this tuesday... THIS TUESDAY!

i know it's early, but i know if i don't do it now, i will never, ever do it. the last week could be compared to a cake. a fabulous cake made of magnificence, win and glory sprinkled only lightly with a little morose.

the week saw me go out for a night out that ended up being unbelievably wonderful, saw me finalize all plans birthday-related and saw me attend my first official day at the Resource Centre Day Hospital.

a full and concise list of things i have hearted over the last week can be seen below...

• seeing things i've sent to someone arrive to them safely... one of the three parcels i sent to Him arrived safely into his arms today. luckily, it was the BEST of the three parcels. it contained the wee creatures i made and a special 'letter' i embroidered onto a piece of felt (yeah, i did the lines and EVERYTHING). it is just like... this little thing has brought us even closer if that's possible. i held these items in my hands a mere twelve days ago and now he has them. i was kissing the nose of that giraffe twelve days ago and now i can watch HIM kiss his nose. He cried and i fell in love all over again. He is just such a precious face and it makes me so happy to see that something i do can make someone THAT happy. (SIDE NOTE: the reason He seems to be smelling things a lot is because i infused things with the scent of danie so's He could associate me with another one of his senses.)

• nights out... very rarely does a night out go as planned... very rarely does a night out actually end up being as glorious as you originally plan for them to. this last saturday was a massive exception to this rule. i had planned this saturday with slight hesitation, given the fail most of the nights out i've had recently have been made of. i went out with a cautious head, determined to at least get a little tipsy and cuddle pow pow's face off. my arrival saw me cuddle many, MANY faces off and prance a great deal with chris tree (of the most youthful face in the world and amazing musical skills) and see many faces i didn't expect i'd see ever again. pow pow was off his face most of the night but he still gave me amazing cuddles and performed amazingly well. given that i had nothing in my belly, i was VERY concerned about drinking, but somehow, by midnight-thirty, i had eleven rum and cokes in me and felt amazing. after multiple photo sessions with multiple beautyfaces i decided to cut my losses and run. the night was amazing and i can't even describe how much fun i had. thanks to everyone. it was perfect and just what this divorcee needed.

• watching pow pow perform... granted, i love watching ALL people perform, pow pow is always at the top of my list. he pulls some amazing faces when he sings. saturday saw me watching one of his newer bands, hot japanese girl, play. it was my first time seeing them and i was immediately judgmental when i saw him arrive with a ridiculous amount of face paint on. i am a floozy for acoustic music and ali's voice when he is only accompanied by a guitar has the ability to make me weak in the knees, but this... there are no words. they were fabulous. the energy that ali puts into his music is just so intense. it makes me SO happy to see him in his element. 
• gogol bordello... oh yes, i have fallen in love with them again, in a big way.  it all started last thursday when they posted some photos from their most recent gigs and i couldn't help but re-hash that love affair via youtube. i watched loads of acoustic sets they did for a show and totally remembered why i fell in love with that big-nosed, blue-eyed beauty named hutz. they are such an amazing band. i can't get enough of them and NEED to see them like, now. 

• my beautiful lee lee... mmm, sunday saw the return of my lee lee for a flying visit due to some magical scheduling at his shop. i was the only individual a privvy to this confidential information and was therefore designated as the orchestrator of people so many deaths-by-glee could occur. i pranced into town sunday morning to meet him and perched at a table at our allocated meeting-spot. i was soon drawn to a whistle stage-right where i was greeted by the most beautiful of little faces. i didn't realize how much i missed him until i saw him and immediately felt the need to grab him and hold him forever. he smelled just like i remembered and during our walk to hannah's i kept having to stop and grab him and squeeze him. he is so beautiful and one of the creatures i will miss most when i move back across the pond.
• OMGMYBIRTHDAY... oh yes, in a mere five days danie will be celebrating her twenty-fifth year on the planet. i am very aware that this MAY be my last celebration in england for a while, so i plan to make it massive and perfect. all things have been arranged and creatures will begin arriving on thursday, which i am SO looking forward to. it will be a stupendous night and MANY photos will occur. OMGSOMANYPHOTOS!

other things, you ask? oh yes, there are some... please has them!
having a really long and restful sleep, grape soda, lindt lindor truffles, valium, looking at other people's journals, making money doing what i love, maral, reading through all my lists, danishchats, writing up itemized lists, the magnetic fields, cinnamon and sultana bagels with cream cheese on, trying out new cupcake recipes, the skill with which i can crochet, re-connecting with old friends, looking at old photographs, the smell of clean laundry, watching people paint, when i'm able to eat without feeling ill, tandem bicycles, meeting new people and really connecting with them, rob padley, girls with shaved heads, how amazingly wonderful and supportive danish is, when time passes really quickly, skirts that fall below the knees, tights with excellent prints on them, eccentric old women, scottish accents, pulling funny faces, danish videos, chicken sushi, alastair's handwriting, the smell of lush, wellies and mustangs.

