Sunday, 21 September 2008

i know why the caged bird sings....

and i really do, yes, i do.

i have been existing recently on a plane of emo with only one destination, 'depressionville.' well, the flight landed and despite the fact that i have been waiting around for a return flight, things have been alright. when i say 'alright' though, i mean... things have been better than awful. but only marginally.

i have been running through my days at work delighted by the antics of my co-workers and barely containing myself when my boss comes in. she was off all last week, so this week she had to make up for the fact that she was not able to harass and scruitinize everything i do for a week. on top of her regular mood, she had to have a verruca attacked on her foot which left her even chillier than usual. she was seemingly only barely holding on to her last breath long enough to limp into the office to make regular jabs at my work and to task me with making the coffee for meetings going on (which is NOT my fecking job and never will be). her mood only became bareable friday, when i had a 'supervision' meeting with her, which is basically a time for me to sit with her and raise any problems i am facing and to allow her time to outline any concerns she has with me and my work... i pranced into the office with only concern due to the fact that everything i had done the prior four days had been wrong. OMG was i surprised when she came out with nothing but beautious delight RE: me and how amazingly splendid i am at getting things done and she would like to see me get some qualifications paid for by the trust. once our meeting was over she then proceeded to hobble to every office on our floor and offer to buy ice creams.
a big perk regarding my working life is that i have decided that since i am getting no 'customer contact' as it were, at my current job, i am going to chase this outside of work hours. due to this epiphany, i have applied for a part time job at LUSH. hooray!

eh, today has been splendid, but the big chunks of my time with chris are consumed by him telling me how crap i am. we had a lovely night the other night where he decided to display his frustration with me by slamming doors and punching them only to stop periodically to advise me of what a crazy bitch i am. let me tell you, i was incredibly impressed by this display. oh yes. he has decided that the best route to making our relationship better is to start having sex every day for two weeks. two days down and i mostly only want to die. i'm just not feeling it at the moment. the way he acts leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to my lady bits. he has really been trying though, which i can see... but he has been trying so much that a lot of it is coming across as patronizing and suffocating. it really is taking its toll on me. i'm just trying to figure out what is happening in my head as fast as i can to make a conscious decision about us.

whilst the biggest chunk of this has been amazing... there have been some iffy moments where i have felt like he just cannae handle having any responsibility or a schedule for doing things. this theory has most certainly been blown out of the water though, as of wednesday... wednesday found me showing up at alastair's for swimming purposes only to find his face full of glee and pleased... he asked me when he opened his door, had i gotten his message... i hadn't. he squeeled a bit and told me that he had made it to the final 50 for the orange unsigned competition! he had been living on wee pins and needles for the last several weeks, worrying if he was going to make it through or not... i knew he would. it seems as though that phone call from the orange people turned his switch to 'on' and he has really hit into a phase of wanting to get things done. as a result, we have kicked the work on his photo comic, 'johnee scisszazzz' into overdrive. i have now taken on the task of being his wee little PA, which means i will be generally helping his keep with deadlines and generally ensuring everything gets done. along with my PA duties, i have also decided to help ali with some of the costumes... one of which will be for the hero of the story who will, for a part of the story, be wearing a mask made of human skin, which i will be creating with pig skin. i am more excited than anything ever for this. i will be going and picking up the skin tuesday afternoon and will begin the curing process wednesday morning.
generally, i am really feeling quite fulfilled with this task. it gets me out of the house and lets me associate with a group of new people that seem to all be delightful.

mostly, that is everything. all my life is surrounded by work, husband and alastair at the moment.

i will be performing some baking tasks tomorrow, which will delight and mystify all. watch this space.


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