Tuesday, 26 October 2010

i want to thank you...

i'm noticing it a lot lately...

i'm kinda an adult now. it's fun and scary and interesting and... i don't really know.

i realized it quite suddenly just sat outside. i was watching the rain from our front porch (which, can i just say, is an amazing thing to have in the rain) and thinking about my ex-husband.

i emailed him this morning because of my new/old obsession, which is The Sims 2. i always forget that i should not play it because i tend to completely let it control my life. i've been spending the last two days perfecting a house for "janey" and "me"... i've yet to actually even start PLAYING the game, just building houses. but when i play The Sims, i REALLY play it... i download loads of extra shit and pimp the fuck out of my houses, which is why it has been two days and i still have yet to complete a house.

please note, that my being an adult has NOTHING to do with playing The Sims and i am admitting that now. that's one thing i do that i really should not be doing when i KNOW there are clothes in the washing machine that need drying and i KNOW that there are dishes in the dishwasher that could do with putting away and i KNOW that there are cupcakes i need to bake. but you know what? i've applied for one job today and looked for other jobs and i STARTED that load of laundry that's slowly rotting away in the washing machine after rolling out of bed to snuggle the boyface before he left for workies at a quarter past five this morning, so give me a freaking break!

anyways, i emailed Christopher because i needed to know how to do something on the computer... it was only immediately after emailing him that i fixed what i asked him for help with and proceeded to play The Sims for two hours.

when i was finished perfecting the living room and "janey's" bedroom i quit for the morning. i need to update my ipod and do some housework, but i checked my email first, one of which was from Christopher. it was a friendly email... one of the ones i really enjoy receiving. one of the ones that makes me think that i will be able to talk to him about music, computers and fish long into the future. i immediately replied with pride, announcing i had fixed my problem and proceeding to tell him about job searches and fish and blah, blah, blah.

post-email i went for my fag and had my revelation, which is why i am now sat here, typing away instead of eating or mopping the bathroom floor. i NEEDED to tell you all and thank someone.

i sat there and thought about Christopher... and then thought about the fish and the fact that i want to brew some cider. then i thought about what i will be making for dinner and remembered that i should hoover, which led me to remember that the only reason i will be ABLE to hoover when i finally get around to it is because i changed the belt just before leaving for Cheyenne.

after a series of thoughts like these, i realized it... i realized i'm an adult who cooks, sews, cleans, works (when given the chance) and makes conscious decisions. i thought about all the adult things that i do and tried to remember when and where that happened. how i transitioned from "sassy teen" to "Danie, SUPER ADULT!"

all of it happened in England and all of it happened whilst i was with Christopher... or as a direct result of him. he is the reason i know more than i ever needed to know about hoovers, after seeing him take several apart and put them back together. he's the reason i know how to cook, after watching his trials and errors in the kitchen for five years. he's the reason i sew and crochet, because he generally embraced me doing creative things and commended my dedication to my arts and worklife.

i am an adult almost completely because of Christopher... an adult that i am so, so happy with and an adult that i wouldn't be had i not married him or spent five years of my life with him.

so, i guess this is a thank you, if you are reading this... and an announcement to everyone else that I'M AN ADULT!! YAY!!


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