September 2015...

And here we are, flying directly into autumn. I'm thrilled and tired and ready to see what winter is like here in Texas. It's certainly less hot than it was when I was penning my last post, but it's still hot and I'm hanging by a thread. I've got lots of tidying to do and some sexy spicy teryaki to cook, so I'm going to get this blog going so's I can get everything else done...

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• My patience... And boy do I have a ton of it. I have wanted to burst into fits of giving people stern talking-to's pretty much nonstop for the past month, but I've restrained myself, in hopes that perhaps things would level out. Nope. Shit's ugly and all I can do is smile and patiently wait out the storm in hopes that things will become more sane after a few months. We shall see.
• My husband... He's my rock. Our marriage has never been stronger and that strength comes from a lot of goddamned hard work. I love that man every moment of every day and can't imagine going through this life without him. He's hilarious, strong, devoted, loving, and great to spend time with.
• Our kitchen... This kitchen isn't a joke, guys. It's got some seriously sexy features that make me giddy every single time I even catch the tiniest glance of it. I spend so much time in here that it's ridiculous and I'm not even mad about it. It's beautiful.
• Benadryl... My allergies have been cray for the past month. I'm itchy and miserable pretty much constantly, so I've been living on a steady stream of OTC shit to get me through a lot of my days. Those little pink pills are my favourite, though.
• Headbands... I'm trying so, SO hard to grow my hairs out. They are longer than they've been in a couple of years and the urge of shave is hitting me hard, so I've been trying to stave it off with a collected of beautiful, sassy headbands. So far, we're working together, so send good vibes. Growing one's hairs out isn't a joke.
• Water... All day, every day. I've decided I need to pull my life together and refuse to have anything but water to drink every day until I've consumed at least four seventeen ounce bottles of water. It really jumpstarts me being healthier each day and has made the world of difference for me so far. I just need to step it up a little.
• Chilis...  On everything. All the time. I don't know if it's because Mexico is fifteen minutes away or if it's because I have some deep-seated need for spice in my life, but I put it on everything. I make salsa pretty much constantly and enchiladas and chili, and everything spicy all the time. I heart chilis.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Crocheting... I have tons of gorgeously pregnant friends and tons of other friends who I just love and want to make things for. As a result of this, I've taken my newly organized craft stash as a sign that I should totally make all the things all the time. I spend the bulk of every one of my days crocheting. I can't seem to stop.
• Maintaining my patience... Which is a challenge, but I've had some mantras and have been taking some me-time to chill and regroup. I need this patience to keep strong, because I don't imagine the need for it will peter any time soon.
• Writing... I'd forgotten how much I love writing. I lost my drive for it for a while and had a block that made it hard, but I seem to have found my voice again, so I'm running with it.
• Organizing... And I want to organize ALL THE THINGS. I've been orchestrating several family and household notebooks, as well as busy books (for any little assholes that decide to say they're bored in my house, myself included), and calendars. I'm crazy for organizing right now, so I'm running with that too.

Things I want to tell October Danie:

• "Nope. Kindness doesn't prevail. Self-preservation is what you need to kick into now."
• "Not all people have the capacity to change. Let those shits go."

last but not least... here's a quote. 

 

July 2015...

Sweet merciful god. It is hot. I am working on another blog post right now about our gigantic move, so I'm going to do this post about things I adore at the moment and then move on to finishing the other blog.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Air conditioning... Good lord it is hotter than blazes here. Like, legit, I have never been so hot in my entire life. I may have mentioned being hot in the past... I was wrong. Very, extremely wrong. I regularly have sweat in places I had no idea were able to sweat. I want to live in a cool shower and/or lie on the sofa in a bathing suit constantly. However, the socially unacceptable nature of those activities meant hat we have a swamp cooler that helps us to exist. Not a perfect existence, but an existence. The car and any public stores are my favourite things right now because they pump air conditioning to the masses like it's water.
• Ice water...I LOVE ice. And water. And ice water. Our ice maker is pretty much my bff at the moment.
• Ice cream... I am sure you're sensing a theme. Ice cream is making every void in my life complete at the minute. It's gorgeous icy-ness is everything that I could ever need in the world. And I'm not limited to creamy treats. I am madly in love with sorbet as well.
• Having a kiddo around... It's so nice. Our house is completely full of laughter and snuggles and general glee. It's so magical to have a little person around to ask questions and absorb everything we say like a little sponge. She says hilarious stuff all the time and makes us challenge ourselves and our beliefs. It's a really special things to have her around. 
• The El Paso skyline... Seriously. It does not matter where we turn, those enormous mountains command all attention. I discovered that the mountain that runs down the center of El Paso represent the southernmost tip of the Rocky Mountains, which is super exciting. It's an enormous range of mountains that take my breath away every single day. They're no Mt. Rainier, but they are spectacular in their own right.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Making our new house a home... Guys, this house is beautiful and I couldn't be more pleased with it. But we have a lot of stuff that needs unpacking still. We've made a ton of headway, but there's still a lot of work to do. Pictures are being hung and trinkets are being displayed, so it's coming along.
• Cooking at home... Muffin and I need to eat better. So does the little lady. We are working on being much healthier and making better decisions when it comes to snack and meal time. I've been stalking recipes on Pinterest and have been making a lot of lists. It's been relatively successful in the past week, but we could do better. Wish us luck.
• Killing ants....  Seriously. Ants are ruining my life. Our actual entire back yard is completely covered in ants. We tried to plant some fresh veggies to grow and the veggies were covered with ants within hours. We have tried coffee, grits, baby powder, and two types of poison with no luck so far. I am at my wit's end. Any suggestions!? Bare in mind that I have a puppy and a kiddo to keep safe and healthy!

Things I want to tell August Danie:

• "You're in Texas now. You're here and you're roasting hot. Get used to it. It's going to be hotter before it gets cooler."
• "Hopefully things have continued on as positively as they have been. Keep being kind and maybe that kindness will follow."

last but not least... here's a quote. 

