Thursday, 5 February 2004

**is empty**

eh, i am going to miss ashley so much. she is the most wonderful person ever and i do not know what i am going to do without her. i am facing all of these obstacles with my life right now and i sometimes feel like i am facing them all alone... but then i lay in my bed and see the picture of ashley and me and become pleased because i know that i have this one person, that i know of, that loves me unconditionally... even when she cannot be there. and i am going to go on this huge adventure soon that will not involve an ashley... it will involve a danie and a new part of her life... and that scares the hell out of me. i will think of her every second while i am learning about this brand new thing occuring in my heart. this thing that i am so afraid of sometimes.... this thing that hurts like wild sometimes. and i know that at home, i will have this beast waiting for me that i can come and cry to and love and be loved back by. i love you ashley. i miss you when you have to be a child and go to school and i have to be an adult and go on trips and be in love. nobody will understand what you and i have, you are absolutely right! nobody will understand hating remakes of lovely cartoons and biting germans on the leg at one in the morning... nobody will understand what it is to be a fool that has no meaning and tipping my glass to nobody but you. i heart you my dear... with every bit of my body and soul... **blows kisses**


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