8: love my life: for my beautiful memories...

my life seems to be one constant beautiful memory… every single thing that happens in my life is just another piece of the puzzle that makes my life as blissfully fabulous as it is.. I guess the best way to do this entry justice would be for me to list the things in my life that have caused me beautiful memories… this’ll be a long one. Brace yourself

• My mum… it is difficult to pick out individual memories… I recall so many magical little things that made everything with her beautiful. I remember as a child I would always say that the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life was my mum sleeping and I still reckon that holds a spot in the top five. I loved her face… her laugh and smile. There are a flurry of memories from my childhood especially that were made distinctive because of my mum… things like trips to crazy horse mountain or summer visits to embassy suites. When she was still able to drive I remember car rides with her being miraculous… we would sing and talk and there was NEVER anything I couldn’t talk to her about. I remember the months prior to my moving to the UK, how I would go visit her in the home at least once a week and we would eat and sit around and watch films or telly… those days with her were the most special because we had so many of them and because she always made me feel so loved. I remember the last time I saw her in person… November 19^th 2004… that was the morning I left for England. She was devastated. I remember how her face looked, how hard she held me and what she smelled like. I remember the last time I spoke to her… It was horrific, but I would have regretted it for the rest of my life had I not rung her that night. She told me how much she loved me, that I meant everything to her…. My mum was the most wonderfully beautiful, giving woman in the world and I wouldn’t trade her or my memories of her for anything.

• Janey… the memories I have with my janeyface are so much more different than any of the memories I will have with anybody else in the world. Our time together is spent in a beautiful little flurry of being lewd, inappropriate, offensive and utterly and completely ourselves. When she and I are together we fall into a world that completely spins for just the two of us… nobody else exists. Chris always hated it when she came to visit and theo still hates it when we are together because we immediately begin to set one another off in the most improper and fabulous of ways. My memories of her date back to the first time we met in person… that fabulous summer’s day that she came up to derby and stepped off the bus to my little smiling face. The next night we began our string of outrageous memories by writhing all over the floor of the local pub to bon jovi’s ‘always’ with claire. Every single janeydaniepartytime since has just been better and better. Racist shopping adventures, lesbian chats, hot-boxing her lounge with our horrendous gas and more shopping adventures than anybody could ever fathom. Janey is such a beautifully wonderful person and I will no doubt know her and continue making offensive memories with her until one of us dies of some horrendous disease or car accident.

• Alastair… over the last five years the bulk of my beautiful memories have come from pow pow…he and I have gone on some of the most amazingly fabulous adventures ever. He is the one person I have watched more films with, had more cups of tea with and talked to more than anybody else. Things as simple as all our swimming dates two years ago will fall high on the list of beautiful memories I have in my life. Most of the moments I spend with him are extraordinary for me because I exist in complete awe of him… he is an astoundingly beautiful, talented and magical person and to spend as much time as I do with him and to be as close to him as I am makes me feel so outrageously special. Every day I get to see him makes me feel like the things I do and say are worth something because he agrees with or admires it. There are just so many memories to pick from… if I had to name one particularly beautiful memory, I would have to hark back to the night the incident happened (September 26^th 2008). The whole night was beautiful despite the obviously horrific event. Pow pow and I had gone swimming, went out for a cup of tea at big blue with alex and jaacqy, moved on to wetherspoons where I bore witness to his sally jessi impression for the first time and then on to the rest of the night… post-incident, jaacqy and I went back to pow pow’s and I laid on the couch talking to mark until he returned home and immediately laid on top of me and held me for ages. He just laid there and hugged me. He held me like he was trying to hold all the pain out of me and to this day, nobody has ever been successful at giving me a better cuddle, ever… I doubt they ever will.

• Concertina Turner… the summer of 2007 was made perfect because of one thing. That thing was concertina turner and the butchers. I honestly couldn’t believe it when claire and mark asked me to be in the band… I  never showed any outward abilities musically… why ME?! Who bloody cares, is what I answer now! That was the best time of my life. Playing music with the five of them was the most fun I have ever had. Those months that we played together were completely fuelled by chris’s homemade mead and the cheers of drunken onlookers. There are so many swirling memories that I can grasp out of the air, but when I have to pick just one, it is always jerry… I LOVE to remember how jerry and I used to watch one another when we played. He was such a beautiful man and I love every single song we ever had the chance to play together.

