princess tuesday...

moving.

so.

slowly.

i've woken-up this morning now for the second time. the first was to make my tiny soldier some breakfast and lunch. this time, it's to type-up this blog, dress and try to find my way to the post office to send off two parcels (one for my hairy little graham and the other for tiny molly). i should eat but am upset that i gained a pound.

this second time of waking-up was substantially better than the first (despite the distinct lack of Muffin) because of three things. ONE: an email from miss gorman (of the scottish wonderful duo who i used to be in a band with), TWO: an email from ex-husband saying hello and that he was not dead and THREE: lots of wondrous comments and fings from all my favourite british people.

i woke from my second slumber rather reluctantly after being roused from a dream about ashley and myself. we were aboard a cruise ship for two weeks and walking along the decks of the ship, watching the giant swimming fish and talking about all the things in our heads. she looked so beautiful and happy and i honestly cannot wait to see her and actually be able to touch her face and hug her again. the visits are much too far and few in-between... i think i will use this as a gateway into my list this week.. i heart:

really lovely dreams... if you're retarded and didn't connect the two, please see above.
IHOP
The Eels
the smell of fags and perfume... a thorn in Muffin's side, but one of my favourite things in the world, ever. i don't know why i love it so much, but i goddamn do.
waffles with maple syrup and Cool Whip on
friends that actually get into touch
East Bound and Down... if you've not seen it, goddamn watch it! Muffin's been forcing me for the last several days and i adore it so hard.
Cool Whip
NOT having fleas in the house... Origami's beautiful doggie, Genghis, had fleas and liked to writhe everywhere in the house, apparently, so prior to her moving out, it seems Genghis left as many fleas as he possibly could in as many little crevices and hiding places as he could find. Muffin and i were being eaten alive for the first ten days of my living here... we've since flea-bombed the house and despite there still being a few here and there, which means we have to pull out a can of whoop ass every now and again ("whoop ass" being flea-spray)... who cares though, y'know? most of them are gone and they'll all be gone soon enough and our little lives will be even more perfect than before.
the way EVERYONE loves to talk to me... literally, everyone... to the point where Muffin is contemplating not taking me out anymore. we cannot go a SINGLE place without having someone stop me to ask about my tattoos, accent or hairs. for example, yesterday, we minced into Victoria's Secret to size my tits when, after being taken in the back to remove my clothes, a squeal of delight came from the lady serving me, then a shout to Jessica who called-in a further three people to look at my tattoos and have a questiontime with me that lasted nearly half an hour, leaving poor Muffin amongst the lingerie with his own thoughts and questionable sexuality. i came out and he had THAT face one... the one that instantly tells me that he is jealous that people don't ask him more about HIS tattoos and HIM. i just smiled smugly and touched all the bras i could as we pranced out of the shop.
finding things in America that make me think of my english babies... like a local town called Graham and "Snatch Straps" at a car-boy-place (these things make me think of Graham and Janeyface respectively). it pleases me to no end and makes me miss their tiny faces even more, but also reminds me they are closer than i think... like graham, he's 12.7 miles away.
Padgett
hot wings
ranch dressing
crochetting
a good pair of slippers
our fishy babies... i needed something to care for. i needed some form of baby to love and feed and affectionately name and coo over. it was decided that a puppy would be too risky for the year we're out here as i'd no doubt become far too attached after i found it difficult to leave an Auto Zone after a mere eight minutes with a shop puppy... fish were decided, so Muffin immediately got onto Craigslist and sorted out the tank situation whilst i picked out the perfect fishies in my head... the ones that would go best together in the small tank we were getting. we then went to the fishy shop and i had an hour-long fish-nerd talk with a lady about cichlids and shrimps and sharks, which led to the purchase of a powder blue gourami, three mollies, a rubber-lipped plec and a red-tailed shark (who was Muffin's and was named Steve-Dave. he has since died, presumably due to bad stock from one shop. his death is blamed on me and every time Muffin sees the tank now he scowls at the fact that MY fish are still alive.)
thinking... which i have been doing a lot. i have a lot to process still... life here, people, places, things... my little mind is racing constantly and it really is making me feel good... to finally have the chance to sit with my own thoughts and file them away where they're meant to be is so nice and i'm thankful for this time.
serious talks... i feel it's extremely important for me to tell Muffin everything that's going on in my head... i don't wand him to doubt things and i don't want him to worry, so at the end of most days, i will lie with my head on his chest and tell him about the thoughts going through my mind and what revelations i had had since our last talk. he's being so respectful and receptive and i appreciate him so much. the talks are easier than i thought they would be and the hugs have been tighter than i ever dreamed they could be. he's amazing and i thank him.
fags... yes. quitting in November, then January, then March, then... shut up. i  have a few here and there now, but only with Muffin's permission. it's the only thing i do that i feel genuinely guilty about because i KNOW how much he hates it, but it really isn't easy to quit. i have certainly cut-down massively... like, i'll go several days without one, so i'm getting there with the quitting, but they are just so good... and so much BETTER in america!
pine trees
having a friend in WA... YAYSARAH!
imagining running into Origami somewhere... i actually, literally PRAY when i leave the house that i will see her... not to do or say anything malicious, but just to see her in real life... the same way one would hope to see some sort of wildcat on an expedition... just to see it and make sure it's real. i want to see her, smile at her and walk away, that's all i want.
bikini-cut pants
photo sessions