so yes, i started the day hospital today. i went in not really knowing what to expect but thinking i had an idea of what MIGHT occur there. hey, i've been in treatment, i know all about groups and all that malarkey... but i must say, no amount of groups could have prepared me for the fail that this day hospital is made of. it was just... it seems to be a place that was created for people that are suffering from much more debilitating mental health problems than me. the people that were there were just so out of it. i arrived an hour early and sat and read... someone came and gave me a tour of the day area and i sat and read some more.

once the day officially began it was just... i don't even know how to describe it. just... i don't know. i participated in two groups today, the first being 'health and wellbeing,' which saw about eight of us sat around a table tasting various different fruits and discussing their texture, colour, flavour and price. danie, being the very worldly and self-aware girl she is, was able to discuss all the fruits in great detail, which left everyone staring at me like i had two heads...

it was like, 'o hai! i has blue hairs, massive holes in my ears and will talk excitedly and at-length about any topic you can throw at me!'

so yes, needless to say, i got stared at a lot by the other inhabitants of the group who were really not well and therefore did not want to participate in the groups.

i just want someplace i can go and actually talk about stuff. i don't want to sit around and do arts and crafts or eat fruit... i want to talk and work through my problems. i am aware i have them and want them to stop. i want to learn how to get through them, not learn ways i can ignore them.

i shall give it another day or two and then ring my consultant and tell him what i reckon. who knows, perhaps tomorrow will surprise me and will be really helpful. i'm not holding my breath though.

big gay weddings and a small amount of disappointment.

a list of things that i did for gem and mel for the wedding?

• made the bouquet of wonder and flowers for bridesmaids to wear.
• cared for their dog in a hotel across the city because theirs apparently does not like dogs (and as a result, was kept up all night the first night due to his incessant groin chewing and leg licking).
• planned the hen night of delight.
• gave up my house and my husband's cooking skills for the hen night so all the ladies had a place to convene, eat a big fat curry, make themselves pretty and suitably inebriated.
• planned and organised the wedding cake of glory to be as they did not have a wedding cake and it is just NOT RIGHT for someone to not have cake on their wedding day!
• went to numerous dress fittings and took photos to help the beautiful gem be sure that the dress was absolutely perfect.
• left work early several times to meet up to discuss wedding-related things.
• made countless phone calls to make sure everything was just right. (this included people bringing things for the hen night, wedding and for the BBC to send flowers to their room on their wedding day)
• spent more money than i ever should have for food and decorations.
• was the only reason that gem had bridesmaids, as she did not even think to have any until i mentioned it.
• was NOT asked to be an official witness to their wedding.

should i be pissy about it? no, most likely not, but it still feels like a bit of a slap in the face because i REALLY put a lot into this. this wedding stressed me out more than my own wedding did and at the end, when the officiator came out to prepare the witnesses for the ceremony, he called sarah up instead of me.
i am not saying i regret doing the things i did for them, and perhaps it is a wee bit petty for me to be upset about it but it just feels like perhaps that would have been the ultimate thank you for someone who threw their entire life out of whack to make sure your wedding and hen night was as perfect as physically possible. am i just being stupid? when i say it out loud i feel like i am just being a big fat stupid face but mygod, i am only human.

**************************************************************************

anyways, all that aside, the wedding and the entire holiday was flipping brilliant. in fact, if i do say so myself, the entire week has been perfect.

it all started last friday when i left work in a big fat hurry to ensure i was home in time to get all the shopping done for the hen night. i tidied like i never have in my life, got all the decorations i could ever need and made all the final phone calls.

saturday was a day of OMG TEH STRESS!! husband was still in a whirlwind of unsure-ed-ness about whether or not he wanted to even come home and help cook. i was running around tidying and answering the almost-constant phone calls from the BBC, trying to figure out when they were arriving. when they finally arrived, it all calmed. i was able to just sit and relax. they helped decorate and we discussed the differences between drinking here in england and america. the crew were amazing. i really enjoyed talking to them.

once everyone arrived i was able to really just chill out. i LOVE playing the hostess and i can say that there is no more satisfaction than pouring your first drink for a guest of the night and watching everyone sit in the garden eating a meal lovingly prepared by your husband...

it went a little like this...

we ate and pranced... once we were finished and we have performed a suitable amount of talking, we then proceeded to take a group photo and run away to another pub of which i am not such a huge fan. it turned out amazing though because SO MANY splendid people turned up.
we were obviously followed by the three from the filming crew for the entire night, but it was so totally fun. cherry, who is in the red top to the right there. she was just like, the funnest person ever. her and i had many a lovely talk that night.

the film crew made a quick stop over to the stag's night just so they could see how much less they are enjoying themselves and we moved on to another pub which sucked balls.


upon arriving, the landlord was incredibly inebriated and therefore the most awkward person on the planet. he decided he would short change husband a pound and when husband mentioned it the guy said that he could make something of it and if he did, he would bar him from the pub. yeah. apparently, he rolls like that. after that incident we decided to finish our drinks off and run away to the next pub where we were to meet the stags.