• Dane... there is not one single memory I don’t cherish about this boy. I drive him insane during every conversation asking him to tell me what things he remembers or what his favourite memories are. Those fabulous months in the summer of 2001 were so, so special... the random late-night car journeys, the trip to the water tower, our first kiss on the corner of Evans Avenue and east 17th Stret, the nine times he and i went to see shrek together at the cinema… all these things made up the summer that shaped my heart and the pace it beats at now. The most special memory I have of him is the last time I saw him in person. It was March 6^th and I can remember every single tiny detail of those last ten minutes we spent together with perfect recollection. I remember how he smelled (of his deodorant and taco john’s), exactly how tall he was, how hard he held me, the fact that he couldn’t get out more than one sentence for the emotion and the way he held my hand when we parted ways… that memory will only be trumped with the first time we meet again, which I can only imagine will be the single most beautiful memory in the history of beautiful memories.

• Mini Mart… hands-down the greatest job I have ever had in my life… working the graveyard shift at that petrol station for those eight months was the best time in my teenage life. Everyone knew me and loved me and I met the most incredible array of people. You never had the same night working in a place like that… I still think back to all the special regular customers I had and all the fun shenanigans that I got up to working there with great fondness… ask me to tell you some of the stories some time, you’ll love them  

• Chris… despite the crap he and I went through towards the end I am still able to recall very well all the beautiful moments he and I shared. I remember how much I used to hate him when we first started talking and how, despite that animosity, I couldn’t WAIT for him to come online next so I could tell him about my day and ask him about England. I remember how nervous I was to ask him for his email address for the first time. I remember the first time I saw him in the airport… a fresh-faced 18-year-old on her first international journey. I was terrified and excited and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I remember exactly how he looked and exactly how long I watched him until he noticed me (42 seconds). I remember how nervous I was in the back room at the registrar’s, waiting to be allowed to walk down the aisle to my waiting fiancé. I remember our first dance as husband and wife. I remember the day we walked out to the pet shop to pick out our guinea pigs and how excited we were to play with them when we got home. There are so, so many things I remember. So many special things that only he and I would find beautiful, but that have offered the perfect amount of wonderful to my life thus far.

•  Ashley... the memories i have with this girl are so SO huge and outrageously beautiful that i could never, ever pin down a small list of memories her and i have created together. when i think of this girl i am immediately submerged into an ocean of beautiful thrifting adventures, late-night car rides, finding god-awful clothes in ross and limitless village inn dates (WITH RANCH DRESSING ON THE SIDE!!). she has been the sparkle that made me who i am and i can never, ever do our memories justice. our epic summer of wonderment was everything hollywood makes them out to be, they are life-changing, forever memorable and worth every single second of it. she has been my rock in so many situations and our memories have fueled me through some horrible times. i simply adore to think about all the other memories we will make.... meeting more frightening people at Arc or watching more mullets at the mall... every memory i have with her i cherish more than most. 

i would never be able to list every beautiful memory i have... memories that bounce around my mind that feature lee lee and george and hannah. i adore my life and the memories i have made. 

here's to a billion more.

fings... i heart them...

just a list... i am sleepy and need to sleep...

• JUST-cleaned glasses... the instant after i've cleaned them and i put them back on my face, the clarity with which i can see, that's my favourite!
• my ash-beast... very, VERY rarely am i at a loss for words... very rarely do i find myself unable to string sentences together in such a way as to express my general excitement, glee and SQUEE for the events in my life... until today. today i pranced down my stairs just before seven in the a.m. after a knock on the door. i had been awaiting the delivery of a special parcel from my favourite beast in america after she had warned me it was on it's way thirteen days ago. i opened the door and saw the handwriting that is ever-so familiar to me and i squee'd then slammed the door. the parcel and i pranced up the stairs and we perched in front of my desk. i opened the parcel to damask wonderful and a little bottle. in the bottle was a rolled-up letter that i unrolled and immediately smelled (it's one of my problems). the letter... heh... the letter caused instant-weep. essentially, my favourite american beast is getting married... she is getting married and we have been all but killing ourselves with the excitement. i was particularly excited to find out that i will be BACK before her wedding and will be allowed to stand up with her. this went a little deeper when i read her letter and found that she wants me... danie... to be her maid of honour. (!!) i honestly cannot believe it. like, literally... it's the last thing i was expecting. i was certain that since i had been away that i would be lucky to be allowed to sit within three rows of the front aisle. there are no words to describe how much this means to me... how amazingly fabulous this makes me feel... how much more freaking excited i am! my newest mission? to find THE dress! 
• the puffin tattoo
• noah and the whale
• OMGJANEYVISIT
• chris tree
• david culleton
• chewing on honeycomb
• sugar cane
• my star jumper
• multi-coloured wool
• hot pink
• ASDA dates
• tidying
• the scent of pink grapefruit

