Oh my! I'm the happiest ever!

AT THE MOMENT, I DO NOT THINK ANYBODY IS HAPPIER THAN ME. MY DAD PHONED ME AND WE CHATTED FOR A VERY LONG TIME. HE IS SO SPLENDID AND WAS SO PLEASED WITH THE FACT THAT I HAD FOUND HIM. GOD I AM HAPPY! HE HAS SUCH A GENTLE VOICE AND HE IS SO KIND. HE SAYS THAT THIS IS THE HAPPIEST THING FOR HIM. IT IS FOR ME TO. I HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST SPLENDID YEAR EVER FOR DANIE. I HAVE FOUND MY DAD AND I AM GOING TO ENGLAND AND I AM GOING TO GET TO MEET MY DAD THIS SUMMER... HE AND HIS WIFE ARE GOING TO COME. I GUESS HE AND HER HAD BEEN TALKING ABOUT ME A LOT LATELY. WOW... I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! THIS IS SO HUGE. I HAVE A HUGE AMOUNT OF LOVE IN MY LITTLE HEART RIGHT NOW! WHAT MORE COULD I WANT? THIS IS AMAZING! HE IS GOING TO CALL ME AGAIN TOMORROW. I DO NOT THINK I AM GOING TO TELL ME MUM FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THERE ARE TOO MANY SECRETS IN MY FAMILY... WITH ME MUM AND GRANDPARENTS AND WHATNOT... THEY JUST DO NOT NEED TO BE TOLD AT ALL, HEY? WELL, HAVE A MIRACULOUS DAY! I LOVE YOU ALL! **BLOWS KISSES**

**is a beast**

i enjoy how it is four in the afternoon and i have just woken up **is pleased with self** god i am a wild beast... what is it now? still seventeen? okay... so then, i had a lot of odd dreams, and i am wondering if they come from stress... or from all of the blah i have been putting myself through the past few weeks... i feel much more relieved since i have bought my ticket though. MUCH MORE. there was indeed that little fear in my heart that i would be poor forever, thus leaving me to suffer with never meeting my love. but now... there are other little things on my plate that i am trying to relax myself about. i need to go to more meetings or something. stop worrying about all of the shite! it is nuts!

ohhh...

ello there... i have yet to go to sleep... and i am pleased... i took another quiz and the results will be somewhere down there **points** i heart chris and now the countdown will begin... i am leaving in seventeen days! **twirls in a very demonstrative manner** i love him sooo freaking much! it is amazing sometimes, i mean because i have never met this fellow and i am going to travel for nearly two days so i can be with him... i get jealous sometimes and afraid... because he drinks and... eh, i don't know... a lot worries me. he had me make a list... perhaps i will put it on here later... we will see. i am going to go to bed soon i think. i need it. i am so excited to see the ocean! i am going to miss ashley and kevin like a beast though. good god i am going to miss them! they are my favourites! oh! and i am going to miss my chris poch... and... eh, well, EVERYONE!

** is wildly pleased**

hey there everyone in internet-land! how goes it? i am quite well despite all of my bouts of emo-ness lately. i feel quite good today.. a lot on the old mind, i guess... i was becoming afraid that perhaps i would not get my ticket and get to england, but i purchased it today... i am so pleased about that! perhaps not as much as everyone else though... all of the other people in my life seem to be much more pleased and excited about my trip than me. i am very nervous. so scared... heh... maria is going to take chris and me to the ocean the day after i get there... it will be amazing... i will keep all of you updated whilst i am there... perhaps on a near-daily basis. i am very tired today and i am going to have to get myself into the mode of hanging out with people as much as possible before i leave... i want to leave no person without a hug :) i am going to miss everyone to a wild extent. especially ashley. **waves to her** well, i am off to babysit and force the children to watch finding nemo... have a miraculous evening! **blows kisses**

eh...

