28: What do you wish you had started to learn as a kid?

mmm... i think it would have been nice if i had put more effort into learning a second language. like, i can understand spanish when it's spoken to me but i can't speak it for the life of me. that's what i really wish.

parts of me wish that i had put more effort into learning an instrument, but i would rather just live in the glory of being able to play the two most beautiful songs in the world on guitar.

27: What about being a child do you miss the most?

for me,the thing that was most special about being a child was the complete innocence.

you just live in this magical world where everything is taken care of for you and you don't have to worry about anything beyond what piece of playground equipment you are going to play on during recess. i miss that. the innocence and ignorant bliss i was able to live in as a child.

i'm not saying i don't heart being a grown-up, but sometimes it would be so nice to just be able to ring someone in my family after a metaphorical skinned knee and have them fix it for me. have them hold me and tell me it will all be okay and would i like an ice lolly?

that's what danie wants right now. to feel small again. to feel small and be taken care of.

26: What might you have been like if you had had perfect nurturing?

i don't really like this question because there is no way of saying what 'perfect nurturing' is. like, i know that my upbringing wasn't the ideal definition of 'perfect,' but i wouldn't change it for the world.

like, the thought of me having a different or more 'perfect' upbringing terrifies me because the place i am at the moment is just so perfect for me. i am the perfect amount of hard and soft in all the right places and i worry that had i had a different upbringing, i could have been like, either super-sensitive or a massive dick-face. i think this creature i turned into is perfect and any other upbringing would have hugely altered that.

25: What Troubles did you have with your parents?

oh my!

there were a massive amount of problems when it came to my parents as a child.

my father was never around and when he was, it was only for the purpose of trying to see me (which usually involved him attempting to snatch me from various locations). my father was never officially in the picture, he was more-or-less just someone who my mum painted a very frightening picture of for me... which is most likely one of the reasons that i was terrified to go anywhere in public.

my mum fell very ill when i was very young and i was immediately thrust into a position of carer for her. she only got sicker and sicker which made my life more difficult.

so there we are... deadbeat dad and sick mum... those were my troubles.

24: what has changed most about the neighbourhood you grew up in?

well, i guess all i can really say is that it is a vast amount cleaner.

going through the neighbourhood in april for the first time in like, three years really shocked me. it almost didn't look like the same place i used to prance as a child. a lot of the trees were cut down, a lot of picket and chain-link fences were put up and everything had a beautiful blanket of grass covereing it.... bar the streets and pavements, as you can imagine.

23: what activities besides eating when on at the kitchen table in the home you grew up in?

ohhh...

well, our kitchen was mostly a haven for two of our many dogs who just didn't get on with the rest of the pack. bambi and buck. they resided in the kitchen, behind the confines of a baby gate. mostly the kitchen was not used for anything other than a dumping ground for junk and so i feel i can safely say that the kitchen table served merely as a secret place for bambi to have puppies when she was pregnant.

22: What secret fantasies and games did you have as a child that you told no one about?

okay... so, this is a good one.

i used to hang out at the laundrette my mum worked at and do this thing... SO weird.

bare in mind whilst i am telling you this, that i was like, nine or ten.

i used to hang out in any little secret place i could (corridors, under tables, around corners), any place was fine as long as i was within ear-shot of a youthful gentleman who was laundering alone. i would sit there and sing love songs. mostly whitney houston. i would sing these songs and imagine that this person... this gentleman, would hear me, become entranced in my beauteous siren song and come find me only to fall madly in love with me.

needless to say, this never worked. i blame it not on my singing and siren abilities, but the fact that the washing machines and clothes driers were TOO loud.

21: What was the craziest thing you did in your youth?

well, as young lady i participated in far too many things to list... i am trying to think what would be the one that would strike people as most out-of-the-ordinary.

mostly i enjoyed hiding in people's rooms and watching them do things that they wouldn't ordinarily do if someone (especially a little girl) was watching.

one incident i remember particularly well was when my friend Jessica and i hid under the bed of a guy called Bo, who rented out a room in her basement. we was QUITE the stud, and we decided we were going to hide and surprise him when he came home from work... little did we know that he came home, got into the shower and came in the bedroom naked... that is the day that changed my little girl mind forever. after this incident, i was on overdrive for sneaking around and seeing older people's secret bits.

yes. i was a delightful child.