oh it was fun, fun, fun...

well, i am now in the realm of feeling almost 'normal' despite a few glitches. monday saw me signed off for one more week so we could be sure that i was alright and my medication had settled. my consultant is really, an incredibly fabulous man. he really makes me feel like he is on my side and not trying to just get me through the system as quickly as possible so he can get his paycheck.
this week off has been a bit of fun and a bit of horror all melted into one pot. the horror has just featured the same old mix of husband resenting my problems. i guess it is hard because i feel like he should be the one who i can turn to and get support from when i need it but he has just been tapped and thinks that i should just shut all of this off like a running tap. it is so frustrating because he says he will be patient and once two days have passed with little or no progress he says that i should be all better now, which is just like a 'go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200' was drawn from the pile and i have to wait another two turns before i can start getting better again. i just feel like i can't get the point across clearly enough for him to understand. ho hum!

tuesday we pranced out to the giant fish shop in pinxton again and i was able to continue my love affair with the many stupendous fishies whilst husband picked out bog wood and chose the silver dollars we would be taking home... my adulterous acts proceeded with photos...

mister puffer and i were bff... as soon as i saw him i immediately started making googly faces at him and talking to him in an incredibly high-pitched voice. many people stared.

this is just an unbelievably huge cichlid tank that i fell in love with the first time i saw it... it is full of the most stupendous fishies ever.

and this sting ray, who became immensly excited the instant i came in and started hovvering all over the side of the tank, smiling at me.

we ended up coming home with four silver dollars, five tiger barbs and four orange shrimpies. i am in love with the barbs and shrimps. the shrimps have gone into hiding mode, but the barbs prance wildly for me every time i go into the room.

yesterday was full of delight. as suggested by my consultant, i decided to go spend some time with friends. the friend of choice for the day was powers. i arrived at his door at noon armed with oasis, bourbon creams and more dvds than you could shake a stick at. the day ended up a total success, mostly because we consumed four films, planned some exciting things for johnee scissazazzz and i came away with two electrical appliances, one for destroying and one for replicating in the form of crochet. i like the days we can get together because powers is just a big, fat lovely. he just makes everything calm and i can just sit and do nothing without having to worry about anything. we can talk, or not talk.... it's all okay.

the rest of my days have been full of planning for by birthday party. i am more excited than anything ever about my birthday, mostly because i plan to make it the best quarter-of-a-century birthday party that anybody has ever had. i am being given free reign at a local pub (for no charge!) and with that type of freedom, i plan to take advantage of everything i can. a list of the things i am planning as of today is as follows:

• four bands will be playing, the line-up being alastair (solo!), husband's band, hell death fury (a really stupendous band that is made up of fabulous creatures from chris's home town) and the dust collectors (a local amazingband).
• one freaking hysterical comedy duo
• the most epic cupcakes ever to have come out of my kitchen
• handmade gifts to be given out to 25 lucky guests
• everyone will be in fancy dress

i am just so excited that i start whooping everytime i think about it. it just gets more exciting with each passing day! yay!

that's about it, really.

