well, after many, MANY tuesdays from this year, i am now beginning the last one for this year, this year that has offered me substantial room for growth, inspiration and realization.
the main source of good for this year, for me, has been these lists. these lists that i force myself to sit down and write once a week (i'm pretty sure i didn't miss more than five this year, which is good, out of fifty-two), to allow myself to remember the small, special things that make my life what it is. i too often forget and i hate that.
anyways, here's my list for this week, and the final one for 2010.
The Knife
Pauly Shore's voice
Bobcat Goldthwait
Little Big Planet
shrimp for breakfast
dinner dates with Muffin
donating plasma... mostly because it allows me to see all the most magical people in the world. and i heart needles.
planning roadtrips... Muffin and i are taking a drive up to canada on thursday for new year's and i am super excited. our original plans to drive to california were thwarted by questionable weather and dwindling funds, so it was decided that a prance to the land of maple syrup was in order. currently i am attempting to compile music to occupy us as we drive. more information as it comes!
playing with the dog first thing in the morning... he's literally the most apeshit dog in the world and mornings where we let in prance into our room are funnest because he's absolutely insane.
hearing Muffin say that things are good... things between us at the moment are substantial. i know that. i can see it and feel it. but it's always nice to hear HIM say it. it sorta reaffirms that things actually are good and i'm not imagining it.
doing laundry
unexpected surprises... since i was seventeen i've been searching for my half sister. my father's other daughter. her name is quoted in my baby book and he has mentioned her to me on occasion, which has led me to search extensively for her. search and email so many random Angelique Verlaque's that my head and fingers were tired (also, who KNEW there would be so many people with THAT name in the world?!). just three days ago i was just about to cook dinner when i checked my emails to find i had a message on facebook. a message i opened and completely lost the capacity to comprehend after skimming it and reading the line: "I guess I just wanted you to know that you have an older sister and try to get to know about you." it was HER and she had found me. i looked at her profile photo, a picture of her three daughters, two of which look EXACTLY like a tiny danie. i whimpered, which lead Muffin to have slight concern, but not quite enough to actually leave his computer. i told him my sister had emailed me, which he didn't understand the weight of because my sisters email me all the time. it was only after i explained WHICH sister, that he came into the room and looked at her photo and read the email. i went on to cook dinner and had a swirling head. even now, today, i am trying to comprehend the fact that i now have ANOTHER sister and THREE more nieces. phew!
Bill Murray
Dr Pepper
grape gummy sweets
piña coladas
speaking to my extended family... grandparents, aunts, uncles, it's nice.
releasing pain... i've been in the slow process of letting painful things go. things that i don't need in my life anymore. it's nice to finally get rid of all of that ugly.
