Day 12 - A photo of you and your best friend(s).

these six, they are the people i feel closest to. the people that no matter the distance, no matter how rarely we speak, they are the people i love with a huge heart and who i feel love me back. i have the most beautiful people in my life. for that i am unbelievably grateful.

82001

fifteen days i've been back... the longest i've been in this postal code since 2003.

i'm back and it has been a flurry of excitement, emotion and hugs.

my emotions have been on overdrive, primarily due to my stupid womb and secondarily, because i am back here and i don't have to rush around to see everyone... i can pace myself and plan playdates without a mega-rush on things because i still have another two weeks here.

from the moment i arrived back in the Mountain Standard time-zone my chest felt tight... i walked out of the terminal a completely different person than the girl who left that April afternoon back in 2008... no longer married, at least twenty more tattoos, pink coiff, less weight.
i braced myself for the first gaze my sister would cast upon me. i walked around the airport terrified and recalling the conversation she and i had had only fifteen hours prior when i asked her if she knew what i looked like and what to keep an eye out for at the airport (as it is obvious that it would be hard to spot ME in a crowd). she laughed and said that she had an idea and that she wanted to make sure she looked as normal as possible because everyone would be staring at us and she didn't want to have a wedgie or shit in her teeth whilst we were the centre of the DIA world.

i stood as everyone was greeted by family and friends.

i stood whilst everyone picked up their luggage from the carousel.

i stood, momentarily concerned that LaDonna had forgotten about me and that the airline had forgotten about me and i was doomed to sit in that airport for the entire four weeks until i could go home.

then i saw them. LaDonna and Heyward (her husband and delightful creature) came through the double doors and smiled.

the rest of the evening was spent talking about my travels, my divorce and Muffin. we ate steak and i snoozed slightly in between singing along to the seemingly flawless DJing on the late-night radio station we were listening to.

in the time since then i have seen many special faces, ones i've not seen in years or ones i've never met before but wanted to. ones that i hope i get to see more before i move back across the ocean. Ashley, Justin, Beeman, Stevie, Jamie... tonight, my evening will be starring Scotty, Emma and Jaimal, which thrills me more than most things. i've been attempting to envelope myself in memories, places and things.

two days after arriving i went walking by myself and strolled by my old house, the street i learned to ride a bike on and the places i used to work. i walked and remembered everything... all the little tiny things that built up my childhood and teenage years.

Muffin has come and gone since i've been back. he left Monday and we spent the four days we had together re-living the memories of eight years ago. it was our first time together again in Cheyenne, something we've both been attempting to orchestrate, since our last playdate back in 2002.

we walked past the road where we had our first kiss, stopping to hold hands and remember the way the mustang hummed as he leaned over to give me the first of a billion. we walked to the place we very first met and held one another, recalling the clothes we were wearing and what we thought when we first saw one another. he drunkenly walked with me past my old house again... a late-night walk that left my emotions raw, but made me realize how close we are. we walked to the back of the house and recalled where he used to sneak in and i pointed out which rooms were which before weeping slightly and having him take me into a massive bear hug and walk me the rest of the way back to LaDonna's house.

sometimes even now it all seems so foreign to me... i'll see his face and it'll take me back to that July in 2001 when we first started dating. when i walked into the McDonald's where he was employed and he made excuses to come to the front of the store to talk to me. i still can't believe it's real occasionally.

so many things have changed... marriages, tattoos, oceans, wars, deaths, children.

i saw one of his children for the first time ever on sunday. something i hadn't anticipated but something i am happy happened. i was frozen with terror when i saw an exact carbon copy of Muffin rolling towards the car on his scooter as Muffin got out and walked to that log-adorned house. i didn't know what to do or say. LaDonna asked me what was up as we pulled away and i poured out my heart... i poured it all over her and her car and the street and the beautiful blue day. i talked about the kids and the fate of my womb and our history and future and everything. she was unbelievably supportive and made me feel like i was going to be okay. she told me that if we were meant to have kids then we would.

it was with that that i realized that all the fears i had surrounding LaDonna hating him were not going to come to fruition. all that worrying and fretting was completely in vain. she seemed to like him. we talked about Muffin during the rest of our shopping excursion and until we pulled back up to the house to retrieve him. i watched as Ryu hugged him and i braced myself to freak out but i didn't. all i wanted to do was get out of the car and hug Muffin because i could see, as he walked away from his middle child, that his heart was sore.