OMG was this place glorious. i hadn't been there in over a year and since then it had been turned into a gaybar which i had been a bit leery about because it was like, the most heterosexual bar ever in the world before. WELL! let me just say, it was the most fabulous place ever on the planet. and i shall show you!



and OMG the wedding was incredible. i really had a brilliant time in brighton. it was my first time REALLY seeing the sea and i couldn't have imagined it to have been any better.

i am just going to post loads of photos now, as i am completely exhausted.












overall, it was just splendid because i was at at the sea and husband was there and i got to share a really special event with some very close friends. i really, really loved these last few days. they were something i will remember forever. hooray!

i heart things and things tuesday (late)

this has been a week of hearting OH so many things!

CHEVY CHASE- the rabbit. he is just so beautiful and lovely and soft and i just want to queeze the little life out of him when i am holding him. i actually used to have a friend and when she saw a rabbit she would talk about how much she wanted to put it in her mouth and i always thought she was incredibly strange. now though, i can totally see what she meant. it is a strange compulsion. i just feel the intense need to put chevy in my mouth. and not just chevy either, any wee furry creatures. i saw a lady in town with a 10 week old puppy and i almost died and my mouth just started watering. it sounds really strange, but apparantly, the need to put something in your mouth relates to a lot of animals who protect their babies and keep them warm inside of their mouths. it is a bit of a mothering instinct, i guess.

AMERICA- the country, flag and food. i am particularly delighted with my mother country at the moment due to the fact that a big fat partay has been in the works for this friday. the butchers are going to be hosting a splendid little american independence day partay for which i am baking cinnamon rolls, an american flag cake (WITH blueberries and strawberries), making cheesecake AND devilled eggs. i have printed out approximately 200 american flags which i will be displaying all over my house along with a few copies of the declaration of independence. the excitement is unsurmountable.

1950's fashion- and the fact that i am TOTALLY decked out to the nines in said fashion today! i have on a beautiful and original dress with a thin petticote and my bowling shoes.

also on the list of things i heart this week are:

• the fact that friends the movie is in production!! hooray for a 'sex in the city' for danie!!
• sassy mugs
• reading very old blog entries and being pleased about how far i have come
• kate nash
• Sympathy for Mr Vengance
• potted beef

oh the hair that you weave

oh the last week has been exciting and full of lots of things to keep a girl preoccupied. not that i have anything i need to preoccupy myself to avoid... i actually realised this morning that i am preoccupying myself far TOO much. there have been some reasonably important things going and coming up in my life that i have just been too distracted to notice.

take, for instance the fact that the fabulous gem, of the darlings... she and her 'sig-oh' are getting married soon and i am to be a bridesmade AND official hula wrangler(HOO*LAH-WRA*NG*LER: individual denoted with the responsability of taking care of the precious french bulldog that is hula... aka tulamond, pig, toot, piggarie.) now, the fact that they are getting married is not the only important factor here... there are also factors of if husband will get the time off work, how we will get down to brighton, how much money we must save for the wedding and the oh-so-important, WHAT WILL I WEAR?!

i came to realise, after having a long, hard think, that because this is going to be the wedding/event/partay of the year, it is important to look absolutely perfect, whilst NOT out-shining the bride (who will be looking fabulous, by the way!). now, because this will be a 50's themed wedding, i searched and searched for a dress that would offer me the just perfect amount of cute and sassy whilst NOT overstepping the 'fabulous' line. when i realised it would be wholely impossible to rely on the fashion availability of etsy, ebay and vintagejunkie.com, i decided i would have to take matters into my own hands and make my own dress...

and so it begins... i printed out and taped together all the bits and pieces of the pattern last night and have been left with this:





i am excited that i will hopefully be making a dress all by myself that i will be able to love and beam about when people ask me where i got it. i plan to cut the fabric out tonight so i am ready for sewing maching party time with vic tomorrow. hooray!

now, one would think that the above would be enough to deal with when it came to preparedness for a wedding but oh no! i have also been given the job of planning and maintaining the hen night. OMGWTF!? i had almost forgotten about it until my arch rival in the post-wedding party arrangement contacted me via email to advise me that her STAG-DO would be better than MY fabulous hen night... AS IF!! since then, i have been planning like a big giant planning bee for the best night gem and all the other hens that will be attending could ever ask for. everyone will die.

alongside all of that, i have also been planning to get some special extensions placed methodically into my hairs. they will be like this....



but insanely sexier and thinner, as i have picked not only the best colour and wool, but also the best person ever in the world to do it. my wool is being dyed as i type and i should hopefully have longer 'hair' by the end of next week! hooray!