June 2015

Well, we are now successfully into June and we are now officially sixteen days away from moving halfway across the country and I am fucking exhausted. My entire existence is made up of equal parts cardboard, packing paper, yarn, and homework. I have had hardly any time to myself to stop and take a moment to breathe. I am just on full blast, running at top speed, burning the candle at both ends, and all the other sayings that exist to denote frazzled.

Only just now have I taken an evening to do some relaxed activities which include organizing my Pinterest, planning moving tactics, and figuring out what I'm going to pack next. I'm going to get this list out now, that way I can get to bed and be up bright and early for some packing fun.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Cutting hair again... It seems that all my neighbours have decided to realize that I cut hair NOW, instead of for the past year. As a result, I've been cutting a ton of hairs and I forgot how much I love it! Now though, we're moving in two freaking weeks and those turds decided to wait until the last minute to want me as their hairdresser. Great. Hopefully, I'll take over all of El Paso with my shears and colour brushes.
• OMG NEW HOUSE... You guys, we got a house in El Paso and it's pink and I love it. We had initially set out to have a house paid for and ready to move into the instant we moved to Texas and many, many people attempted to shatter our dreams of a seamless move by telling us horror stories and generally shrouding our hopes with doubt. Little did they know, we had the most fucking awesome good luck to be introduced to an amazing woman in El Paso who has done a lot of footwork for us, looking at houses and giving us information. She has been a godsend and I don't know how we could have gotten through the past few weeks without her. Anyways, she went and looked at some properties for us and Monday she went to look at a house that we fell immediately in love it! It's completely refurbished and has an enormous backyard!! Photos will occur and you will all be very impressed!
• American Ritual Tattoo... I'm so pissed that it took us until a month before our move to discover the gorgeous people that work at this shop. They are the funnest, sweetest, and most wonderful people and the work they do is fantastic.
• Organization...This whole move thing has really prompted some serious organization in our lives. I am organizing the fuck out of EVERYTHING! I am loving purging and sorting things into different, useful places. Hopefully, all this work will pay off when we arrive in Texas, because if it doesn't, I'm going to lose my mind.
• My beast is pregnant... My most favourite, gorgeous human in the world is FINALLY pregnant! That gorgeous Ashley of mine has a tiny baby in her belly and I couldn't be more excited for her if I wanted to be. For over a year now I've been patiently waiting for her and her husband to announce a bun in the oven. Every time she's posted a photo I've secretly hoped that it was an announcement that another beautiful human being would be brought into the world.. But it wasn't until last week that I got a text from her with a photo of a hoodie-shrouded belly telling me that she wanted me to be one of the first to know. My little heart swelled and that reminded me how much I love her and how much love that tiny human will be surrounded with. Ashley is a fantastic person and deserves wonderful things in her life. This little man is going to be rad.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• SELLING ALL THE THINGS... I have hit the point in our move that I want to literally just burn our house down. I am sick of packing and I am sick of negotiating space like I am playing a life-size version of Tetris. As a result of this packing exhaustion I have decided to rid our lives of as many things as I possibly can. We're getting rid of pretty much anything that we are able to, so I've been flogging things left and right everywhere we go. We've gotten rid of a pretty substantial amount of crap, but there's still a ton to go.
• OMG PACKING... Yeah. My world is made up of boxes. Everything in my life is in or around a box right now.
• Ice Cream... It is hot. So hot. And I hate heat. So ice cream is my bff right now. It is all I want to eat at the moment. Just ice cream, all the time. Watch out Texas, you'll have a cold treat shortage in two weeks.

Things I want to tell May Danie:

• "All this shit will be over with in two weeks. You will be on the road to a new life in two weeks. Are you ready for how fantastic this is going to be?!"
• "Be patient."

last but not least... here's a quote. 

The only barriers that you have are easily overcome if you push yourself hard enough. Find your dreams and make them happen. That's what we're doing!

April 2015...

April is coming together interestingly and with a boom and a bang. It's been a long month already and how that could possibly be will come in a blog possibly tonight. Maybe tomorrow. We shall see.