• justin smith esq... this man is ACTUALLY my soul mate! gold tooth? check! handlebar moustache? check! tattoos? check! HUGE nose? CHECK! he is also an accomplished baker, practices taxidermy and a fashion designer. unfortunately for me, he is also a homosexual... a homosexual i will be meeting on the twentieth! SQUEE!
• the smell of insecticide
• long emails
• bubble letters
• feeling needed
• friendly old men
• when people take an interest in my tattoos
• when people refer to me as 'trouble'
• 'slither'
• writing/drawing on oranges
• when the muffin emails me
• ASDA prices
• when people suggest films to me
• the fact that stacey has started counting down now
• 31 days!!!
• numbers and how well i can remember them
• remembering things about my mum
• access databases
• long chats with pow pow
• being watched (not in a creepy way)
• highlighters
• the smell of dry-erase markers
• wasabi
• saline drips
• dusting
• mopping on my hands and knees
• hoovering
• hot pink lipstick
• costume jewelery
• pow pow paintings
• radishes
• apt horoscopes... (today, for example, my horoscope read as follows: 'when you love you love completely. you'd do anything for those close to  you, so to feel let down in this manner is somewhat of a shock. revelations made after 3pm give you back your faith' - of note, at half four, pow pow sent me a text saying he would come round later this week for phototime with the pig's mandible. yay!)
• corned beef
• the boys at the tattoo parlour
• the 'pigface' date of mine and pow pow's
• photos that capture shadows well
• my ability to touch-type
• red squirrels

the end! yay!

7: love my life: for all the advice i didn't follow...

and oh was there a lot! i guess the easiest thing to do would be to list it... the ones i can remember, anyway...

• i shouldn't look different... my ENTIRE life all i had were my sisters and mum telling me not to get tattoos, stretch my ears, get piercings or dye my hair... i used to have a massive collection of newspaper or magazine clippings that my sister seemingly collected EVERY time she saw a new one describing how difficult it was to get a job or make friends whilst looking 'alternative.' i love that i didn't listen to them because i simply adore the creature i am today... dyed, tattoo'd, stretched and never, ever matching. 
• stick with the marriage... even today when i speak to my sisters they harass me and tell me that i should have tried harder on my marriage with chris. even after i have told them that it isn't going to happen they still hound me, telling me that chris was a good person and i should have tried harder to make it work with him.... i know today without a shadow of a doubt that this has been the best decision of my life and i will never, ever live to regret it. 

right, i guess there were only two. i've been sat for the last hour trying to remember more but i can't... i guess i was never that much of a rebel. i did heed a lot of the advice that my family and friends offered me.

so there we are.

88. get my 'chris tattoo.'

done and done!

Divorce: Day 133

has it ACTUALLY been THAT long? nineteen weeks? nearly five months?!

parts of me feel like it's been longer and other tiny parts feel like it was just last night that we were sat on the sofa watching peepshow and cutting the cord on the trainwreck that had become our relationship.

so many massive things have happened over the last five months that make me FEEL like it's been longer.

i was looking through photos on facebook today and found myself caught short with emotion at the sight of one in particular. this image, the one in question, it is one of the estranged and i... it is from a sporadic night out with goncalves and we both looked beautiful and it is one of the last times i can remember being really happy with him.

the photo you can now see if you direct your eyes slightly to the right, upon first glance, immediately made my tummy flip over in an ugly and unwelcome way. it hit me very, VERY suddenly that, whilst i had forgotten it over the last year, i used to love this person so, SO much. i can recall with perfect clarity what i was thinking when this photo was taken, and that was 'oh my LORD this boy is the love of my life, he KNEW what treat to abscond from work to make his little wifey happy!' (the treat was a roast pork sandwich with applesauce, made with homemade bread OMGNOM). the night featured excellent chats, mojitos and cuddles aplenty.

