Tuesday, 3 November 2009

you know that i love you and i would build a fort to protect you from the wind...

hrm. tuesday again, hey? this last week has gone by noticeably slow. the impact of the divorce has hit me quite hard and i am doubled-over by a metaphorical punch in the emotional stomach. halloween was horrific. the day itself was made of win... but otherwise the week has been made of fail. i shall now attempt to list the things i heart.

  • receiving flowers... for the first time in my life, i had flowers delivered to my door. halloween saw me waking up at half eight in the morning, this was as a result of a gentleman knocking at our door to deliver some flowers to a danie. our conversation was made of delight. HIM: 'i have a delivery for a Dan Honeybun.' ME: 'oh yes, that's right.' HIM: 'will you actually be signing for it as that?' ME: 'why yes?' **signature** the delivery was very quickly followed by a phone call from iraq where much glee'ing occurred. He had been promising me a death via glee through most of the week and it was true, there was a brief death... roses and lilies are a danie's favourite combination. i loves Him so mucho. 
  • really lovely IM chats... oh yes, most of my time lately is consumed by chatting with Him on Yahoo!oe particular gem can be seen below...

Him: I miss you so dearly
starbeast: i miss you too baby
Him: you have no idea
starbeast: so give me one
Him: give you an idea/
Him: ?
Him: when we're "roomates" I will be coming home to a nicely cooked dinner by yourself
starbeast: yes you will
Him: and I'll love eating your food and you'll love watching me enjoy your meal that you slaved over
Him: and after dinner and a chat
starbeast: i will
Him: and then we'll go to the living room
Him: sit on the couch
Him: we'll put our feet in matching foot spas
Him: and watch TV
Him: and talk about the world and our days and how in love we are
Him: and then we'll have a hug-o-war
Him: which I'll win
Him: and from there we'll watch some funny shows that we enjoy and talk about our secrets and dreams
Him: Then we'll each write lists of stuff that we choose at the time and share them with each other
Him: and then I'll dry your feet off for you
Him: and I'll give you a foot massage
Him: a very amazing foot massage
Him: and I'll kiss each little piggy
Him: and I'll give you 10 reasons that I love you
Him: one for each little piggy
starbeast: i love you
Him: and they will be different every night
Him: I love you too
Him: then it will be time for one of your amazing deserts
Him: and we'll go into the kitchen hand in hand
Him: and skipping hopefully
Him: and our little weiner dog will be right behind us
Him: yapping
Him: and we'll give him a treat
Him: and we'll grab some amazing desert and eat it right there in the kitchen
Him: and we'll mmmmm and ahhhhhh
Him: and yummy
Him: and we'll kiss afterwards
starbeast: that sounds so nice
Him: and we'll take a shower and clean each other right up
Him: and you'll get my back because I can't reach it anymore since my back surgery
Him: and I LOVE people washing my back
Him: and from there
Him: I'll clean you
Him: I love shampooing hair
Him: and massaging scalps
Him: then we'll get into our jammies
Him: and I'll most likely grab my guitar
Him: and play you an improvised song
Him: and sing sweet nothings your way
Him: and then you'll eventually start snuggling me too hard to even play
Him: so I'll put it down
Him: and we'll be perfect together until we fall asleep and we'll be even more perfect at that point
Him: and we'll have sweet dreams about the next day's adventures
Him: how's that for an idea?

  • crocheting... so, danie has started creating again and creating with a vengeance! i had promised that i would have 25 presents to give out to 25 guests, and what is more special than multiple hand-made creatures? at this point i have completed several pairs of animal ears, a sausage dog and half a giant centipede. oh the squeals of delight that will be had! 
  • feigning dramatic displays of emotion in public... oh yes. danie is the best at this. an example was when i went to the shop to get some tobacco and filters. the shop in question has only JUST run out of danie filters, so, in response, i threw my head back and my arms in the air and let out a massive groan, much like a child who had realized the candy shop was out of their favourite sweet would. my display was very warmly welcomed and... well... it's just fun. try it. 
  • hannah... there are just no words for how much i love this girl. she is just such a beautiful, wonderful, inspirational person. she has helped me so much and i just can't get enough of her cuddles. 
  • imagining what it will be like to see Him in person again... there is just no way to describe what i imagine it will be like. with each passing day our meeting-date draws closer and i don't think there is anything i will be able to do to prepare for it... i love musing with people about it... what it will be like to actually be occupying the same space as Him again. what it will be like to smell His skin and feel His arms. jesus... seven years is just TOO long... our latest musing occurred last night... it was wondrous:

Him: I am giving you a great night guarantee
starbeast: and what will this 'great night' entail?
Him: hmmmm
Him: well it will involve me arriving in England
Him: and holding you in my arms as much as you hold me in yours
Him: and showing you my huge smiles that will be right under my huge nose
Him: and I will be squeezing you with all my squeezing muscles
Him: and you'll be doing the same
Him: and though you don't like to be picked up
Him: I will be picking you up and kissing you so much
Him: and loving on you non stop
Him: The most important thing is that our loves will be together
Him: after being strayed and lost for such a long time
starbeast: mmm
starbeast: indeed
Him: they will be right there on track once again
Him: and we won't know what to say
Him: because words can't be defined in moments like that

  • planning my next tattoos... oh yes, more tattoos WILL be occurring when my beautiful janey arrives. i am in the process of planning them in a big way. i don't know how many she will want to do, but i have several options for her... they will be glorious and made of win. 
 other things danie hearts... 
smoking fags, preparing for interviews, oreos, the smell of lilies, reading old journals, when i get a really good night's sleep, jelly sweets, carmex, penmanship, cat power, the fact that my birthday is a mere 11 days away, the fact that i have found and purchased THE dress for my birthday, shelby (His war friend and my new bff **squee**), anticipating the arrival of parcels, milk, dexter, desperate housewives, OMG eugene's sexy face! etc, etc....


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