I'm just going to go ahead and get my list moving so that I can get back to homework and stuff, but know that I have been elated, delighted, and every ounce as happy as it is physically possible for me to be. I hope you have too. So much. I want everyone to feel the air or gorgeous lightness that I am feeling. I want everyone to know that good things will come and that faith must be had that things will fall where they are supposed to. Please, take time to yourself and make your mind calm in the fact that the world, your world is going where it should. I promise.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• My new Beats... I got them as an early graduation gift and I literally don't think I could be more pleased. I have verbally abused many people about how ridiculous I think it is that people feel the need to have such an expensive piece of technology in their lives, but now that they are adorning my ears (and I have not depleted my own bank account for them), I am in love. They are the most beautiful colour, with the most gorgeous sound quality. I'm sorry for any hateful remarks I have made about them. They are my new BFF. 
• Getting rid of junk... SO, Dane and I are moving. In seventy-three days we will be bundling ourselves into a Penske truck to begin a twenty-seven hour drive to El Paso where we will begin a new life with lots of sun and possibly chickens (more on that later!). Because we're moving ourselves, I've decided that I want nothing to do with transporting more crap than we need to. I have a tremendous amount of stuff. Countless books, a craft store's full stock of yarn, and more cardigans than I have ever seen anybody have, and I've realized that perhaps the reason I feel so overwhelmed and anxiety-riddled is because I am literally surrounded with an excessive amount of just STUFF. Not things that I need or have any specific use for, just stuff for the sake of having stuff. So we've decided to deplete. So far seven (pretty large) boxes of books, four garbage bags of clothes, three boxes of DVD's, and a couple of pieces of furniture have been shifted out of our lives, and I feel so pleased and marginally more free. We're purging a ton of stuff, and I'm so very excited not only to have the weight of the junk we have off of me, but also to be able to completely start from scratch with a lot of stuff. When we get to El Paso we'll be able to go find a new dining table and sofa, along with other things we need. We'll be able to create a new home in a new place and that is so thrilling. 
• Breakfast... I am currently obsessed with breakfast, particularly steel cut oats. I discovered them when we were in California last and my mother-in-law fed me some, and the romance has been rekindled given that I have TONS of it in the pantry and I want to spend less money. Oats are just so delicious and I adore how many different ways that I can make them such. I have a fridge full of fresh fruit that I cut over them, or I have cocoa that I can use to make them taste like brownies, or I have brown sugar and butter for a really easy morning. They are fantastic!
• My marriage... Despite how horribly things could have become with all of the changes in our lives these last few weeks, things have only become more beautiful. Rather than choosing to be overwhelmed and exhausted, we've decided to be delighted and laugh as often as we can. For every moment that we have panic about the move, we shift our focus to things that are going to be gorgeous about it. We have been talking and sharing small stories about our childhood. We've been snuggling and giving kisses every time we have a spare moment. I couldn't even begin to explain how terrified I was a month ago about the future of our marriage, but this past couple of weeks has shifted everything into a bright patch of light that has reminded us that things are okay and it's alright to trust one another and I can't believe how furiously it's made me love everything else in my life.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Moving hacks. I want to make this move as easy as possible. I am on Pinterest constantly looking up ways to move specific things (and guys, if ANY of you know of a majestic ways to move all of  my makeup and cosmetics without them killing themselves in the heat, I would love for you to share them) and have found a TON of fantastic ideas, but please feel free to share any special trickery that made your lives easier in the moving process. Particularly things involving cosmetics, paint (acrylic and liquid watercolours), and my stinky puppy (who I plan to sedate for the bulk of the trip, thanks vet). 
• My iTunes playlist. More than consuming my life, it's destroying it. For months now I've been slowly working on new playlists for a new iPod I've had sitting on my bookshelf for literally a year. I want that iPod to be perfectly organized and every song on every playlist to be suitable for the mood that playlist is meant for (sleepytime, emotional cutting, and exercizing, to name a few). I'm getting a little irrationally crazy about it, but I want it to be done and to not have to touch it again for forever, so I've been obsessing over it. I'm so close to being done, but then the double-checking will come into play, and the light at the end of THAT tunnel seems exponentially far away. 
• Studying for state boards. I'm about to certify in Esthetics in Washington and I've been crazy-studying. I take my practical test on Wednesday and my written on Saturday. I want to pass them both IMMEDIATELY, so I've been cramming like crazy. THEN, I'll have to take both tests again to certify in Texas, which is just so exciting, so I've been preparing for that as well. The requirements for Texas are tremendously different than those for Washington, so it's not going to be devastatingly difficult, but it's a lot to prepare for. 

Things I want to tell May Danie:

• "Dude, you are literally moving in a month, have you got your shit together?!"
• "You are a special person and lots of people love you, please don't forget that during this moving process. You will be saying goodbye to a lot of people and they have each touched your life in some way. Show them how much you appreciate them as a reminder to yourself of how blessed you are and as a reminder to them that they mean a lot to you."

last but not least... here's a quote. 
I am an emotional and physical hoarder, so I need this reminder. I can't keep clutching on to things that don't matter anymore. 

February 2015...

So we're balls-deep into 2015 and it's been a pretty miraculous beginning to the year. We are healthy, happy, and attempting to make our lives better. It's been busy because it's my final practical quarter in school and I've been purging the heck out of our house, but it's been very cleansing and satisfying.


Things are coming together for us and finally reaching a level of homeostasis that I'm very happy with. I'm elated every day for the blessings that I have been given and couldn't hope to be more pleased for the smiles that I've got smeared across my face every day. 

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Cosmetic Chemistry... It's been a tremendously fascinating topic that we've been going through at school for the last couple of weeks. There are so many myths about products ingredients, and things I am glad I've learned. I have discovered how to create esters, the history of many huge ingredients used in products, and what specific things can be used for particular skin issues. I feel like the entire world is at my fingertips right now, and it's very exciting!
• Red Velvet Oreos... Oh. Em. Gee. I got a free bag last week before they were released and they literally changed my life. Red velvet is one of my most favourite things in the entire world and these Oreos have just elevated everything to the next level of snacking.
• Epigenetics... We went to a little class on this topic a few weeks ago and I just had to learn more. I've been rampantly consuming books on epigenetics, biology, chemistry, genetics, and everything else I can. It's such an incredible topic and so mystifying that so many things happen at the teensy, itty-bitty cellular level.
• Muffin... My baby. The love of my life. I adore his big, beautiful face such a gigantic amount. He's so sweet and loving and really makes all my days so much more magical just by saying sweet little things or grabbing my hands. I am so happy that we are going into our fourth year of marriage and so grateful to have him in my life.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Reading everything I can on biology, genetics, chemistry, and cosmetics. 
• Serial killer documentaries... All of them. All the time. I've really hit the bug on criminals again. It's such an interesting topic.
• Conquering knitting... I'm making a blanket for Molly's birthday and committed myself to KNITTING it rather than crochet, and it's really forcing me to get those needles on lock-down. It's been slow-going, but I'm getting there.
• Fixing my heart... I deserve to be happy and not compromise myself in lieu of other people's feelings, so I've been making myself a priority and learning to respect my own needs along with other people's.
• Learning how to groom my puppy myself... We are poor, you guys. We don't have endless streams of cash for all the money in the world that groomers want to wash my dog, so I've taken it upon myself to learn how to groom that little bear by myself. I invested in a nail grinder and have been trolling Youtube like it's my job for how to trim black satan nails (Which are litterally like satan. They are horrific). It's been fun and really self-fulling to be able to become independent from Petsmart's hold on me.

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "It's 2015 and you will be finished with school soon! You're going to start working and making a really beautiful path for yourself wherever you may go. Enjoy the ride!"
•  "Maybe all that kindness will pay off. Maybe."

last but not least... here's a quote. So I have gall stones, and my eating has had to fall under a lot of scrutiny and control, which has been agonizing. So when THIS popped up on my Pinterest feed it struck me pretty hard.

November 2014...

Right now I am experiencing a mass amount of distress surrounding the fact that I am about to enter my final week in my twenties. This is it. This will be my last seven days living in a decade that granted me countless beautiful opportunities to learn, live, and love as irrationally or intently as I wanted. It has been bountiful and every bit as perfect as I could have hoped it would be.