we got home and laid in bed to have the conversation that was bound to happen... about his kids and us and how i felt. he cried and i held him, feeling okay, which is not what i expected. i just held him and we talked about the kids and how i felt about seeing Ryu and what we would do the rest of the day. it was really okay and despite the initial terror i felt, i reckon i will be okay. the next big hurdle will be Molly in December, and i reckon that'll be slightly harder... no, astronomically harder, but worth it. he tries so often to shelter me from his children and i really don't need that. i need to know they're there and make my peace with that fact, otherwise this, him and me, we won't work. i can't ignore it.

anyways, back to 82001.

i'm here and i'm going through a massive internal scrapbook that has built-up countless entries since the day i was born... i've gone through hundreds of photos, at least a dozen of my mum's boxes and the last of my belongings that were left here when i moved away. it's been a special trip and one that i absolutely needed.

thank you Cheyenne, for the memories. let's be sure to do this again.

OMGTUESDAYOMG!

The last week I have been tired…  I’ve been busy and tired. Did I even do a list last Tuesday? I did, didn’t i? It was boring and not full of much. just a basic list… well, this week I NEED to focus on the lovely, so I will be doing a fabulous list and it will blow minds, end wars and perhaps, MAYBE be the reason my life is made into a made-for-TV-movie (purely because it is OBVIOUS that some amazing, budding film director will see this blog, see the list I am about to do, become SO enthralled by my life and the way I live it that he will have to contact me and when he meets me he will fall desperately in love with me and in a bid to spend as much time with me as possible and potentially make me fall in love with him, he will follow me around for a year and document my life, making it into a film and making me an international star… I’m just saying… it COULD happen)
My week, despite me being slightly down has made my life worth living… I’ve had a stupendous amount of magical little things happen that have made the days perfect. The list of these things can be seen… NOW!

Nick Parker… number one this week for SO many reasons, the most important being that I think I actually fell in love with him in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I’m sure my heart actually skipped a beat whilst busting out some moves to some random R’n’B song at a club (no, I do NOT know the lyrics and NO I am NOT a closet R’n’B princess, shut up) . The smoke machine’s emissions had cleared just enough for me to be able to breathe a normal amount and the harsh, hot pink neon lights shone on his beautiful dancing face in the perfect way for me to fall madly in love with being there at that specific moment in that specific place with him. 

The evening had started with some reluctant drinks at Nick’s pub (see: Bar One, the best pub in the world)… I was tired, cranky and insecure about the fact that I was debuting a dress that had never seen the light of day (despite the fact that it’s been living in my house amongst all my OTHER clothes for nearly seven months), but that I HAD to test out to see if it would be acceptable to wear to a gig on Friday (the general consensus for the dress was excellent, btw. My bosoms were heaving and people were drooling, it was made of win… I’ll most likely NOT wear it out again though) after a few glasses of Sailor Jerry I was happy to get up and belt out a rendition of “That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania (which has since left me with the name amongst the Bar One crew of Shania Twat… fanks guise!).
The whole night was peppered with me harassing Nick, Amy and Franny about whether or not they’d be prancing along to a club around the corner called Curzon’s. I was aware that they regularly went and I had never BEEN ‘clubbing’ as it were, so I was desperate and drunk enough to be excited about going to what I had pictured in my head as a ritzy gay-filled club for some dancing, cocktails and general closeness with some of what I could only imagine would be derby’s most BEAUTIFUL gays (oh how WRONG I was).
Until the clock struck three I bounced around in general excitement, squeeing regularly at Nick about how pumped I was. The squees were sprinkled around a ‘hair-off’ between Nick and myself which saw us getting our hair out (I just realized this sounds odd, we were both wearing hats) and making it as big as possible. The norm for us when I am visiting his humble establishment is for us to fondle our glasses in a sassy way together and muse about what outrageous outfit he plans to wear when Muffin and I marry in Vegas (the current and most consistent contender being a flesh-coloured leotard. EDIT: after a talk with Nick just now, the outfit has been singled down to a hat resembling a cow’s head and a powder-blue suit. He says this is finite and THE outfit… we’ll see).
When we were finally released to the streets and had pranced around the corner to the club Nick clutched me and made it clear he was going to be my keeper for the duration of our stay there. he riddled me with rum and coke and we danced… oh how we danced. After about ten minutes of dancing in our little circle consisting of, in order, Franny, Ferret, Amy, Nick and myself, I found my mind wondering into a place that allowed me to take everything in with perfect clarity… the switch that flicked this wondering was watching Nick dancing. He started busting a particularly hysterical move and I had to actually stop dancing so as to help myself memorize that moment and to remember that this life that I have, it is perfect and that perfection is all because of people like Nick Parker. I watched him dance for thirty-six seconds (yes, I love numbers and I counted) and fell in love with him.  I fell in love with the way he carries himself, the way he dances, his face, his arms, his hat, the way he talks and the way we can have a laugh at everything in the world… he is a magically beautiful creature and I am so, so thankful that I have had the opportunity to have bonded with him as much as I have over the last couple of months. I am madly in love with every single second that I get to spend being sassy and crude with him and I hate the fact that he and I did not start this bonding process sooner… he is a wonderful person and I can’t WAIT for all my favourite american creatures to meet him and fall just as madly in love with him as I have. 