it is only today after seeing that photo that i am now able to remember brief times where i loved him huge. it was from this photo that i had a little bit of a journey within my head, looking through old photos and remembering as many tiny moments as i could. most of the moments were taken from secret, special dates he and i had in bed, alone, before rising from our slumber. i remember those were the best times for us because it was when we were both still too sleepy to realize that we were not made for one another. those moments, under the duvet, before the rest of our worlds had started stirring were the most magical because they were moments made just for us... moments when we didn't have to argue about who didn't have a job or which one of us spent more on he shopping that week.

i am now very slowly beginning to remember that all our times were not horrific. we had many magical journeys and i feel thankful for the time he and i have had together. thankful enough to have had a piece of him/us etched into my skin.

i was not due to go in to see kevin until later this week but he woke me this morning saying his appointment had canceled and would i like to come in today. what kind of a fool would have said 'no?!' so i pranced into town, procured three bottles of orange juice, drew out my money and made my way to the shop.

it would be a lie to say that i wasn't nervous about going into the shop today. i hadn't been in since gem and mel were around.... since things were normal. i hadn't been back in the shop for near on a year.

i walked in and everything felt like it always had. the boys were wonderful and it wasn't more than seven minutes before kevin started making comments about my 'growler.' the next four hours were spent  with my skirt lifted completely up and getting stabbed. we talked, caught up and poked a little fun at the estranged (as the boys were NEVER his biggest fan). thomas told me he had missed me and scratched my head and it was just generally a glorious day.

so, at 1600 this afternoon i emerged from the tattoo parlour with a new ink baby on my leg. he has not been named yet, but he is beautiful. i got a puffin because they are one thing that always made me think of chris most. the reason of this stems back to one of the above-mentioned morningtime dates. typically, when we had just woken, i used to turn the telly on so it could create a fun soundtrack to whatever it was we were doing or talking about. one morning, there was a documentary on about puffins.  a scene came on where they showed the mummy and daddy puffins bringing foods to their babies. the babies, referred to as 'pufflings' were squawking and generally being loose cannons and chris immediately turned to me and said that it appeared they had captured ME in this documentary. from that moment on the name he called me most often was 'puffling.'

the lightbulb was totally because kevin, thomas and i thought the puffin looked sassy and like he had just had a thought, so we whacked it on there.

rewind twenty-four hours and you will find me waiting on a phone call from pow pow with a bucket in my kitchen. a bucket filled with water, salt, soda crystals, washing-up liquid and a pig's face.

yes, you read that right, a pig's face. thursday evening saw me open the door to kate and mike... mike had a carrier bag in his hands and i immediately began to squeal. the following two hours featured us watching mike skin the pig's head, playing with the pig's eyeballs and investigating the inner-workings of the pig's head.

so yes, last night i was waiting, mobile in hand, for a call to say we would soon be beginning what i presumed would be the best date in the history of AP/DVB dates. he arrived at a little after eight and we ate din dins (homemade chicken stir-fry and fried rice). we talked a little and we pranced up to my room so he could finally see where all my fabulous creations are made.

on a side note: i ADORE my bedroom at the moment. it is a delicious combination of fabulous clutter and inspiration for me. i feel like at the moment my brain is going at full-speed with ideas for things to make and my bedroom is doing nothing but inspiring that. it is the perfect place for me to sit down and think, create and plan things. i love my little nest. 

anyways, pow pow investigated my room, enjoyed my clutter, watched the muffin's new video (which can be viewed at the end of this post) and helped me carry a giant piece of wood down the stairs for nailing the pig's face to. the next three hours we drank MANY cups or tea, cured the pig's head, took over 100 photos and had some really fabulous chats.

honestly, there is nobody else in the world that i love doings things with more than him. he is just so silly and wonderful and we are so often on the same wavelength with most everything (which he confirmed last night by saying that he felt like we had gotten closer over the last couple of weeks. it makes me happy to think that i'm not just imagining it). we made some more plans for johnny, took some obligatory AP/DVB photos and he made his way home for OMGSLEEPYTIMES.

so, i now have a pig's face nailed to a piece of wood in my kitchen, drying out very nicely. it feels nice to have ANOTHER piece of johnny finished. i know it's only the start, but it's something and it makes me happy to see pow pow so happy.

so, post-133 days, i am happy as a little clam. i have amazing friends, health and a pig's face. what more could a girl ask for?


now, please see my muffin's new video and fall in love with his face and lyrical styling. this is just ANOTHER reminder of why i adore him.

oh tuesday, how i adore thee!