Those two weeks post-Halloween have always been the most thrilling, as they begin the countdown to my birthday and the countdown to the promise of a new, exciting year of life. I adore November for all the crackling leaves, birthdays, Thanksgiving, fireplaces, and OMGALMOSTCHRISTMAS. It's always my favourite and never fails to deliver every ounce of excitement that I build up to it every single year.

So here's my November list. A list I am particularly elated about...


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• THE BOOK OF LIFE. Beautiful. Sickeningly beautiful. The soundtrack. The imagery. The everything. I'm in love with it. 
• Sugaring. It's like a thousand times better than waxing and I can't stop thinking about how much I love it. I plan to investigate ways to make my own sugar paste so I can test things out at home. 
• Cheesecake. At least two times a week I eat cheesecake. I'm a fat lard.
• Lush Christmas 2014. The products we have are incredible and you all need to get your paws on some of them. Our house is absolutely filled with spicy smells and glitter. It's a wonderful time of year that is made magnificently better by my place of work. 
• OK GO. Their new album is incredible. 

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Planning my birthday trip. We leave in eight days and I pretty much remind everyone constantly throughout the day. I have spent almost every free moment of the last month attempting to find new, magical, special things for us to do during our trip. I can't WAIT to get away and spend some time with the hubby and my in-laws. It's going to be really special and the perfect way to ring in my third decade on this earth. 
• Planning our winter trip. Molly asked us several times why we never went to see HER, so we immediately jumped on that as an opportunity to go on an adventure, see where the little lady lives, and attempt to bridge a gap with her mother, which was humbly accepted and then very hatefully rejected only recently. I'll admit that I was very excited for Molly to be able to see her two families come together for the sake of her. She has so much confusion and unsureness surrounding her two homes that this would have been something tremendously important for her. Something that could have worked as a turning point for her finally feeling safe and like it is okay to love both families without feeling like she is hurting someone else. It's a hard, fine line that she is walking that is being shaken. All we can do is make sure it's not us who are shaking it. We want her to feel safe and comfortable, and if her needs don't come ahead of everyone else's, there's not a lot we can do about that. All we CAN do is love that little face as much as possible and make sure she knows that she is safe and free to love anyone she wants when she's with us. Anyways... We're going to El Paso, so if anyone has any suggestions of fun things to do whilst we're there, please, help. We've got a few ideas, but with the freed up time, we wouldn't be upset about some more ideas.
• Setting up an amazing Christmas. We've never had a little one in our house for actual Christmas day like, ever, so we're trying to plan fun, rewarding Christmas experiences that I am desperately excited about. I've been planning several things since February... We want to uphold some fun traditions whilst holding up really important morals about giving and being thankful for what we have. I've been researching and planning doing some special things for our community since mid-summer that I'm really excited about. We're going to donate some time and love back to our community in a lot of ways. We'll also be generally doing a lot of great family things for the holidays, which will be super-fun. 
• Making my crafting/makeup room the most fabulous room in the world. And woooh doggie it's going to be great. There is a heap of glitter, fairy lights, tons of bookshelves, and lots of DIY. I'll unveil it soon and everyone will be jealous. I promise. 
• Painting. I'm currently obsessed with working on a painting of mine that I started months ago as a project for school. I've since morphed it into a gorgeous piece of art that I can't WAIT to hang on our walls. I'm in the middle of painstakingly creating a galaxy on canvas, which is difficult, but totally rewarding. 

Things I want to tell December Danie:

• "The year is finally almost over. This is your first official month as a thirty year-old, and the month of glitter, and gifts, and giving. Buckle up!"
• "Keep being kind. You know better than anyone that being hateful isn't helping anything. You're doing what's best by not stooping to ugly levels, just keep being kind. Even if it's difficult."

last but not least... here's a quote. Because all you can do is choose to forgive. Be kind and forgive. It doesn't help anybody to be a dickhead.

June 2014. It's ALSO Tuesday!

Good LORD! It's already July!

With the little one outside playing in the warm night with the neighbour kids, I get a moment in the sweltering heat of our house to post some of my favourite things about the past month.

It's been a month chock full of excitement, hot days, fun, and crazy busy, but I've enjoyed pretty much every second of it. Please, have a look!

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Esthetics... I've just begun my first quarter and we started waxing today (which I am INCREDIBLE at, if I do say so myself) and I'm in love! Thus past month has been really important for my education thus far and I've appreciated every moment of it. We've learned a gigantic amount about skin and how it reacts to lots of different variables. It's been great!
• The CDC... I am VERY fascinated with the CDC right now and spend a LOT of time perusing their website every day to keep myself updated on any new outbreaks or viruses. It's incredibly interesting.
• Having Molly here... she's been here for a few weeks now and it's been such a great time! We have so much fun with her, learning about her and teaching her about things that might be new to her. We've spent a lot of time watching films from the eighties and nineties and have done a lot of crafts together. We've all had a blast! To top it off, we've gotten to see her grow leaps and bounds even just in the weeks since she's been here because she finally gets a chance to relax and be a kid. I worry she doesn't get to just get out and get dirty and have rambunctious fun very often at home, so we like to accommodate that.
• Reading... I've been doing a lot of it and there's not really a lot of explanation needed.
• Maleficent... If you're one of my regulars, you'll know I love it. I want to see it again desperately.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Taking as many photos as possible... Because we only get a handful of days with the little lady a year, we like to capture as many memories as possible. I've spent a lot of this trip taking a step back and letting Muffin enjoy time with Molly so that I can take photos for him to look back on until the next time he sees her again. It'll be a long five months, but we'll see her again soon enough. 
• Stephen King books... Doctor Sleep has spurned a whole new love for Mr. King's books for me again. I've become pretty obsessed with reading as many of them as possible lately. Plus, he has a new one that JUST came out that I'm going to be starting soon. He's such a brilliant author and I adore his books. I'm also thrilled to discover that a whole heap of his books are going to be made into films VERY soon!
• Planning Great Wolf Lodge... So, for Molly's birthday, Grandma booked us a room at Great Wolf Lodge for this summer and we're going in three days. We can't even BELIEVE how excited we are about it! I honestly think Muffin and I are more excited than Molly is. We've been looking at photos of the water park there every single day to get ourselves all riled up about the trip. It's going to be so much fun and there will be TONS of photos taken to commemorate the excitement!