UPDATED! plus hearting!

well, busy danie certainly is busy! let me tell you about it!

work has been iffy. it has been manic and last week i was on a big rush to get lots of things done because i am off this week. the office will actually fall apart without me there if everything is not perfectly orchestrated, so i had to make a lot of lists and have a lot of meetings to make sure nothing got too out of control in my absence.

i am in the middle of a bit of a depressive episode, which made all of the above fun and joyous for everyone involved.

by the time friday rolled around i ended up snapping at satankim in quite a sassy manner which, initially she said would result in a meeting with her, me and her boss, Judith (who is lovely, extraordinarily quiet and oh-so-beautiful). upon her exit from my office i spent a bit of time weeping and feeling all poopy. satankim than retired to a completely different meeting... i seized this as the perfect time to approach judith and talk to her about how satamkim makes me feel (incredibly small, stupid and like i can never, ever do anything right) and we discussed how i am doing mentally and emotionally overall (NOT well... a big, stinky pile of weepy). she was really lovely and we ended up not having the other meeting.

now i am off and OMG it has been non-stop. the in-laws showed up friday afternoon and, as it had been a while since husband saw them, the obivous script for the evening would feature much drinking which would, in turn, alienate danie. this is because i am absolutely terrified of drinking too much on my new medication. the evening worked out as planned and my weep-fest continued with me on my own in the lounge, luckily. it was nice in some ways because that meant husband had people to entertain him and i had a bit of a break.

saturday featured shopping and general prancing. we just sat around town and i felt it necessary to apologise over and over again to my mother-in-law for how i had been acting. she's a psychiatric nurse, so she knows all about what i am going through from a clinical point of view, so she just shrugged it off.

sunday was a delightful day that saw us go to a giant and somewhat delapitated stately home nearby. it was incredibly beautiful. we walked and walked and walked and i really enjoyed it.

monday rolled around and we were meant to leave for wiltshire as soon as i got out of my doctor's appointment in the afternoon but after a great deal of discussion and teetering back and forth, it was decided that we would stay in derby... this was for several reasons... they can be seen listed as follows:

• we are quite short on money and would thusly be stuck doing VERY cheap or free things.
• chris had had enough of his parents and worried that if we were to go down and spend much more time with them he might kill one of them or himself.
• there was a chance that my doctor's appointment would have resulted in me being put on new medication, which wouldn't have been a great deal of fun in a new house and around lots of new/not-so-familiar people.
• we had a substantial number of fishy deaths which left us worrying for john's sanity in taking care of them whilst we were away.

because we didn't go to wiltshire, i have been able to seize a massive amount of opportunities, which i would have most likely regretted missing out on in the long-run. these include the following:

• my very first PAID cupcake job! one of my friends has asked me to bake 50 cakes for a little party she is having for her chorale group. i has an excited. it all feels very official and like something i want to make sure i keep doing for a very long time.
• i am getting to help one of my friends on a short film today and tomorrow. today was just a short day of waiting around, helping set up the set and stuff, but tomorrow will be MUCH more fun and will involve me arriving at the set for seven in the morning and being the wardrobe girl for the two actors. i will be in charge of making sure their costumes are consistent and perfect at all times. i will be doing this until eight at night and them coming home to sleep for OMGbakingfuntime!
• stuffing liam! our guinea pig died last week and whilst it was a sad loss, i am very excited to have my first chance to attempt taxidermy. yay!
• book my tickets for my next trip to janeytown! **scree**

well, that's it. busy and very emotionally up and down. eh.

a short list of things i heart...

• cat power
• watching the fish
• hollyoaks
• feeling important
• ice in my drink on a hot day
• ice lollies
• doughnuts
• taxidermy
• sleeping in (which i may be able to do again, one day)
• the last video of michael jackson rehearsing
• computer games
• knowing that i can now knit, despite being stupidly slow
• my crocheted phone!
• going through old playhouse wardrobe rooms
• john goncalves
• jarvis cocker

-end-

i heart things and things tuesdays... i heart hearting

so, in a time when being positive is incredibly hard, it is nice to make myself take the time to think about and make myself realise that there are indeed some things in life that i really love, even if i am in the middle of hating most things... the list this week is as follows:

• the fact that we have a fish that sulks like a baby when we clean his tank! chikatilo (to be known as chik from now on) is our newest and most fabulous fish. he is an oscar who was a bit of an impulse buy but has ended up making a beautifuly lovely talking and viewing point in our dining room. all of that is beside the point though. what i am here to talk about is the fact that, as a species, oscars tend to 'play dead' or 'sulk' when they feel frightened. chik is no different. every single time we clean his tank he falls into deep sulk-mode which tends to prompt husband and me to shout to one another 'OMG is he totally dead? should we just throw him in the bin?!' which, of course, is all in jest as we are aware that he is living if only because he still moves his eyes around. sunday when i cleaned the tank was no different, as he immediately 'died.' i thought it would be fun to see what he would do if i covered him in gravel, which led to him just lying there looking as though he had been tucked in for a good night's sleep. he is most definitely the most precious of precious men.
• the fact that husband is building a bike for me! that's right, danie will maybe be mobile in a faster way soon. ever since husband got his new bike he has been harassing me to start riding his old bike which i insist is far too large for me. i am still insistent that it is too large for me but i am being persuaded by the fact that he tossed lots of pots of paint in front of me and demanded i choose what colour i want it. since then he has completely taken the bike apart, sanded, cleaned and painted it. he is, at this very moment outside slathering it in silver paint which will no doubt make the flapper pink-ness of it even better.
• ROSEANNE! so, i have now downloaded every single episode ever of roseanne and have been consuming it in small doses. i will never, ever be able to get over how nostalgic and happy this show makes me. i have been trying to watch it with husband but he really doesn't get it. i suspect this is either due to the fact that he is not american or because his mum was not an exact replica of roseanne.
• the new eels album! which is just the greatest, most special album ever. i mean, how can you not love an album that has a song with lyrics like the following...

The longing is a pain A heavy pressure on my chest It rarely leaves And my day becomes a quest To try not to think about here And all that she brings Forget about her magic All the beautiful things Surely there are other things to life But I can't think of one single thing That matters more Than just to see her Her smile Her touch Her smell Her laugh The longing is a friend A way to stay close And feel like she's here And feel like she knows That when I say I would die for her it's not just words I really would And to make the world a safer place for her Well, I believe I really could Surely there are other things to life But I can't think of one single thing That matters more Than just to see her To see her Her tears Her sorrow Her faults Her doubts

• the fact that i won my very first piece of taxidermy on ebay! yeah, that's right! i won a fabulously stuffed mink that is mounted on a wooden shield. i am more excited than anything ever to receive it and place it on the wall in my lounge.
• the fact that satankim stopped being satan for a short while! true story... since i had to have a couple of days off because of the effects of my medication, satankim was delightfully cautious around me. although it only lasted a couple of days, it was well appreciated. she has since reverted to her satanic ways, but the reprieve was nice.

Honourable Mentions!
Twix, getting letters, taxidermy, polka-dots, motown music, clarissa explains it all, foreign money, ash-beast!, chevy, awful horror films, husband, my lists, when people get excited and start participating in my lists, katy perry, Challis, stretching my ears

Baked and destroyed

well, for the love of god i took long enough to update, didn't i?! for anybody who actually takes the time to read this, i really, honestly do apologise. i promised myself every morning that as soon as i left work that evening i would come and get on the computer to post a blog. obviously, that never happened... but here i am now. has it really been three freaking months?! i actually can't believe it! let's re-cap what has been happening these last few months, shall we?

March

• i generally just slowly bobbed along, trying to make sure i didn't bump into anything that would make my life more horrible than it needed to be.
• i got a letter form Dr Denny in response to my previously posted letter, which generally said i was lying and that he was referring me onto a new consultant. YAY!
• Satankim went off work for a month! her holiday began march 17th and she went to Australia on a holiday she did nothing but complain about for the two months prior to her flight-date. her holiday featured TWO cruises and endless tours all over the land i oh-so-badly want to visit.
• i was introduced to the glorious band that is Andrew Jackson Jihad who as just the most witty, funny, dancy, fabulous band ever! look them up immediately!

April

• Jerryfest FINALLY happened and it featured a massive amount of glorious dancing, prancing and eating.
• i baked 100 cupcakes at the Aga shop for Jerryfest and made everyone happier than they knew it was possible to be.
• had an unexpectedly longer visit from claire and mark due to Ryanair being satan (they got to the airport and checked in then waited for their flight. the boarding call occurred, everyone began boarding and then the flight people just STOPPED boarding with six people left. the flight was not full, they just didn't feel like boarding anymore people, i guess.). so they came back to ours and we pranced for several days in a musical flurry.
• we got a new guinea pig who is a stupendously precious creature who i bought only on a whim when i saw her cowering in the corner of an entirely empty cage. the backstory of her life is as such

once upon a time, there was a tiny princess-like guinea pig born who was yet to be named. she was ginger and incredibly cuddly but she was also the tiniest little guinea pig of the litter. all the other pigs hated her and made fun of her tiny face and her even tinier feet. she just continued to prance and dig in the hay, knowing that one day she would be loved.
-ENTER DANIE- 4:45pm, Pets at Home, Derby, UK

the shop had been open all day, all her brothers and sisters had been sold within a timely manner and an excitable american pranced in and sees her tiny, beautiful red eyes and knows that she must be hers.

