4: How did you rebel as a child?

i went through three phases as a child when rebelling became the name of the game. first it was when i was extremely young... i must have been around nine. i HATED brushing my hairs and just refused to ever do it. no matter how much people hassled me, i would always say 'no way jose! Rod Stewart doesn't brush HIS!'

and thus was my argument for at least three years until i saw the film mi vida loca. a film that completely convinced me that i was indeed a mexican and i was to look like one in all ways possible.

during this rebellion, i invested in a giant amount og wet'n'wild makeup in as many browns, whites and tans and possible and wore out at least two curling irons trying to get my hairs exactly like sad girl's.

unfortunately, said coif never materialised and i learned the joy of another mexican lolita i could emulate by the name of Selina. once i saw her live performance of 'dreaming of you' i was a convert to the life of a beautiful mexican princess who could sing and was obsessed with making sure everyone knew that the lady that killed her was guilty and needed to die. my hatred for this woman was such that i still cannae look at the woman that played her in the film without clenching my fists.

alongside the mexican phase, i also participated in the wave of JNCO which made everyone in my family actually want to die. i was a huge fan of making sure i had the widest legs possible for maximum irritation factor.

3: did you have a special place you went to be alone as a child?

it really depends on the age that you are talking when referring to this question. i never really liked being ALONE as such when i was a child. i loved having people around me and delighting in how precious i was.

as a very small child, my mum's at-the-time boyfriend liked to get abusive. i was obviously not a huge fan of this so i would go and lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the bath.

once her and super-jerk broke up, i frequented the laundry room. it was a state in there and i liked to just go and lie on the pile of clothes and sleep or think or pray.

during all of these courses of time, my mum had been working a night job delivering papers, so i was never really phased by her working or babysitters. however, when she finally left the paper route, i was thrust out of my laundry room dreams into something almost more splendid. my mum got a job at a laundrette. when she started that, i was made to go to work with her every day and i became the baroness of the laundry tables. i had an obsession as a child with living in caves or just generally living in a hiding place. i would often re-ennact this at the laundrette under the oh-so-special silver tables that were the perfect size and height for me to fit all of my toys and snacks that i would need for a day of fending for myself.

other misc hiding places i could be seen at as a child can be seen below:

• a mass of pine trees on Hot Springs Ave that had a big gap in them much like a spikey cave.
• a wee alleyway between some rooms at the motel beside burger inn on lincolnway.
• the [Private] laundry room of some apartments on Hot Springs Ave (only if unlocked).

i heart things and things tuesday

so then, i have made a decision. there are so many negative things surrounding so many people's lives sometimes that i want to make sure i do not get embroiled in them. i want to start making lists of things i like. i want to do this on a tuesday as that is the only real 'non-day' of the week. it is a day where people get depressed and just don't do anything because nothing exciting is happening... let me explain my logic:

Monday-first day of the week, back to work/school/etc.
Wednesday- 'hump day!' middle of the week! only two days left until the weekend!
Thursday- one day until the weekend! hooray!
Friday- always the best as it is the last day of the working week and first day of the weekend!

now where does tuesday fit in? nowhere. it is boring and nothing happens. there is no real reason to get excited about a tuesday, until now! i will make my tuesdays the 'i heart things and things tuesday' and spend the day making it all about all the things i heart.

i created 'i heart things and things' a while ago as a small book as a token and souvenir for some people i loved and wanted to remember the times we shared together. i forced and badgered all of them to write me lists of things they liked for me to compile and use to create the best memory book ever! in the process i decided everyone i saw should make me lists. it was after i got several dozen lists that i decided i should do a local magazine that would be based around the lists whilst featuring stories, reviews and anything else i wanted to share. like any brainchild, this one grew to magnificent sizes daily with discussion of a book, a band night and a record company. but right now, from where you are sitting, you are delving into the beginning of my personal empire, this is just a small part of something huge and beautiful.

