Baked and destroyed

well, for the love of god i took long enough to update, didn't i?! for anybody who actually takes the time to read this, i really, honestly do apologise. i promised myself every morning that as soon as i left work that evening i would come and get on the computer to post a blog. obviously, that never happened... but here i am now. has it really been three freaking months?! i actually can't believe it! let's re-cap what has been happening these last few months, shall we?

March

• i generally just slowly bobbed along, trying to make sure i didn't bump into anything that would make my life more horrible than it needed to be.
• i got a letter form Dr Denny in response to my previously posted letter, which generally said i was lying and that he was referring me onto a new consultant. YAY!
• Satankim went off work for a month! her holiday began march 17th and she went to Australia on a holiday she did nothing but complain about for the two months prior to her flight-date. her holiday featured TWO cruises and endless tours all over the land i oh-so-badly want to visit.
• i was introduced to the glorious band that is Andrew Jackson Jihad who as just the most witty, funny, dancy, fabulous band ever! look them up immediately!

April

• Jerryfest FINALLY happened and it featured a massive amount of glorious dancing, prancing and eating.
• i baked 100 cupcakes at the Aga shop for Jerryfest and made everyone happier than they knew it was possible to be.
• had an unexpectedly longer visit from claire and mark due to Ryanair being satan (they got to the airport and checked in then waited for their flight. the boarding call occurred, everyone began boarding and then the flight people just STOPPED boarding with six people left. the flight was not full, they just didn't feel like boarding anymore people, i guess.). so they came back to ours and we pranced for several days in a musical flurry.
• we got a new guinea pig who is a stupendously precious creature who i bought only on a whim when i saw her cowering in the corner of an entirely empty cage. the backstory of her life is as such

once upon a time, there was a tiny princess-like guinea pig born who was yet to be named. she was ginger and incredibly cuddly but she was also the tiniest little guinea pig of the litter. all the other pigs hated her and made fun of her tiny face and her even tinier feet. she just continued to prance and dig in the hay, knowing that one day she would be loved.
-ENTER DANIE- 4:45pm, Pets at Home, Derby, UK

the shop had been open all day, all her brothers and sisters had been sold within a timely manner and an excitable american pranced in and sees her tiny, beautiful red eyes and knows that she must be hers.

and to be honest, that was the end of that story and the beginning of a new one. she is tiny and we called her Chopper... named because of her tiny ears which had been mostly chewed off by her siblings due to her small size and bizarre social habits. initially, she was tiny and awkward with the other two ladies, but she has now become one of the family. she is the noisiest of all of our pets and the most fabulously lovely as well (bar chevy, of course!)

• the show that was filmed last JULY finally aired and it was exciting. it was only an hour-long show that was meant to be a look at the drinking habits of females of all ages but our bit was about twelve minutes long and oh-so-fabulous! i had a lot of air-time due to my being american and having the ability to discuss the difference in drinking habits between here and the states. it was incredibly exciting.
• i was harassed constantly with phrases such as 'hey, aren't you that girl from the telly?!' and 'didn't i see you on t.v. the other night?' to which i always blurted in the most excited manner that i could that i was, indeed the female from telly and they should all fawn after me as i am now famous.
• Satankim returned from Australia with nay a postcard or foreign treat. bitch.
• we celebrated Easter in a very special fashion by having a brilliant easter-basket swap and meal. the meal was bountious and i baked a cake that ended up actually being the greatest carrot cake that has ever been baked or eaten by anybody, ever.
• i got my newest and most loved tattoo of the moment for Jerry.
• we got a new printer/scanner/photocopier which has made it possible for me to FINALLY put all my lists up and print things in colour! be jealous!

MAY!

• i had my very first appointment with my new consultant, dr gillespie. he is a REALLY lovely man who immediatly apologised for the problems i have been having with dr denny and said that it is clear i need help and he is going to give it to me.
• i had an interview as directorate secretary for surgical services at the hospital which went incredibly well but i did not get the job for.
• i went out on a stupendous evening with jaacq, powers, lee lee and everyone else. an evening which was amazing for many reasons.... 1) i LOVE seeing my jaacq! 2) i got to see ali's new band, dulcinea, play for the first time (fabulous!) 3) it was like EVERYONE was out and i just got to prance around and feel normal for a while. overall, it was just the best night in a while. i loved it.