Things I want to tell July Danie:

• "You can take the high road and it won't cost you a penny. Just be patient and understanding."
• "Stop putting off workouts, you're not going to get where you want to be with that kind of attitude!"

last but not least... here's a quote.  I've personally given up on being hateful. I want for things to start mending, and until people make the decision to grow up with me, I'll be here, patiently hoping for an end to all the negative junk in my life. I don't have time in my life for things that are so unpleasant. I have chosen to be happy and take control of how I treat people. I know that everyone deserves to be treated with fairness and respect, and I am willing to offer that to individuals, even if they might not necessarily deserve it.

May 2014

YAY! A new month! I am so excited for summer than I can hardly stand it!

The cards of my life are falling into clear and beautiful places and I'm so pleased from day-to-day that I stop several times a day just to look up and thank whatever stars finally aligned to make things so great.

I'm going to compile a list of things that made the last month so prolific and great for me, so have a gander!


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Documentaries... Again, I have caught the documentary bug and I've been taking in TONS over the last couple of weeks. Each night when I come home I pop one on. In fact, during my homework today I've zipped through about seven documentaries. It's been really fun and informative. I just love watching them and being back in class has really boosted that excitement again. My teacher LOVES documentaries and has had us watching a lot through the quarter, so I've just been taking that home with me at night and consuming as many as possible.
• FANS... It's been hotter than blazes here the last week or two and I've fallen in love with my fan again. The poor little guy gets dragged from room to room in the house throughout the day to help keep us nice and cool.
• Skyping with Molly... Muffin called me in to Skype with her today and it was SO nice. She's just such a grown-up little lady right now and getting to catch up with her was really nice. Muffin has been loving finally being able to see his little girl quite a lot too. She loves Skyping with him and he couldn't be happier. Seeing that tiny little face light up as she shows us the landmarks of her daily life is so nice. We can't WAIT to see her!
• Numbers falling... I'm ever so slowly losing weight. That number on the scale is falling each day and I couldn't be more pleased!

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Diseases and Disorders of the skin... I'm pretty much completely obsessed with them. I go to bed each night thinking about them and reading about the ones that I can't piece together by myself. Learning about cell differentiation and the life processes of certain diseases and disorders has really inspired me to discover as much as I possibly can about them. I want to know why certain skin is spared, or why, in a pair of twins, one will have psoriasis and the other won't. It's all such an enigma and I'm in love with it. 
•  Summertime activity planning... So Molly broke her arm, so we've had to alter the activities that we had been planning just a little bit. She'll get her cast off around the middle of her visit, so we'll be able to do some of the fun activities that we had planned, but this has opened up our eyes to a whole heap of NEW activities that are friendly to a broken limb. We have a list as long as that little broken arm of things that we'll be able to do, so we're excited!
• Cosmetic Chemistry... Given my schooling and where I work, it is WILDLY important for me to learn as much as possible about ingredients used in cosmetic products, and that has filled my little life up at the moment. When I'm not looking up the histology of Acne Fulminans or Herpes Zoster, I am reading in-depth about the ingredients in every single thing I possibly can. I want to know why each and every ingredient is in everything I use now and why. I want to know what purpose things serve and why they are on my skin. I literally have my cosmetic dictionary with me everywhere I go and refer to in constantly. It's a lot of fun.

Things I want to tell June Danie:

• "Kindness. Remember kindness and patience."
• "TAKE MORE BATHS! YOU DESERVE TO!"

 last but not least... here's a quote. PHEW! This hit me hard when I read it the other day! It's such a true statement, particularly with all the times I find myself taken aback by people being turds. I've lived with this mantra for years now and this popped up just as I needed it. It hits home. 

April 2014...

Whew! It's been a goddamned long couple of months. I totally missed-out on putting March up because I started two (Yeah, two) jobs, my new course at school, AND moved. It's been busier than holy hell and we're finally starting to reach a level of homeostasis that we've not seen in a while.

Despite our house being in utter shambles at the moment and me literally working or being at school every single day of the week, I am very slowly falling back in love with life. I adore the new house, my jobs are glorious, and Muffin and I are doing fabulously. I can't really complain a huge amount.

Speaking of new jobs, I actually JUST got home from a pretty long day, so I've got to get on with this...


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• New house... It's over 1,500 square feet of fabulous. Not only do we have a bedroom, but the kids will have a bedroom to sleep in when they come visit, Muffin has a music room, and I have my own craft room. Yeah,  you heard that right. I have a craft room. A room entirely dedicated to all my yarn, sewing machine, scrapbooking crap, and glitter. It's my own little slice of heaven that I am madly in love with.
• Costco... It's pretty much the best place ever, in the world. I am in love with their pizza (LESS THAN TWO DOLLARS A SLICE) and can't believe the huge amounts of fruit and veggies I can get all at once. We don't go there horribly often, but I love being able to go and just walk around and find things I can't live without.
• Work... You all should probably just deal with the fact that I work at LUSH now. I have been desperately trying to get a job there for years now, and FINALLY got it! I literally have a job that lets me wear as much glitter as I want, which is never a problem. Every day when I get off Muffin actually treats me like I've been writhing around with dead bodies all day and herds me to the bedroom to strip off and change into something less sparkly. I couldn't be more pleased.
• My teacher... I've mentioned her once. Maybe twice. I can't help but mention her again. I love her an indescribable amount. She is such a kind, wonderful woman and I couldn't imagine having a better teacher even if I wanted to. It is a joy to get out of deb every morning because I know that I will get to sit at my little desk and listen to her very passionate discussions about topics that she very clearly feels strongly about. She inspires me to push myself and learn as much as possible and that's what everyone should look for most in a teacher.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• The new blog... My new step-parenting blog. It's really been special to have a place that is mine that can be used solely for talking about all the crap going on in my life with regard to blending families. It's very fulfilling.
• DIY projects for the new house... I've been whipping out curtains, making rugs, painting shelves, and learning new organizing techniques that are really helping us to make this new house a home. So far, the kitchen and bathroom have new curtains and two of the bedrooms have new rugs on their way to being done. Life's been busy with school and workies and stuff, but I'm finding time to make lovely things for the house and channel my energy into something more positive and enriching.
• Watching all the best documentaries... When i get some spare time I like to throw on one of the literal hundreds of documentaries I have saved on our Netflix queue. I really enjoy sucking up as much information as I possibly can about every topic from adoption to narcotizing fasciitis. It's fascinating and helps my mind keep limber and on top of it's game.  