This week is just full of so many things that I love that I MIGHT just pop.
It has taken everything in me to avoid posting a list of things I love prior to today. I wanted to do a really good, juicy list today… and oh it will be a doozie.

I know I missed a week and I am ever-so sorry, I was embroiled in a little playdate with Lee Lee and I couldn’t tear myself away from him long enough to even be willing to type up a little list. 

I shall stop stalling and just get on with it… please, enjoy my list of things I heart this week!

• Really bad horror films… there is little I love more than to watch a really awful, but prolifically entertaining horror film. Friday I had the joy of watching ‘Rat Man,’ which theo had procured for me for christmas. It had been on my ‘to watch’ list for near on five weeks and I was delighted when pow pow finally agreed to let me bring it to our most recent movie date. I absolutely ADORED it. I seem to find myself drawn more and more to horror films that haven’t had so much press time purely because it helps me to gain a full spectrum and also, it allows me to have something to show and talk to pow pow about with regard to Johnny. I really love seeing how other people use makeup, music, angles and suspense in films. I am a particular fan of the really, outrageously cheesy ones… the ones, like ‘Rat Man,’ which really ooze with bad acting, amazing makeup and a ridiculous amount of boob-shots. They please me. Other bad horror films that I have watched lately are 'The Abominable Dr Phibes' (FUCKING stupendous film!), 'Sleepaway Camp' (which is an old favourite from my youth, too excellent for words) and 'Student Bodies' (which i have the BIGGEST crush on ever! what an amazing film!).
• 98%... Oh. My. God. This is most likely the most thrilling thing ever, in the world! The muffin advised me last week that, after MUCH harassment of the home office, his passport IS completed and they will be sending it to him this week! The instant he found out he told me that the percentage shot up from 92.5% to 98%. I actually died. Honestly, I died. I avoided getting TOO excited in the beginning because I wanted to wait until the percentage was above 85 but now, NOW it is nearing 100 and I MAY just have a little heart attack! We are a mere 38 days until the muffin arrives (give or take a day), and I honestly could not be more excited even if I wanted to.