Pow… oh yes, the big squishy-face. I have a particularly large crush on him at the moment due to the fact that I will get a SUPER concentrated amount of time with him in the nine weeks prior to my leaving. This is due to the fact that since RetardStacey moved out I trust no one. I’ve met with five people about them moving in with me and I just don’t trust them… some of them with just cause, one of them because they just looked and talked FAR too much like RetardStacey for me to be comfortable living with her. Wait, let me go back… Pow has been the one person to make me cry more than anyone else has this last week (which Nick says isn’t hard and that the phrase “don’t cry over spilled milk” was most likely written about and for me). I cried out of anger for him being so retarded and messing up some very important dates (which makes me love him more than anything else because, despite the initial anger-to-tears, he teaches me about patience and I need that from time-to-time… NOBODY tries my patience like Alastair Powers does… not a single person in the world), I cried out of love for two reasons… the first being a text that he sent me… I had sent him (and all the other most important people in my life) a text asking what the first thing that came to mind was when he thought of me, his response was received JUST as I was snuggling in for a night’s slumber… it caught me JUST in the throes of my valium sleepytime… my mobile was on my pillow next to my left ear and the ping and vibration pulled me out of the Christmastime party I was having with Augusten Burroughs. I glanced at my mobile, smiled at the name of the sender, curled up into a little ball facing left and read the following: “Your smile your glasses your eyes your bravery your gun ho Fuck this SHIT attitude your endless creativity and your love and support.” I wept. I wept first because I did not expect a response from him and I wept second because of the small intimacies he noted. To know that someone associates me with with my eyes and smile… it makes my heart hurt. The second happy weep a’la Pow was yesterday… we were still covered in the scent of chlorine from the pool and burdened with bags of food (burgers, chips, Victoria sponge, chocolate ganache pudding, bagels and coke zero). He pranced in excitedly and before we could even set the bags down he asked which of the presents I wanted first (presents which came from his recent trip to Blackpool)… I opened the first, which is a secret, only to be revealed once Johnny is finally unveiled; the second was handed to me with the words, “because I knew you were going to be moving in.” I then unwrapped a mug with the Scorpio symbol on it. (This is special for me and Pow because of a video that he and I made several months back. He has the worst memory in the universe and in the video he asked me what my star sign was twice in two seconds… now, when he does or says something silly or forgetful I always ask him what my sign is or he will pip me to the post by belting out “SCORPIO!”). Last night was spent curled-up on his sofa making videos and watching ‘The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus’ with small conversations about how and when I would start moving things in spun in throughout. We talked about foods we both like and how tidy the kitchen would be and I was generally in love with life. Nothing makes me happier than to know that I will get to spend my last several weeks in England with my favourite squishy-face in the world.
Painting my nails
Having more important work to do at my job
Wasabi 
OMGJANEYVISIT! This visit! OMGTHISVISIT! It will be starting from 14:25 Friday afternoon and last until 10:30 Monday morning. It will be full of LOTS of drinking, lots of baking and so much fun. It will be the busiest, but possibly the best and most epic JANEYDANIEFUNTIME in the history of the world. Friday I will pick her up and we will go pick up the things I have on reserve at the butcher’s in the market. We’ll prance back to mine and bake our faces off for a couple of hours and then bumble down to Bar One where we will spend the evening looking fabulous, eating cakes, watching amazing music, telling racist jokes to Nick and gawking at ANNA (even PERHAPS convincing Nick to take us to Curzons so’s Janey can have the experience of her life). Saturday we will rouse from our drunken sleeps in no fit state to do anything but watch stand-up comedy and horror movies. Once I feel up to it Saturday night I will tattoo myself under Janey’s watchful eye, make an attempt at cooking a cow’s heart and drink more. Sunday will see Pow arrive (hopefully) bright and early for a serious photo session for Johnny and general funtimes. The weekend will mostly just be amazing and made of win and everyone should be jealous. I can see us getting barred from places, sicking up (that’ll mostly be Janey) and offending many. It’ll be fun.
Reading old letters 
Good dreams
Carbonated water
Free tattoos
Opening post
Planning playdates
Orange juice WITH pulp
Hyperbole and a Half
When everyone else is sunburnt and i'm not
Tom Waits
Heath Ledger
Magnetic Fields 
the hippodrome (yes, that's me being tiny inside that massive, destroyed theatre)
The lists of things that come to mind when people first think of me... this is for a secret project, one that will be revealed in due course. the list is as follows.. beers around a fire, my voice, my accent, ear piercings, guinea pigs, an oversized plastic peanut with a tiny chirping bird inside, crochet, chinese buns, cupcakes, sushi, tattoos, wool, small lap dogs, burgers, benches, colour, light, denzel washington, taxidermy, general tat, bright-coloured clothing, animal skins, horrible packaged american foodstuffs, fags, ducks, hair, stars, cake, pink, perverted 'my little ponies,' laughing, vaginas, paisley-print, breakfast foods, makeup, hairdye, glasses, houndstooth, s'mores cereal, red straws, carnival rides, sandals, jeans, marker pens... it was a glorious list.