• chevy chase
• my new hairs
• glasses
• working
• being relied on
• investigating conondrums
• walking
• america
• small, special things that i see/smell/hear that remind me of my mum.
• tattoos
• doing new things
• guinea pigs
• crochetting
• general crafting
• stationary
• tea cakes

it is only a wee list for now, as work has finally commenced. there will be more and more every tuesday, i can assure you.

my hairs are better than yours... the end

so then, after six flipping hours last night, my hairs finally have come out being fabulous and incredibly strange.

i am so totally not used to having hair longer than like, three inches, so to have hair that i can tie up and twirl and chew on and generally beast, OMG teh fun!!
holly came over yesterday afternoon and we conversed about how we desperately wished we could be black and indulged in the comedy glory that is BAPS. that is the original film that made me want be allowed to be the ultimate in sassy with large hairs and one to four gold teeth in the front of my mouth to ensure status was kept in line.
feeling a little bit emo today. only a tiny bit and it doesn't really need to be something i flip out about but i just wish that sometimes husband was a little bit lovlier. sometimes i feel a little off and i just need a bit of reassurance. sometimes i just need a cuddle and for someone to love me unconditionally. unfortunately, a lot of those times, i cannae go to husband for that. he gets moody and says it is not his job to do that... it is MY job to make sure i am happy and feel good about myself.
like with my hairs for instance, i am feeling a little bit unsure about them. it is quite obvious that i would, as they are new and quite different to anything i have had before. i keep asking husband if he thinks i am pretty and he still loves me and he just gets angry and says he doesn't like the hairs and whatever. you know how sometimes someone just needs another person to tell them they love them and they are beautiful all the time? that is what i need and he just WON'T do it. he refuses. it hurts so much because i have this feeling like this person i have chosen to spend the rest of my life with SHOULD be there for me to lift me up and love me no matter what decision i make... i say this to him and he says, 'well, would you do the same for me?' and i honestly WOULD! there is nothing in the entire world that he could do or say or think or anything that would make me hate him or not support him. sometimes i might have trouble, but if i knew he was feeling insecure about it i would never ever take it upon myself to make him feel even more so. i would try to make him as comfortable and happy as possible.
*sigh*

pining at 87 wpm

Do you hate the last girl you talked to?
ohhh... the last girl i talked to in real life was the lady who owns the shop around the corner and i find it impossible to hate an old pakistani woman with a disabled child.

When is the last time you took a nap?
thursday whilst chris was playing with lester. i laid and napped whilst spirited away occurred.


Do you only drink bottled water?
nah. only idiot faggots do that.

What are you listening to right now?
ohhh... i SHOULD be listening to music, hang on. i will put something on and tell you. 'harmonica in f' by ben's brother.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
husband, just about ten minutes ago to ask when the cooking dem was on so i knew when i had to depart into town for eating and learning to cook.


What's on your mind most today?
getting my hairs done tomorrow. i am SO unbelievably excited!


Something that happened today that made you angry?
ohhh... nothing so far. i am quite a delighted little creature.


Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
i talk about them constantly. i never, ever, EVER hide my feelings.


Do you wear makeup?
i have my moments. i might pop a little bit on today.

Are you missing someone?
i am pining for jane and theo at the moment.


Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
everyone deserves a second chance... a third, seventh and tenth? no fucking way.


Would you date/hook up with your brothers best friend?
i has nay brother. and wouldn't anyway, as i heart husband.

What color is your hair?
blond and pink... but only for another twenty-six hours.


Where was the last place you hugged?
bed.

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
husband. i mumbled some phrases at him this morning.


What do you want most right now?
a cola.


Are you happy right now?
quite delighted, yes. i want to make sure husband is happier, which will make me even happier.


Is your phone right beside you?
it is indeed.

Are you cold?
the bits of skin who are rebelling from my tee shirt are a bit chilly.


What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
hair!, 4th of july bbq'ing, abseiling, jen and karl coming to visit, starting my new job, trying for baby, gem and mel's wedding, gem's hen night. seeing the sea for REAL! i am just generally looking forward to living.


First thing you do when you wake up?
flick on the computer.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
two minutes max.

What does your friend call you?
which friend? people mostly call me danie but i am trying to bring 'dan' into the equation. i'll let you know how THAT turns out.


Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing?
thunderstorm like woah! i miss them so much.


Who do you call the most?
husband.


What is your pet's name?
ready? chevy chase (rabbit), Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Half-Cast (goldfish), eileen (catfish), the manson family (shrimps), jeffrey (shark), camilla (loach), unnammed (about thirty other fish), tom jones, roseanne, scat, nipsy, liam (guinea pigs) and the unnamed albino giant african land snail. good LORD that is a lot of pets!


What were you doing 4 hours ago?
hasing an sleep.

Are you that good at math?
reasonably.


What do you get complimented on the most?
what a weird life i lead... i take that as a compliment as the things people find 'weird' about me are like, we shop cheaply, have a lot of pets, were in a band, etc.


Do/did you listen to your parents?
i did mostly.


Have you ever gone to a concert?
HAVE I?! of course i have! several! hooray for gogol!


