so then, after six flipping hours last night, my hairs finally have come out being fabulous and incredibly strange.
i am so totally not used to having hair longer than like, three inches, so to have hair that i can tie up and twirl and chew on and generally beast, OMG teh fun!!
holly came over yesterday afternoon and we conversed about how we desperately wished we could be black and indulged in the comedy glory that is BAPS. that is the original film that made me want be allowed to be the ultimate in sassy with large hairs and one to four gold teeth in the front of my mouth to ensure status was kept in line.
feeling a little bit emo today. only a tiny bit and it doesn't really need to be something i flip out about but i just wish that sometimes husband was a little bit lovlier. sometimes i feel a little off and i just need a bit of reassurance. sometimes i just need a cuddle and for someone to love me unconditionally. unfortunately, a lot of those times, i cannae go to husband for that. he gets moody and says it is not his job to do that... it is MY job to make sure i am happy and feel good about myself.
like with my hairs for instance, i am feeling a little bit unsure about them. it is quite obvious that i would, as they are new and quite different to anything i have had before. i keep asking husband if he thinks i am pretty and he still loves me and he just gets angry and says he doesn't like the hairs and whatever. you know how sometimes someone just needs another person to tell them they love them and they are beautiful all the time? that is what i need and he just WON'T do it. he refuses. it hurts so much because i have this feeling like this person i have chosen to spend the rest of my life with SHOULD be there for me to lift me up and love me no matter what decision i make... i say this to him and he says, 'well, would you do the same for me?' and i honestly WOULD! there is nothing in the entire world that he could do or say or think or anything that would make me hate him or not support him. sometimes i might have trouble, but if i knew he was feeling insecure about it i would never ever take it upon myself to make him feel even more so. i would try to make him as comfortable and happy as possible.
*sigh*