 

6: love my life: for all the friends i will get...

as much as i am rebelling against finding new friends, i cannot help but think that i will very regularly meet creatures that i adore and will need to spend the rest of my life entwined in a love affair with.

i can only expect that once i have moved back to america that i will meet creatures via the muffin and ashley and everyone.

i am SUPER excited to meet all the georgia creatures i've been speaking to. stephanie, alex and curtis! i'm excited to meet all the muffin's tattoo beasts in washington and tim and oh so many people. every day he mentions more people he cannae wait for me to meet and i honestly can't either. i love to imagine that i will become friends with tiny molly and ryu... that we will prance often and create amazing things together.

then, THEN!! there are my favourite beast's beasts! i simply cannot WAIT to prance back to america and meet all the people that have been keeping my favourite american beast company for the last five years. prarie is one that i am particularly excited about, but anyone there who calls me 'the cupcake lady' (a name i seem to have made for myself world-wide now) will immediately be my bff.

obviously, there are other creatures i will meet in my life. no doubt every one of them will blow my mind... no doubt i will fall in love with every single one of them... i worry that i will meet the bulk of them before i leave england, which will make it even HARDER to leave. i HATE to imagine who i will meet when pow pow and i have seriously started working on johnny.... i have met so many astounding people through my pow pow already that it terrifies me to think what other cats he has in his bag.

hopefully they are pretty.

5: love my life: for the wonderful journey's i've had...

i have been incredibly fortunate in my life. fortunate because i have had and seized many opportunities that most people haven't. i guess, like everything else, the best way to cover this is via list... this list is mostly going to be made up of more deep, metaphorical journeys, rather than actual lois and clark-style treks. i find my journeys are more special anyways.

enjoy!

