how much i love him. he made it a perfect day and i can't seem to find enough words to thank him for giving that to me.
the fact that i'm fairly spoiled... mmm, i really am. i pretty much get anything i want. mostly. my wants aren't huge, but Muffin tends to oblige... he takes care of me by way of cupcakes, baking trays, shoes, hamburgers... he's magical.
pine nuts
random phone calls
my hairs
oh my LORD sex
tandem showers
the johnny cash project
finding an awesome bargain
mary j blige
julia roberts

completely, absolutely unexpected surprises... after receiving many, many magical gifts on valentine's day i felt relaxed and pleased. i occasionally prodded Muffin, saying that he SHOULD have gotten me flowers, as EVERY girl likes getting flowers. it wasn't until i was about to begin cooking our amazingdindins when he asked if i needed anything from the supermarket. i grinned at him, knowing that he was going to go get me some flowers and used my need for prosciutto to be able to away himself to a local florist to find me some sort of lily. whilst he was out i readied the supplies for the chicken parmigiana. i laid out the breasts, cheese, basil, bay leaves and olive oil when booger went nuts, signaling the return of his father. Muffin walked into the kitchen with one hand behind his back and the other holding a supermarket bag with my ham. he mumbled about flowers and how he hadn't gotten me anything huge and then pulled me close and handed me a cutesy ceramic cupcake with five carnations and a heart in it. i was immediately delighted with the glitter, cupcake and flowers and sat the gift down to kiss his face off for being a good listener when he pulled away and said, "oh dear, it looks as though this came with a ring." it was at that moment that i forgot how to speak and how to not weep. i just smiled and saw the tiny glittering ring being held in place by the heart. he proceeded to explain to me that this ring meant that he was mine. that he would be mine and nobody else's and that one day we will, when the time is right, become engaged and wed. he then removed the ring from it's flowery bed and placed it on my tiny finger (which seems to have become even tinier since it was measured last, as a spacer had to be purchased today so as to avoid the loss of said promise of foreverlove). literally, receiving a ring from Muffin was the last thing in the entire world i expected and i have spent the last twenty-four hours in a state of excitement that cannot be contained, staring at my hand, but doing so in secret so as to not look like a goddamn weirdo. just, SQUEEE!
mozzarella cheese
bill murray
valium
honesty
cardigans
clearing out the garage
cooking magazines
william elliot whitmore
love songs
marvin gaye
coming out of dark places... i'm going through dark places. places i've kept secret because i don't want people to worry. even Muffin has been mostly kept out of the loop. i've wanted to travel them alone and came dangerously close to losing myself, but i feel like slowly, right now, i am making it through. it feels like, but still slightly unstable.
inappropriate post cards
taxidermy
finding dead animals on the side of the road
blueberry cakes
angel hair pasta
how tiny my hands are
cleavage
chewing plastic
how sexy a simple pair of underwear can make me feel
cupcakes that are so beautiful it makes my head hurt... like these:

mmm, that's good enough. i have a romantic dinner to prepare for. have a lovely week. <3

tell me about it... the love...

Him: fucking shit I love you
Me: tell me about it
Me: about the love
Him: it's so amazing the neighbors are going to be like damn
Me: oh?
Him: it's so much love that love bugs are going to like damn, those two are already in love
Him: cupid's going to get shot by OUR arrows
Him: and then cupid is going to be like
Him: damn man, that shit is pointy
Him: and it hurts
Him: and we'll be like, yeah, we know
Him: now you see how it feels
Him: you jerk
Him: and then venus is going to explode
Me: the god or the planet?
Him: the planet will explode into a gabillion jellybeans of love and the god will cry bubble gum tears of love
Him: and we'll prance all over the world
Him: mainly greece and rome
Him: and be super awesome
Me: god i fucking love you
Me: thank you for making me so happy

all the things he says...

Me: so
Me: tell me about our future
Him: ok
Him: you and me
Him: snuggled on the couch
Him: with the puppy
Him: watching movies
Me: oh
Me: em
Me: gee
Him: your head on my shoulder
Him: mine on your head
Him: most likely a rom com
Him: I kiss your head lightly
Him: during the part when the two unlikelies fall in love
Him: I reach over and eat some more fried tofu sticks
Me:no
Him: fried cheese sticks
Me: okay
Him: I reach over and grab some more taco bell
Him: the puppy looks up at me
Him: I say, this isn't for you bill
Him: I eat it
Me: his name will NOT be bill
Him: but give a bite or two to the dog
Me: fyi
Him: you're focusing on the wrong parts here baby
Me: sorry
Me: i am squeeing a lot though
Me: fyi
Him: what I eat and the dog's name is all you're worried about, then you need to reassess your life

Him: I give you a huge kiss and we snuggle so tight
Him: you tell me how you've never been so in love
Him: I tell you the same
Him: once the movie is over, I say, let's go for a walk
Him: and we walk while watching the beautiful sunset
Him: Jorge runs around on the leash
Me: no
Him: no leash?
Me: no Jorge
Him: Jorge is our retarded neighbor
Me: okay
Him: we need to walk him
Me: i just let out the stupidest laugh in the world
Me: ever

Him: why?
Me: go on
Me: you just make me so happy
Him: ok
Him: so we watch the sunset walking through the park
Him: stopping to make out and kiss
Him: we joke
Him: laugh
Him: talk about our EVEN MORE distant future
Him: hold hands
Him: play on the toys in the park
Him: eventually coming up to an ice cream shop
Me: omgparty?
Him: I pull out an illegal gun and rob it for 5 gallons of rocky road and 5 gallons of whatever you want
Him: then we jump into the getaway car and have a party at home
Me: green mint chocolate chip
Him: sorry, couldn't help myself
Me: i love you so much
Him: that was kinda funny right?
Me: it was
Him: love you so much
Him: we get some cones
Him: keep up on our wlak
Him: walk
Him: it gets dark and we head home
Him: I go upstairs and start to shower, my feet are sore because my shoes are old and I need new ones
Him: you tell me this for the 100th time
Him: I say I know, but I like these ones
Him: you fake hit me
Him: then you rub my feet
Him: seeing the smile it brings to my face