• Alastair Powers… this boy gets a big one this week. We had one of the best playdates in the history of P/DVB playdates on Friday. This playdate was wonderful for about eight reasons… all of which I will not list here. Essentially, it was just perfect… everything I could have possibly hoped it would be. We sat around a lot, had din dins (bratwurst and curly fries), his dad came over for a while (his dad has the SINGLE most amazing beard in the history of beards and can talk the hind legs off of a goat (whatever THAT means!) I love him), we talked SO MUCH (which is my favourite thing to do with pow pow… he almost always has amazingly insightful things to say), planned more Johnny stuff and recorded videos (one of us watching an egg timer and talking and the other of him singing my favourite song of his). Like, today, whilst i was speaking to him I became full of weep. I can’t stand the thought of his voice costing me more than 3p a minute to speak to. When I watch his videos, I tend to have to stop them because his face just kills me. It kills me to know that that face will be more than a twenty-minute walk from my house. I am going to miss him so hard when I go. I honestly cannot even fathom how I am going to leave him behind. I try so hard when I am with him to memorize every single tiny detail I can so I can take as many moments with me as possible when I move. Why do I have to love him so much? Why does he have to be so wonderful and cheeky and fabulous? Sometimes I WISH I could hate him.
• Johnny… this is shaping up to be SO much fun! Like, every time I meet up with pow pow we decide on something new to do or some way to make the things we are doing even more fabulous. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am that alastair has actually allowed me to become such a big part of this with him. I was trying to recall the other day when exactly it was decided that I would do all I have been doing and I honestly can’t remember. All I know is that I am now and am so, so happy for this because it has allowed me to really push myself creatively AND has given me more of an opportunity to hang out with my favourite boy ever. Every single day with every single thing that I complete or plan I get more and more excited thinking about the finished product. Last week I nearly completed the entire costume for tiny Dean to wear and this week, oh THIS WEEK! I am working on bears and bears and even more bears. The only respite I will have from OMGBEARFUNTIME will be Thursday when Kate (of the fabulous tattoos and face) and Mike (of the butchery trade and metal-head hair) will prance to mine with a skinned pig’s head and skull… it’s purpose? To be made into a lampshade. This lampshade will begin being created on Friday after I have pranced to pow pow’s to pick him up and drag him back to mine so’s he can photograph me sewing up the eyes and the back of the head. I will be stretching the skin around a lampshade ‘skeleton’ and letting it dry into a disturbing and ungodly sight. It will be fabulous! On top of THAT I will be finishing up the unfinished taxidermy project that has been in my fridge for nearing 7 months… Liam the guinea pig will very soon be turned into a tiny ‘guinea pig skin rug’ à la a bearskin rug, which will be used in a doll’s house in Johnny. It will be super fabulous and blow minds (and PERHAPS cause slight revulsion?).
• OMGTATTOOTIME… at the end of next week I will be the proud recipient of four or five new tattoo babies, which pleases me more than anything. This will shoot my magic number to above thirty and will add some incredible pieces of art to my collection. I shall be getting my ‘chris tattoo’ (a puffin, done by the only person I would trust to do it, Kevin), my ‘jewflake’ (a snowflake with the star of david in the middle, created with everyone’s favourite jew in mind, lee lee), my ‘scissorflake’ (a snowflake made up entirely of scissors, to be placed on my skin to remember my time working on Johnny AND for pow pow) and a tattoo that lovingly says ‘I hate Dane’ in a fancy font. I am SO excited for tattoo time. It’s one of my favourite times, ever. yay!
• OMGJANEYVISIT… yes kids, it’s that time again… time for the world to stop whilst danie has a three-day-long playdate with her favourite girl in the world. Janey and Theo will be arriving next Friday evening and we will exist in a flurry of drunken excitement whilst she tattoos me (well, perhaps not drunk WHILST she tattoos me, but drunk in between sessions), whilst we go out for full English breakfasts and whilst we eat OMGSOMUCH chinese food! her visit will also be host to the prolific event of my two favourites in the world actually meeting for the first time. her and pow pow will be attending a massive chinese buffet meal together with myself and theo (and PERHAPS the estranged, if he stops being so aloof) and it will be delightful. GOD i love janey visits!
• taxi drivers who don't play by the rules
• racist comedy
• playdates with lee lee
• the 'lies' i tell pow pow
• my cupcake painting from pow pow
• love songs
• horn sections
• sharks
• my 'most haunted' date with lee lee
• watching a film and remembering things you've said or done with someone whilst watching it... an excellent example of this was when, whilst watching '(500) days of summer'  the scene came up at the wedding where the band played 'at last.' the moment that i thought of immediately was when, at the cinema with pow pow, he grabbed my arm and gave it a good squeeze. for as crappy as his memory is, i simply adore that he recalled i walked down the aisle to that song and that it might upset me. 
• playing duck, duck goose
• completing a project
• making lists
• grape-flavoured jelly sweets
• free tattoos
• super-soft robes
• primark
• kimya dawson
• strong jaw lines
• 'further from the truth' by alastair pow3rs
• racial slurs
• the 'egg timer video'... ask me to show it to you someday, i might.
• curtis baker's photography
• dogs with three legs
• interesting fonts
• being back at work (AGAIN)
• when people say my name
• when people call me 'dan'
• painting my nails fancy-like
• updating my diary
• this photo of me and lee... i've officially decided, this is actually THE single most beautiful photo in the history of photos... ever.

6: love my life: for all the friends i will get...

as much as i am rebelling against finding new friends, i cannot help but think that i will very regularly meet creatures that i adore and will need to spend the rest of my life entwined in a love affair with.

i can only expect that once i have moved back to america that i will meet creatures via the muffin and ashley and everyone.

i am SUPER excited to meet all the georgia creatures i've been speaking to. stephanie, alex and curtis! i'm excited to meet all the muffin's tattoo beasts in washington and tim and oh so many people. every day he mentions more people he cannae wait for me to meet and i honestly can't either. i love to imagine that i will become friends with tiny molly and ryu... that we will prance often and create amazing things together.

then, THEN!! there are my favourite beast's beasts! i simply cannot WAIT to prance back to america and meet all the people that have been keeping my favourite american beast company for the last five years. prarie is one that i am particularly excited about, but anyone there who calls me 'the cupcake lady' (a name i seem to have made for myself world-wide now) will immediately be my bff.

obviously, there are other creatures i will meet in my life. no doubt every one of them will blow my mind... no doubt i will fall in love with every single one of them... i worry that i will meet the bulk of them before i leave england, which will make it even HARDER to leave. i HATE to imagine who i will meet when pow pow and i have seriously started working on johnny.... i have met so many astounding people through my pow pow already that it terrifies me to think what other cats he has in his bag.

hopefully they are pretty.