• attention homes... there is no journey that i have embarked on in my life that i am more thankful for. going into the home was the single most important thing that has happened to me and i can honestly say that were it not for that home, i would absolutely not be the person i am today. that home shaped me into the forgiving, confident, personable individual that i am today and i will never, ever be able to express my gratitude enough. all the things i saw and experienced whilst in the home from the concerts to the house lockdowns, they were all just the most perfect combination of everything i needed and i will forever be in the debt of the staff of that facility. 
• my mum... everything i went through with my mum. many of you don't know a great deal about my past, but essentially, my mum fell ill when i was very young and i was left to care for her for several years. all the things that i went through surrounding that were special... prior to her falling ill though, we had many, MANY magical adventures. gah... getting a little sad thinking about it. my mum was always such an amazing woman. she always, ALWAYS gave me the best she had to give. before she fell ill she took me so many places and did everything she could for me. i wish i had more photos of her and i from when i was younger. after going into the nursing home, every visit i  had with her, no matter how painful, was so, so special. oftentimes our visits would just feature me laying on her bed whilst she scratched my head and i mused about how much i loved chris. she loved me more than anybody ever has and i will always remember that. the love that she always made me feel. 
• england... there is no bigger journey than the one where you realize all of your life's dreams. since i was a wee child i always, ALWAYS wanted to move to england. i remember when i turned eight i started calling my mom 'mum' and spelling words with a 'u.' everyone laughed at me and i just smiled because i knew something they didn't... i knew that i would eventually live in a country where this was regular practice and then, THEN they would all see who was laughing. i am here today, five years into the life i had always dreamed of and couldn't have EVER imagined anything better. living in england is everything i could have imagined it would be and then more. i feel so much like i fit in here and like this is where i belong. the people i have met, things i have seen and foods i have eat have all been EXACTLY how i hoped they would be. i adore the fact that i decided to get on that plane on that outrageously beautiful november day. i adore the fact that i decided to come out of the bedroom that even when pow pow came round to say hi to stu and chris. i especially adore the fact that i know, without a doubt that this particular journey is not over... this journey, my life in england will never, ever end. i will continue coming back as i know that this is where i belong in the long run. 
• my mental health... and what a journey this has been! whilst very trying at times, there is nothing that helps one learn more about themselves than mental and emotional turmoil. i have plunged into the deepest depths of myself and come out with a new and humble view on life. it feels as though i went through the last several years of chaos only to learn how to rebuild myself bigger and better than i was before. every single time i go through an 'episode' i seem to get lost and find just what i need to make it through that with little or no hindrance. having mental health problems is something that is indescribable. the things you are given the chance to see within yourself and others are incredible. 
• friends... jesus crisps. every single person i have ever met in the course of my entire life has offered me some form of a journey. from stuart, who was an amazingly close friend and eventually turned into satan... from pow pow, who has been one of the single most important creatures i have ever met... to janey, who has saved me from myself more times than i am able to count. every person that has swooped in and out of my life has been my companion in a fabulous adventure that has shaped my life (and hopefully theirs). 
• the muffin... and what a fucking journey THAT has been! from meeting him ten years ago and falling immediately in love with him, to spending every single day for several months with him in a bundle of love and kisses, to seeing him for the last time on march 6th 2002... this boy has offered me one of the most prolific journeys of my life. he has single-handedly taught me more about people, forgiveness and love than any combination of events or people ever could. there is not a time over the last ten years that i haven't thought about him or wondered about what his face looked like at that particular moment. he has had an all-consuming hold over me and i wouldn't have it any other way. i always knew the danie/danish journey wasn't over, but i never, ever imagined it would be making a stop here, at my house, in england... i couldn't have imagined it and i couldn't be happier about it.

4: love my life: for the friends i have

oh my actual god! there are just far too many... too TOO many. SO many creatures are in my life and i just don't know where i would be without them.

i was speaking with pow pow last night about my leaving and i said something that i tend to say to everyone lately... 'god, i just fucking don't want to meet ANYONE else before i move!' it is a mantra i have been repeating over and over again for the last month or so... the reasoning behind this is that i just don't have ANY idea how i am going to fit in any more hugs or 'i miss you's' in the next nine months. i just don't want to have to get attached to anybody else.

i have SO many special people in my life at the moment and i know... i know for absolutely certain that i will never, EVER meet anyone to replace them. when i move back to america i will have a pow pow-shaped hole in my heart, alongside janey, jaacqy, theo and hannah-shaped holes. my heart will be like a really sad piece of cheese.

anyways, back to the pow pow conversation. as soon as i said that he reprimanded me... said that i should never wish that... and i guess in a lot of ways i don't REALLY wish it. i just absolutely HATE the thought of having to have even more people to pine after when i return home.

le sigh!

please enjoy this montage of creatures that make my life worth living.

it is these creatures, along with hundreds of others that make my life worth living. thank you... thank you so much.