well then, here i am on another fun filled day in the life of danie... i have cramps like crazy ans i feel ill. i just want to crawl under my covers and die for a little while, but i do not have the time to do that today.. sundays are hell, i have to open and close. heh. i guess i am not complaining though, it gets me paid. dennis tried to kill himself and everyone is blaming it on shawn. that makes me hurt a lot for him. shawn is really a very gentle soul and the things people like to try and put him through SUCK ASS-COCK so to speak. hee hee... so shawn is hurting a lot. i wish i could have been there for him. well, i mean, more THERE at his house... to talk to him and look him in the eyes... then chris called but he was up getting stoned all night, so he was no fun at all to talk to. i wish i could call him this morning because he has his first day back to school tomorrow and i would like to chat with him about it. meh... i don't know. i feel helpless right now, i wonder if they have a little helpless icon down there... nope... i will find something equally suitting. have a miraculous day.

oh dear...

oh my, a PMS'ing danie is no fun at all. i was in a fantastic mood last night and now i am terrible! people saying stupid things to me and i am all emo... i want to cry right now... i do not know why... i feel all helpless when i am like this. i love chris... he is splendid and we talk about babies, but right now all of that makes me want to cry. i cannot handle the stupid people that are in my life sometimes. i wish i could put up a status message for my life... tell everyone to go to hell that i do not want to encounter... heh, i just realized that i have only told kevin about this journal. perhaps we will keep it this way... it will be our little secret... not ashley's or chris's or shawn's... just mine, kevin's and whoever else reads it outside of my circle of friends. meh... whatevah... i am going to go make some pancakes. have a better day than me...

**is angsty**

chris does not like halfway home! i do not think there is room in my heart for a non-lover. hee hee... it is very early an i have to be to work very soon. i missed my bus, so that is delightful. i am tired... i hate how they give me three days off and then expect me to open. i am a alzy beast, what do they expect from me!? i hung out with shawn last night and he is splendid. he was totally NOT as emo as he usually is. i enjoyed that. he is trying very hard. jessi and i talked about cutting quite a mite last night because shawn is trying to quit and i am not too sure what kind of support ot give him. i love the little fella to death! and then there is mister butcher! hee hee... he is such an emo beast right now. the time is getting so close and i am so scared and he is so excited that he has gotten emo. all of the new things that will be occurring will be very different than anything i have ever felt. and it is all going to be so scary and... things... meh, perhaps i will not worry about it today... shawn and i are going to go find some swings today after work and play! **is pleased** i haven't played on a set of swings in years! well then, i am off to snuggle max a mite. have a miraculous day! awww... i forgot, i got to hang out with ashley also yesterday; i missed her so much! god i hate work and school! **shakes fist** adios all!

a poem

Break time

When it hurts this bad aren’t you supposed to feel something?
Like,
More than your heart breaking?
Maybe the occasional tear should drop…
Leaving you to feel its cool river down your cheek.
Perhaps there should be the feeling of your soul leaving…
Taking a step out for a break.
It’ll smoke a few cigarettes,
Take down a few beers…
The things it can’t do normally,
The things it isn’t allowed to do during “buisness hours.”
Why do you take such long work weeks?
You never take time off for fun.
You go and go,
Always running and pushing to look good…
“to impress the boss,” she says…
Let your soul rest a little, hey?
It needs time to put on band-aids
And laugh it up with the guys a little too…

an emo beast

yo. i am here being an emo beast, i feel a mite better right now. i just spoke to chris and he always seems to do the trick. his sister sent me a letter with a piccy of oliver in it and it is just the cutest thing in the world! perhaps tooo cute. i am very excited to meet everyone! it is going to be something so huge and different in my life and i do not know how i am going to do it sometimes, but it will all work out, i think. i am going to go and donate plasma today and i am quite excited about it. it is going to take a long time though because they have to do a physical on me. i am going to take my cd player. i hope shawn's first therapy appointment goes well for him. i worry about him a lot! he is my most favourite husband ever! well then, i am off for a mite. i need to go shower. have a miraculous day! **blows kisses**

A beginning

well, this is the first in a series of events that make up the life of danie. at the moment i am pooped and want to go to bed. i have decided to be a rebel though and not sleep because i have tomorrow and the next day off. i am going to go and donate plasma in the morrow so i can begin accumilating money for england. bah! well, i am off for the moment. i will write a splendid one in the morning. i need sleep and to talk to my husband some more. have a splendid evening all! **blows kisses**