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "Summer is just around the corner and it's going to be a doozie, so brace yourself!"
• "The house will get to where it needs to be. You don't need to fuss over every detail. It's okay to take a break just for yourself sometimes."

 last but not least... here's a quote. This has HAD to be my mantra for the last month or two. There has been a lot of horrible bullshit going on around me and I've had to remind myself repeatedly that it is okay to be frustrated and angry, but never, under any circumstances, is it okay to be hateful or cruel. So many people have an issue with their emotions and can't contain them. They are forced to do horrible things by their shitty attitudes, and I am thankful that I am able to rise above that.

February 2014

Hey March,







Nice to meet you. I am actually SUPER excited that you are finally here because February was an asshole and left me exhausted. I'm thrilled to start a new month and see new things transpire.

Right now I am sitting with my BFF Allie and watching the Walking Dead. I thought that since I'd finished all my homework I should get onto doing a blog. There's a HUGE stream of blogs that are inching their way to being done that will be pretty heavy-duty, so be prepared for that. I am intent to close a pretty hefty chapter of my life until someone else decides they want to pull their head out of their ass and reopen it, so that I can finally find peace and know that I did the right thing.






Anyways, here's the new monthly. It's not great, but it's also certainly not horrible.

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• That all the court shit is finally over... Last week, Muffin finally decided to just agree to the last couple bits of crazy that were looming over this court case and it's all filed and done. It's been such a goddamned long year, guys. A year from hell. The emotional bullshit that we have endured at the hands of someone who just literally cares about nobody but themselves has been unacceptable, but has left us stronger and better people for it. I'm happy to have been able to be a part of the experience, but I am even more pleased that it is finally over for now and we can start focusing our energies on other parts of our lives. 
• Sunny days... FINALLY, Washington has decided to shed a little light on our lives and it's been fabulous. We've certainly not had much warmth, but the sun is out, which makes the days just slightly more manageable.
• Tomato juice... I literally cannot drink enough of it. It seems as though I'd forgotten how smitten I was with the stuff until two weeks ago when, desperate for something to drink post-tooth extraction, I stumbled across a bottle of tomato juice that made its way into my belly and my heart. Now I can't stop drinking it. I easily finish a bottle a day, and I'm not even a little bit upset about it.
• Hunger Games.... That's really the long and short of this one. There's no explanation necessary. I'm on the third book and I am still hooked.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• BFF lives closer... Yeah, my BFF FINALLY moved much nearer and I am pleased mostly because that means more playdates which include, but are not limited to glittering things, drinking cocktails and eating snacks whilst watching films that make us cry. I've missed having her nearby so much and having her near enough for us to have TWO playdates in ONE week is just incredible.
• Preparing for my new classes... So I'll be starting my new degree at the end of this month and I am SO excited! I'll be working and going to school full time and really pulling my life together. I'm beginning the Esthetics programme at my school so that I will have more opportunities when I finish school and go out and find a more complete job. The degree I am taking is technically to become a Medical Esthetician, which means I would be able to work in hospitals or dermatology clinics to help people with skin conditions and burns. It's a really exciting field that I can't wait to become a part of.  
• Writing a new blog entry... It's been about three months in the making. I've been working on it tirelessly, making sure I've worded every single bit of it properly and conveyed my message perfectly. It is a blog that I've agonized over the need to write for a long time now that I feel is entirely necessary. It'll be coming in parts over the next week or two, so keep your eyes peeled. It's going to be pretty raw and very private, so if you are of a weak constitution, steer clear. 

Things I want to tell March Danie:

• "Your life is getting better and better every day and you have had a major part in that happening. You are strong and creating something safe and great for the lives of you and Muffin, so just know that."
• "FINISH ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE STARTED! ALL THAT YARN WON'T CROCHET ITSELF!"

 last but not least... here's a quote. And it's the truth. All darkness comes to and end and things will become brighter. Just persist.

January 2014...

Oh January. You really put so much spirit in my heart for what this new year has to offer my family and me.

You've helped me realize that good things CAN come out of heartache and stress, just so long as you remain honest and steadfast in doing what is right.

You gave me new friends and things to look forward to.

Most importantly, you gave me inspiration. I opened up this new year with the decided intention to make this year better. To make it fun, honest and worth every single moment. I began this year with a crochet hook in hand and a list of patterns the length of my arm that I plan to tackle and I really do plan to see results.



Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• My weightloss... still trucking along and working to make myself a better person. It's been a little slower the last couple of weeks because I've been busy with school and then sick and then... well, now I'm just making excuses. Regardless, I've gotten back on track and I'm feeling better for it.
• Our heater... Yeah, it's gotten alarmingly cold here in WA and as a result, I've totally had to break my ex-husband's training and turn the heating on. I HATE having the heat on above sixty, but the last week I've HAD to have it on because I've been wildly ill and perhaps close to dying of hypothermia. I was in no less than five shirts and under three gigantic blankets and was STILL freezing. So the heat was on and I was as content as possible.
• Ice water... As a result of my illness, I've been put on a series of very serious antibiotics that have left me completely dehydrated. My lips actually feel like they are just going to turn into pieces of jerky at any moment. I've been living on ice water filled with slices of lemons and it's been glorious! I can't seem to get enough.
• Drawing... Oh yeah. I'm still doing a pretty offensive amount of drawing. I'm pretty pleased with myself and have actually been asked to do a piece of art for a friend of mine over in Japan purely because she'd love to hang something of mine in her office. That's such a nice feeling and as a result, I've created a pretty miraculous piece of work. Drawing's been pretty therapeutic for me these last several weeks. 