• EUROVISION!
• we got a new video card which has made my life about 800,000,000,000 times better. this is because i can now fully immerse myself in games such as spore (!!!), Sims 2 (PLUS expansion packs), stubbs the zombie and diablo 2 (which isn't really as a result of the video card, we just remembered to download it again)
• i went to see 'drag me to hell' with powers. that film is actually a bag of crap and i have never been so disappointed with a film in my life.
• i started a new anti-depressant. we shall see.
• we got the new fishy!! husband and i had a random outing to a big fish shop near our house and saw a flurry of oscars (a breed we have been lusting after for some time now. the only reason we have avoided getting one until now is because they get HUGE and need a big tank.). we pretty much instantly fell in love and picked the most handsome of the bunch to come live with us. he was put into the old tank and named Chikatilo (after my favourite serial killer)
• we moved into the new building at work. it was a sad day, but the new building is REALLY huge and lovely. i like it a lot!
• i emailed augusten burroughs on the off-chance, to see if he would be willing to write me a list and HE REPLIED!!!

JUNE!!!

• i went to see 'coraline' with powers and lee lee. it was fairly exciting, mostly due to the fact that it was the first 3d film i have ever been to. i wanted to steal the glasses but they had glasses nazis at all exits so at to prevent miscreants like myself from popping them into my bag.
• i had my first appointment with my new CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) who is rather lovely. she says that although it seems it is clear i have depressive problems, i appear to have control over it and knowing when i need to get help and there is not a lot she can do for me. she will keep seeing me for another month and then see where we are.
• we got a new, giant fish tank which has made our lives about a million times better. we have put Chik in it and the giant catfish.
• i have started taking chevy out into the garden with a lead on. he is mostly delighted about it. i am attempting to train him in the art of being well-behaved so i can take him to the park on the lead eventually. husband will have no part of this.

and that's it. my life in a general nutshell.

i PROMISE i will keep you up-to-date more often and better from now on, i PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE!!!!

i heart things and things tuesday!

oh my oh my! not SUCH a huge week worth of hearting things, but i have a few for you...

• I WORK IN AN ASYLUM!! yeah! i do and you don't! i started my new job yesterday at the local asylum and it is just literally the most perfect place ever. it is like, when you see an asylum in the movies with the long, dark corridors and vast grounds for the patients to walk around in, that is where i work!! i had my interview just when i got back from america in april and finally got to start and it is just lovely. i work with all the best people in the world and get to spend my days in an office with a giant bay window and a wrap-around desk all to myself. it is incredibly sad though, because they are tearing all the old buildings down to pave the way for some newer, more 'user friendly' wards and offices... which generally translates to the fact that they are taking away all my foliage friends and creating a more impersonal and frightening place for all the patients to have to live. it is sad firstly because some of the patients have lived there for like, twenty years and they are having their homes ripped down to be replaced by some giant grey buildings. secondly, the old buildings are just so beautiful. i will take some photos so you can see how amazing it is, but mygod. it is just like being in 'girl, interrupted' or 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' when i am at work.
• Rik Mayall. i literally cannot get enough of him at the moment. i am reading his book currently and it is just the funniest thing i have ever read in my entire life. i have been reading a lot about him lately and watching a few of his films and i just cannot imagine a better person to just sit and hang out with. he is so hysterical.
• the dark night OMG!!! i went and saw it last night and OMG OMG OMG!!! like, christian bale was the biggest disappointment ever in the world, as i could not understand a single word his put-on voice was saying, but for fuck's sake heath was ALMOST as good as jack nicholson. the entire film just made me squeal with gleee and if you are not keen on spoilers, do not highlight the following writing! for god's sake how hysterical was it when denton's face lit on fire? literally, one of the only bits where i burst out laughing (which i seem to love to do when it comes to films and laughing inappropriately. it also seemed that the film tried to just have far too many twists and OMG how horrible was the 'love interest' in the film? i am quite delighted she died. just too much went on and how long did the film last?! like three hundred years?! i really suggest you go see it if you want to have a brilliant night out at the cinema. it is totally worth it!

i am sure there are misc, but i just cannae be bothered to type them out. it is time for hollyoaks!!