and to be honest, that was the end of that story and the beginning of a new one. she is tiny and we called her Chopper... named because of her tiny ears which had been mostly chewed off by her siblings due to her small size and bizarre social habits. initially, she was tiny and awkward with the other two ladies, but she has now become one of the family. she is the noisiest of all of our pets and the most fabulously lovely as well (bar chevy, of course!)

• the show that was filmed last JULY finally aired and it was exciting. it was only an hour-long show that was meant to be a look at the drinking habits of females of all ages but our bit was about twelve minutes long and oh-so-fabulous! i had a lot of air-time due to my being american and having the ability to discuss the difference in drinking habits between here and the states. it was incredibly exciting.
• i was harassed constantly with phrases such as 'hey, aren't you that girl from the telly?!' and 'didn't i see you on t.v. the other night?' to which i always blurted in the most excited manner that i could that i was, indeed the female from telly and they should all fawn after me as i am now famous.
• Satankim returned from Australia with nay a postcard or foreign treat. bitch.
• we celebrated Easter in a very special fashion by having a brilliant easter-basket swap and meal. the meal was bountious and i baked a cake that ended up actually being the greatest carrot cake that has ever been baked or eaten by anybody, ever.
• i got my newest and most loved tattoo of the moment for Jerry.
• we got a new printer/scanner/photocopier which has made it possible for me to FINALLY put all my lists up and print things in colour! be jealous!

MAY!

• i had my very first appointment with my new consultant, dr gillespie. he is a REALLY lovely man who immediatly apologised for the problems i have been having with dr denny and said that it is clear i need help and he is going to give it to me.
• i had an interview as directorate secretary for surgical services at the hospital which went incredibly well but i did not get the job for.
• i went out on a stupendous evening with jaacq, powers, lee lee and everyone else. an evening which was amazing for many reasons.... 1) i LOVE seeing my jaacq! 2) i got to see ali's new band, dulcinea, play for the first time (fabulous!) 3) it was like EVERYONE was out and i just got to prance around and feel normal for a while. overall, it was just the best night in a while. i loved it.

• EUROVISION!
• we got a new video card which has made my life about 800,000,000,000 times better. this is because i can now fully immerse myself in games such as spore (!!!), Sims 2 (PLUS expansion packs), stubbs the zombie and diablo 2 (which isn't really as a result of the video card, we just remembered to download it again)
• i went to see 'drag me to hell' with powers. that film is actually a bag of crap and i have never been so disappointed with a film in my life.
• i started a new anti-depressant. we shall see.
• we got the new fishy!! husband and i had a random outing to a big fish shop near our house and saw a flurry of oscars (a breed we have been lusting after for some time now. the only reason we have avoided getting one until now is because they get HUGE and need a big tank.). we pretty much instantly fell in love and picked the most handsome of the bunch to come live with us. he was put into the old tank and named Chikatilo (after my favourite serial killer)
• we moved into the new building at work. it was a sad day, but the new building is REALLY huge and lovely. i like it a lot!
• i emailed augusten burroughs on the off-chance, to see if he would be willing to write me a list and HE REPLIED!!!

JUNE!!!

• i went to see 'coraline' with powers and lee lee. it was fairly exciting, mostly due to the fact that it was the first 3d film i have ever been to. i wanted to steal the glasses but they had glasses nazis at all exits so at to prevent miscreants like myself from popping them into my bag.
• i had my first appointment with my new CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) who is rather lovely. she says that although it seems it is clear i have depressive problems, i appear to have control over it and knowing when i need to get help and there is not a lot she can do for me. she will keep seeing me for another month and then see where we are.
• we got a new, giant fish tank which has made our lives about a million times better. we have put Chik in it and the giant catfish.
• i have started taking chevy out into the garden with a lead on. he is mostly delighted about it. i am attempting to train him in the art of being well-behaved so i can take him to the park on the lead eventually. husband will have no part of this.

and that's it. my life in a general nutshell.

i PROMISE i will keep you up-to-date more often and better from now on, i PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE!!!!

pining at 87 wpm

Do you hate the last girl you talked to?
ohhh... the last girl i talked to in real life was the lady who owns the shop around the corner and i find it impossible to hate an old pakistani woman with a disabled child.