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• American Horror Story... Like, it's consuming my life because I've got nothing else to watch. It's not great, but it's also not horrible. There's a lot of cameos and a lot of interesting twists, but it's pretty stressful to watch because sometimes there are so many confusing intertwining of stories that I've got to stop it and figure it out before moving on. It's good, so give it a try if you've got nothing better to do.
• Hunger Games... In the wee hours of the night prior to falling asleep, I lay in bed and read. My current books are the Hunger Games books. They're pretty great and I'm enjoying them a great amount. I can't WAIT to get to the third one so I can FINALLY find out what the hell happens in the end!
• Planning... We'll be moving eventually. Maybe sooner than later, we have no idea. And when we do, I want to be super prepared and know that the new place will be a new start for a life that is good for Muffin and me. An organized, comfortable and not-surrounded-by-neighbours life that will make the both of us very happy. So Pinterest has been my BFF the last couple weeks, just so I can start planning how to pack things when we DO get the word that we will be moving. It's exciting and I can't wait to start a new part of our lives.

Things I want to tell February Danie:

• "Good LORD, take some time for yourself! Stop concerning yourself with other people and their needs. You have your own!"
• "How about a malibu and coke, just to relax a bit?"

 last but not least... here's a quote. a very important quote that I need to keep in my mind.

December 2013, the decided end to some misery...

So I've made a decision that December 2013 is going to be the direct end of my unhappiness. I plan to not let my life be consumed by hideous emotions anymore... The anger and frustration has been dwindling over the last couple of months and I plan to finally see the end of them beginning this year. I am choosing to be happy and choosing to not let other people destroy my happiness.

I am going to be in charge of my emotions and with that decision I will choose to be happy, full of glee and open to offer my happies to everyone I encounter.


Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• My weightloss... I've lost a little over thirty pounds now and I happily won the class weight loss challenge. I've still been eating healthier (although not as healthy as I COULD be, I really need to get myself back on track) and been taking care of myself. I'm seeing a lot of changes in myself and I couldn't be happier.
• Sifting through the memories from the last year... It's been a long year and a lot of good and bad things have happened that I'm spending a lot of time going through them in my mind and appreciating all of them. My grandmother dying, which was horrible, but offered me the opportunity to see my family and some friends. Molly got to come visit a couple of times this year, which was GLORIOUS! She actually just left this morning after a little over a week here and it was such a magical time. After all the terrible things that have been happening this year with court and stuff, having Molly here and seeing her spend time with us perfectly happily was so special. She's such a great little girl and I love seeing her with Muffin. Their eyes light up so much when they get to give one another hugs. It's been an eventful year and I appreciate every memory that I've had the chance to take part in.
• Investigating future educational endeavours... I'm contemplating  going to school for a little more in-depth education once we've settled next year and I've been putting a lot of thought into what I'd like to do. I have a few ideas, including studying to become a paralegal in Family Law, but it's all still very up in the air. It's exciting though!
• Drawing... Indeed, I've begun to draw again. I started last week when Molly first arrived because she's really into drawing. We would sit every night before bed with a sketch pad and we would draw fish and mandalas and furbies. It sparked something in me that has pushed me to do a lot more doodling and drawing.

Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Arrested Development... GOOD GOD. EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW! We've just discovered it and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that we've nearly finished all four seasons in one week. I love every single actor in it and the writing is amazing. We're four episodes from the end and I'm already concerned about how I will fill the void in my life once it's over.
• Stephen King... So, I love Stephen King and when Doctor Sleep came out I got myself super excited to read it because I LOVED the film adaptation of The Shining. Except, I realized that I should probably read the actual book first, because no matter how many times I've seen the film, it is always worth reading the book to see what might be different. I am wildly delighted that I DID read The Shining first though because, to say the film was liberally adapted is a major understatement. The book is incredible and full of a lot of alarming imagery that diverts from the film in countless ways and I wish so much that the film was more closely mirrored to the book.  I've just started Doctor Sleep and so far it's pretty great. We'll see though.
• Stepping... I've been really learning a lot about how to effectively be a step mother that promotes a healthy blending of homes without interfering too terribly much. I let Muffin spend time with Molly and bond with her and smile with glee at how insanely happy they both are allowed to be, even if only for a week at a time. I've been reading a lot of books and talking to a lot of people in my situation and have decided that rather than being miserable about how crazy life has been and how much I am personally being attacked, I plan to be happy that I get to see Muffin bond with one of his kids and be a passive  part of such a special little girl's life.
• Sorting out my finances...We're getting there and planning on ways to get ourselves into a better place financially. Muffin got a little shafted by his ex with a repossessed car and that's effectively destroyed his credit rating, so he and I have been trying to make smart decisions to get ourselves out of this rut that, admittedly is also partly his fault. It's going to be a slow road, but a road that will make our lives easier and better.

 
Things I want to tell January Danie:

• "You guys are still doing the right thing. Be cautious and make decisions that are led not in anger or spite but in love and the want for a better life. It's going to work out. I promise."
• "You are doing SO AWESOME clearing out your house! You've literally taken like, ten boxes to sell at the bookstore and that's great! I bet you feel better about how much more space you have now, don't you?"

 last but not least... here's a quote. a very important quote that I need to keep in my mind.

Remember, Remember, the Month of November...

Well HELLO November! We meet again!

It's been a very interesting few months. Months that have left me with little or no time to post blogs, craft or even breathe. I am exhausted, but also feeling quite encouraged and hopeful for the future.

The biggest thing I really feel like I need to do to make sure I'm living fully is to write. I don't write nearly as much as I should and I worry that a lot of my stress is based solely on the fact that I am just not venting at all, anywhere. We try to keep away from talking about hideous topics as much as possible and a lot of it is getting quite on top of me.

Anyways, let's get this blog on. I am excited that November is here and that the end of this really quite horrific year is just that much closer. Let's do this, shall we?