20: In what organisations or extracurricular activities did you participate?

i was never really one for participating in anything that didn't involve barbies or pretending to be reba macintyre.

when i was REALLY young i was in the brownies. it was fun mostly because there was a girl there was Tai who was a big, beautiful, sassy black girl who had two older brothers who's tales of mischeif she would always divulge to use prior to our macaroni-decorating and card-making.

i a little later i was in the Youth Group at church where i took part in a group where we created and performed dance routines to youthful religious songs every sunday. it was special.

19: What is a special compliment you always received?

i was regularly told that i had incredible hair as a child. this was due to the fact that i had the THICKEST hair anyone had ever seen in their lives.

despite the fact that it was very lovely, it was also the bane of my existence, as it loved to rebel as much as it could by way of turning into a rat's nest within twenty minutes of brushing it.

18: Did you ever get lost?

oh my LORD. there was nothing in the world i was more frightened of as a child.

i was a horrible nuisance any time we went out because i clung to my mum (or any other adult i deemed as safe) like i was going to die if i didn't.

i came from an age where it was big to use scare tactics to stop children from wondering. while most children would ignore this and continue to be loose cannons, i became eternally terrified to ever be out of sight of an adult that i knew.

so, as a result, i never, ever got lost. i was ALWAYS where i was meant to be.

17: Did you have your own telephone growing up, or any other special privleges?

well, i didn't my own phone, as SUCH, but i DID have an incredible phone in my bedroom that had huge buttons on it that were clear and you could remove them and put photos in it to help remember speed dial options. it was absolutely fabulous.

i guess i had special privleges in that i was the youngest and i was living at home, taking care of my mum from a young age, so my mum and grandparents made sure i was happy... they got me lots of presents and stuff... i generally had everything i could ever dream of.

16: Why were you given your name and does it have special meaning?

eh, i hate this...

as i was growing up i always asked my mum why she named me what she named me... her answer was always the same... she knew why she named LaDonna and Carmen what she did... but she had no idea at all why she called me Danielle.

all i really know about my naming is that, were i to have come out with a penis, i would have been called Christian... which, one would think would have led to a name like Christina or something when i came out with a vagina... but here we are...

15: who had the most positive influence on you?

most likely my sister again. i really felt that i could look up to her and anytime that i felt i needed some strength, i would go see her. she had an incredible air of all-knowing intelligence that i thought was amazing.

14: what was your most memerable toy?

from what i can recall... the toy that sticks out most in my memory is a talking doll... i remember this mostly because as soon as i opened her, my mum's friend jo shouted out, 'she had better have sme good batteries in her, that little girl sure can talk!'

it was a true story as well, mostly because that doll's batteries died within a month.

13: who did you think was the smartest person in the world?

as a child i was all about thinking my sister carmen was all-knowing and able to do anything ever. she was incredibly and i was aware from a young age that she had been through a great deal and had come through the other end with a beautiful baby and life.

12: was there anything unusual about your birth?

well, i was hugely fat for being two weeks early.

also, despite both of my sisters taking over 24 hours to pop out, i only took four. which, i can suspect can only be attributed to the fact that i was the third child to come out of my mum's vagina.

11: do you have any siblings?

indeed! i have two sisters... they are quite lovely. i never really know what to call them. as a child i always just called them my sisters but now, given our family history, i am often forced to call them 'half sisters' as we only share the DNA of our mum. we look a dramatic amount alike (or so people say) and get along reasonably well, despite many problems in the past.

i get along mostly with my eldest sister, LaDonna, who is just an incredibly fabulous creature who really does have a huge amount in common with me. she is just hysterical and really down to earth.

i loves her big time.

i also have two brothers-in-law due to marriages to my sisters and a sister-in-law through husband.

10: what were your first words and who told you what they were?

i am going to guess that my mum told me what my first words were and that she told me they were 'mum.'

9: what's your saddest memory?

as a child or overall? i guess if we are talking about my saddest memory from childhood that causes me a pain in my belly from thinking about it, it would be when i had to go to the vet with one of our ill dogs. he was old and had run away and gotten hit by a car so he had a fucked up spine and his prostate was swollen, causing him extreme pain.

he was my mum's favourite and because she was disabled, she could not come with us. when we got there the vet said that he would have to be put down. he was suffering quite a great deal. i spoke to mum and she agreed. i couldn't be in the room when it happened, so i waited out in reception. i still heard him yelp just before he died though and it was one of the most horrible sounds in the world.

i will never forget the look on my mum's face when i came home with just puppy's blanket in my hands. it totally broke her heart.