3: Love my life - for all my certainties

there are many things in my life that i am certain of... many, many things. i hadn't really realized it until i read this question and sat back to have a think... a lot of people say that there is nothing one can be certain for in life, but i know that there are MANY things i can count on.

a list of my certainties is as follows:

• the fact that, despite my concerns, my sisters will support any decision i make... i KNOW they will be worried about things. i KNOW they love me. i KNOW that any time they show worry or doubt, it is because they don't want to see me hurt. there is a lot of tension built up around the whole muffin thing... i have not told them about him yet because i want to make SURE before i start world war three. there will be mass devastation and i know this... i know this and am happy to accept the brunt of it because i know they will freak out because they love me. i am their little sister and they always warm to the decisions i make, when they see that i am a strong girl who can deal with it... it's nice to have that kind of love in my life.
• the solid friendships i have... i am very aware of the fact that there are some friends in my life, the BIG ONES that will be there for me through thick and bloody thin. people like janey, jaacq, pow pow, ashley and dane... they are the ones that are stuck with me forever. the ones that will always think about me and offer me their opinions and just love me. my friends are incredible ones who are the most supportive, strong, wonderful people and i would most certainly not feel strong enough to deal with all of the stuff i am doing at the moment were it not for them.
• the muffin's love for me... there is not one single, tiny, little doubt in my mind that the love that the muffin i call danish harbours for me is pure, fabulous and will last until the end of time. this revalation, whilst fairly old news, became all the more clear last night when i was talking to him about my concerns for when he's returned to america and i am still here. i asked him what should make me believe i could trust him, to which he replied that he has never, ever felt this way about anyone ever. he explained some very personal things that he has gone through in his head that i don't really wish to divulge here, but rest assured that they were sweet, heart felt and made this girl cry. the things he and i feel for one another are off the charts and it makes me happy and thankful every day to be able to say that i have officially found THE ONE... this is forever, kids, fasten your seatbelts because it will be intense.
• that every decision i have made in my life up until this very moment has made me the most perfect version of myself i can possibly be... i love who i am today. i love the things i have done to get where i am today. i am certain that there is not one single decision i have made in the past twenty-five years that has hindered me in any way. i am where i am and who i am, which is the best and most up-to-date version of danie on the market, because of the things i  have done, seen, smelled, tasted and heard. i am certain that there is no way that danie could be any more improved. i am certain that i am living my life to it's fullest potential as a result of all the decisions i have made and things i have done.

and it is those things i am certain of... i am sure there are more, but they are the huge ones. 

1: Love my life - for everything i already have

so, as i have mentioned before, i found an amazing site that is really inspiring and has helped me put a few things in my life into perspective.

i found a particular list on that site that lists 77 reasons to love your life... and i plan to evaluate each of these reasons seperately so i can ensure i am loving my life to the fullest of it's capacity. a lot of these answers will most likely take the form of lists (OMGLISTS!) and photos, but i want to be as concise and forward as i possibly can be.

please enjoy!

love your life for everything you already have

i have so many amazing things in my life... so many that it would not be possible to even list everything, but i can attempt to ensure that the big things, they get a mention here. please see below:

• my friends... without them i have NO idea where i would be. they are just the most amazing, inspiring and loving people in the world and without them, all of this stuff that i am going through would have killed me. and not just like, EVERYONE, but i am talking the big ones... the ones that have made my life easier by cuddling me, talking to me and letting me cry. beasts like hannah, janey, the muffin, powers, lee lee, jaacq, ashley, theo, charlie, alex, eleanor, goncalves, tree, meek... these people, they make my world. they are the ones that make my world spin and without them, i would cease to exist.
• my job... i am so in love with my job. being relied on and generally feeling needed, it is so nice and makes it just THAT much easier to get up in the mornings. i know when i come into work people will appreciate the world i do and will thank me. it really does take the sting out of my day to know that i can say that i am honestly happy with my job, as it is one of the places that i spend most of the time through the week and... i just love it.
• my STUFF... i just have SO many things... if you have been to my house you have been lucky enough to have seen my walls which are stacked far too high with THINGS. nothing special, just things. no matter how much stuff i have though, i can promise you that for each item, i can name where i got it, who i was with and what went through my mind when i selected it. i love every single tiny knick-knack, book, mug and ball of wool i have. i love all of my things, each for their own wonderful memory and appearance.
• my health... whilst not AMAZING, i still have SOME semblance of health and i am happy about that. i am very aware of my own health problems and have a fairly good idea of when something is wrong with me. i'm not physically ill in any way and my mental health problems are... okay... at the moment. i am well and i love that.
• my creativity... i LOVE this about me. it is quite possibly one of my favourite things about me. i even shock myself sometimes with the things i am able to create. i totally free-style and rock people's socks when i come out with something. i love my abilities.

i think those are the big ones... i just love everything about my life. every little thing. it is wonderful and i cannot imagine it ever being better than it is today, bar, perhaps when i get to be with the muffin for forever, that'll be nice.