Things i love most RIGHT NOW:

• Building a better me... Our class took a vow to lose weight. To treat ourselves better, feel better and look better. We started two weeks ago (we've been doing T25... and can I address how much this made me want to die the first couple of days after I started? I actually thought I was going to die. Like, legitimately, I couldn't walk.) and I've since lost ten pounds, which brings my grand total since about June to a total of twenty-two pounds! I still obviously have a lot of work to do, but it's a road that I've finally started to make some headway down and it feels amazing. I've since finally been able to dig out some of the clothes that haven't fit me in a while and THAT has been one of the better things about this month.
• Eating better foods. I've fallen completely in love with smoothies at the moment. My fridge is full of spinach, fruit, greek yoghurt, fennel seeds and almond milk. I make myself at least one smoothie a day and have been really enjoying what a difference it has made in my day-to-day. I have more energy, feel less weighed-down and am overall happier. I've also cut cola almost completely out of my life and have stopped eating fast food, save for maybe once a week. It's nice. I'm finally doing what needs to be done to feel better about me and I couldn't be more pleased because this is all me now. It's MY self control, MY better choices and MY life that I'm improving.
• De-cluttering. It's no secret that I have a lot of stuff. I literally have so much stuff that I'm bordering on being submitted for an episode of Hoarders. Not like a gross episode though, as my house is only filled with STUFF. I like things. I like books, films, wool and other random shit, so I keep them. BUT! Seeing as we've recently moved into another apartment, I was very much forced into the realization that I have WAY too much stuff. For the last month I've been systematically going through all my books, all my films, clothes and other misc crap and selling/giving it away. It's been really nice to be able to literally take an entire huge plastic bin full of books off to Half Priced Books to get them out of my life. It's been a lot of work because I've had to ensure I have all the books in SOME form, so I had to go through all ELEVEN of my bookshelves, write out the names of every single book and then search to download them. The ones I found? I got rid of, the rest I'm having to add to my Amazon wishlist for future reference. I'm getting there, but it's a lot of work.
• Cardigans! This month marked my finally being able to pull out all of my favourite cardigans and I couldn't be happier if I wanted to be! I LOVE cardigan weather so much!!
• School. It's been a long road, but we're nearly done now and I'm happy to say that I'm rocking the hell out of all the hair that's been sitting in my chair. I'm becoming more confident, more capable and more encouraged for the future. I'm so close to being finished now and I just can't wait to get out there and start my career!
• IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! I turn twenty-nine this year and I plan to make this year more fabulous than the last. I want to be better to myself, to Muffin and to the people who maybe don't SEEM to deserve it, but really truly do.

 
Things that are consuming my life right now:

• Emo Music... Songs with gorgeous words about heartbreak and love and emotions. I pretty much constantly listen to music that makes me want to curl up and die. Lots of Magnetic Fields, Mumford and Sons, Belle and Sebastian, Broken Family Band, etc. I'm on the hunt for some new music, but it's a hard search... so I guess I shall keep looking. If you have any ideas, let me know!
• My Kindle... I've been reading a TON recently and it's nice to have like five hundred books all at my fingertips.
• Drawing. I've been really inspired to outlet a lot of stuff through the medium of pen and paint. I actually also got myself some colouring books that I've been working through, which has been inspiring me. It's been nice.
• Trying to pick the PERFECT tattoo! Muffin and I haven't been able to get any tattoos for quite a long while and I've promised myself that once I finish school and get a good grade on my State Boards I will get myself a fabulous new inky baby to commemorate it. I can't WAIT!

 
Things I want to tell December Danie:

• "Please know that all this pain and emotional agony will be worth it. Good things are due to come, you just need to keep your chin up and know that you're doing what's right."
• "STOP BUYING SO MANY SWEATERS! YOU HAVE ENOUGH!"
• "You need to be more gentle with Muffin. He's really doing his best right now and that's good enough. You both have so much on your plates and it's okay to get frustrated sometimes, but it's not okay to be blatantly hateful or disrespectful... especially to one another. You're each other's strongest allies right now and you need to stick together."
• "Hey, guess what! You're almost done with school, what have you done to prepare yourself? Have you vetted salons? Have you registered for your final classes? Have you started writing cry-worthy thank you letters to your teachers? Are you ready? Because you're worth it and you're going to rock the fuck out of the world of hair, I promise!"
• "Patience, Danie. Please practice patience. This will be a difficult month. You can handle it."
• "Only one more month until you can FINALLY get another tattoo!! WOOHOO!!"

 last but not least... here's a quote.

January 2012

my favourite things about January can not be pinned down to just one or two. there were so many things that made my favourites list... having a puppy in the house, excelling at work, Muffin's hair, spending more time with Troy and Liz, talking to Janey, seeing Sarah finally get her surgery and feeling more like an adult by making a car payment. all of these things shaped my month into a fairly magical beginning to the new year.

my favourite things to watch in January were The Switch, Up All Night, Whitney, The Thing, Bob's Burgers, Raising Hope, A Family Stone, Fright Night, Glee and True Blood. LOADS of films and telly have been consumed in the last month in the McBlowme household. we've been doing a lot of writing and doodling and snuggling and what's better than to have a little background filmage whilst doing so?

my favourite books from January were incessantly interrupted by my constant schedule changes at work. despite this, i have definitely had my nose in the new Stephen King book (11.22.63), 642 Things to Draw (which as SUPER made my life better because it's really prompting me to doodle and draw and really challenge myself. i absolutely adore it), Q & A (which is REALLY amazing and has become a five-year commitment that i think EVERYONE should take part it. i totally love having one little thing at the end/middle/beginning of every day that i can go to and ground myself.) and I Like You by Amy Sedaris (it's adorable, fun and COMPLETELY full of adorable ideas to do for dinner parties and other entertaining.) i wish i had more time to read and i may try to really push myself to read more during my off-time.

my favourite photos from January can be seen below...

the things i'm most excited for for February are my things arriving from England (OMGMONDAY!), clearing out my closet (a little pre-spring-cleaning), getting our tax return back, the Valentine's Day surprise Muffin has planned for me, losing some weight, crocheting some more and Superbowl Sunday partytime with Sarah, Troy and Liz.