When is the last time you took a nap?
thursday whilst chris was playing with lester. i laid and napped whilst spirited away occurred.


Do you only drink bottled water?
nah. only idiot faggots do that.

What are you listening to right now?
ohhh... i SHOULD be listening to music, hang on. i will put something on and tell you. 'harmonica in f' by ben's brother.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
husband, just about ten minutes ago to ask when the cooking dem was on so i knew when i had to depart into town for eating and learning to cook.


What's on your mind most today?
getting my hairs done tomorrow. i am SO unbelievably excited!


Something that happened today that made you angry?
ohhh... nothing so far. i am quite a delighted little creature.


Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
i talk about them constantly. i never, ever, EVER hide my feelings.


Do you wear makeup?
i have my moments. i might pop a little bit on today.

Are you missing someone?
i am pining for jane and theo at the moment.


Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
everyone deserves a second chance... a third, seventh and tenth? no fucking way.


Would you date/hook up with your brothers best friend?
i has nay brother. and wouldn't anyway, as i heart husband.

What color is your hair?
blond and pink... but only for another twenty-six hours.


Where was the last place you hugged?
bed.

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
husband. i mumbled some phrases at him this morning.


What do you want most right now?
a cola.


Are you happy right now?
quite delighted, yes. i want to make sure husband is happier, which will make me even happier.


Is your phone right beside you?
it is indeed.

Are you cold?
the bits of skin who are rebelling from my tee shirt are a bit chilly.


What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
hair!, 4th of july bbq'ing, abseiling, jen and karl coming to visit, starting my new job, trying for baby, gem and mel's wedding, gem's hen night. seeing the sea for REAL! i am just generally looking forward to living.


First thing you do when you wake up?
flick on the computer.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
two minutes max.

What does your friend call you?
which friend? people mostly call me danie but i am trying to bring 'dan' into the equation. i'll let you know how THAT turns out.


Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing?
thunderstorm like woah! i miss them so much.


Who do you call the most?
husband.


What is your pet's name?
ready? chevy chase (rabbit), Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Half-Cast (goldfish), eileen (catfish), the manson family (shrimps), jeffrey (shark), camilla (loach), unnammed (about thirty other fish), tom jones, roseanne, scat, nipsy, liam (guinea pigs) and the unnamed albino giant african land snail. good LORD that is a lot of pets!


What were you doing 4 hours ago?
hasing an sleep.

Are you that good at math?
reasonably.


What do you get complimented on the most?
what a weird life i lead... i take that as a compliment as the things people find 'weird' about me are like, we shop cheaply, have a lot of pets, were in a band, etc.


Do/did you listen to your parents?
i did mostly.


Have you ever gone to a concert?
HAVE I?! of course i have! several! hooray for gogol!


Are you good at keeping secrets?
secrets don't make friends. i will not say anything until the person who it is being kept from asks me directly. then i dish like a steak din din.


What did you do today?
so far? had teh amazing cuddle with husband, had a lie in, texted theo, turned on computer, stroked chevy, scowled at the rain outside my window, heated up the kebab from last night, commenced eating said kebab, checked emails, read dailyom, had a wee, filled up my water bottle, rang husband, started this.

What kind of tattoos do you want/have?
omg. i have a lot of splendid tattoos... a lifelike t-rex, a t-rex nephew drew when he was seven, two guinea pigs, some dotwork, some arabic writing, a jar of human bits, a rubber duckie, a long quote, the hula, a bunny creature jane did, a star boy, a tree with an owl and some stars. i heart tattoos.

Do you love someone more than words can say?
i do indeed. a lot of someone's.

How many showers have you taken today?
not uno.

Do you drink soda?
i do love cola more than anything but i am trying to cut down.


Have you talked mean about anyone today?
nay.


Can you remember your last dream?
nah.

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
i am married to him!

Suppose you see your boy/girl friend kissing another person, what would you do?
flip the fuck out.


What is bothering you right now?
my foot is asleep and it is playing the most painful waking up game ever.


Can you type over 60 words per minute?
oh yes... 87 wpm biotches!


Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
tokyo. i would actually die to go to tokyo.

Who else is in the room with you?
the goldfish.


Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
yeah. cock-face.


Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
yeah. i don't see why not.