Are you good at keeping secrets?
secrets don't make friends. i will not say anything until the person who it is being kept from asks me directly. then i dish like a steak din din.


What did you do today?
so far? had teh amazing cuddle with husband, had a lie in, texted theo, turned on computer, stroked chevy, scowled at the rain outside my window, heated up the kebab from last night, commenced eating said kebab, checked emails, read dailyom, had a wee, filled up my water bottle, rang husband, started this.

What kind of tattoos do you want/have?
omg. i have a lot of splendid tattoos... a lifelike t-rex, a t-rex nephew drew when he was seven, two guinea pigs, some dotwork, some arabic writing, a jar of human bits, a rubber duckie, a long quote, the hula, a bunny creature jane did, a star boy, a tree with an owl and some stars. i heart tattoos.

Do you love someone more than words can say?
i do indeed. a lot of someone's.

How many showers have you taken today?
not uno.

Do you drink soda?
i do love cola more than anything but i am trying to cut down.


Have you talked mean about anyone today?
nay.


Can you remember your last dream?
nah.

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
i am married to him!

Suppose you see your boy/girl friend kissing another person, what would you do?
flip the fuck out.


What is bothering you right now?
my foot is asleep and it is playing the most painful waking up game ever.


Can you type over 60 words per minute?
oh yes... 87 wpm biotches!


Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
tokyo. i would actually die to go to tokyo.

Who else is in the room with you?
the goldfish.


Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
yeah. cock-face.


Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
yeah. i don't see why not.

2: Where did you go to school?

i was a lucky girl growing up because all my schools were so near that i could just walk to them if the whim took me.

Kindergarten was spent at Fairview (which, apparantly, has since become a ghetto school at which lots of mexican children attack several other children for the LOLZ)

from there i went to Fairview's 'sister school' called Lebhart for 1st through to 3rd.

THEN back to Fairview up to 6th.

my junior high years were spent at Carey Junior High.

at around the age of 16 or in the 9th grade i was sent to attention homes where i attended the on-site school for a year.

once i was finally allowed to leave there, i attended East High School, where i totally had the most rockin' senior year in the entire world ever. hooray for fabulous teachers and even more fabulous friends!

one for sorrow, two for joy

i saw one today, so i guess that is bad? it is hard for me to believe that, as i have been having an incredibly fabulous day.

work has been brilliant, as it is my boss's birthday and so the office has featured a number of cakes and smiles. glee ensued and everyone is generally in a good mood, which makes for a nice change in the office as people are usually very stroppy and just generally arsey with life most days.

all cakes aside, i have also been informed of a charity event that will be taking place here at the hospital at which people will participate in abseiling 85 feet from the side of the building. i have decided that i want to be included in this event and so we are going to get a team together in the office of four of us who are going to do it in fancy dress. it will take place on 27th July and be amazing and help wee children that have cancer!

ALSO! my 'hair' arrived today. i have yet to see it but i am all but dying to get home and see it and pretend it has already become a part of my hair. i am concerned that i am going to fall TOO in love with it and am going to want to crochet with it. i will have to just restrain myself though, as i have plenty of other crafts to do, so i don't HAVE to be greedy and crochet with my beautiful wool as well!

vic is coming over tonight so she can teach me how to use my sewing machine and cut out my fabric. we shall also have a big fat pasta bake and cake. it will be a fabulous event. hooray!

pardon me if i am too candid

conversation between me and sarjit (next-door-desk-neighbour):


Sarjit: so if you went into big brother would you be allowed to tell anyone?
Me: well, i'm not really supposed to. i most likely wouldn't.
Sarjit: i don't think you're going in, you would be a lot more excited.
Me: i wouldn't tell you or anyone either way...

-Pause-

Sarjit: are you allowed to tell your mum?
Me: my mum's dead.


-End-



yeah, perhaps my candidness doesn't ALWAYS go down very well. i HATE it when people apologise about my mum being dead. she died ages ago and it was nobody's fault. just don't say anything, as saying you are sorry denotes that you have something to be sorry for, when my mum, who lived several thousands of miles away could have never been influenced by anyone here. there is no need for anyone to apologise for anything that has happened to my mum. it is not your, or anybody's fault.

i hate that i have to hear people say they are sorry anytime i mention it. i know that sometimes i can be incredibly candid about my mum's death and seem quite abrupt about it as well, but it really doesn't hurt anymore and i wish people would understand that!!

oh the hair that you weave

oh the last week has been exciting and full of lots of things to keep a girl preoccupied. not that i have anything i need to preoccupy myself to avoid... i actually realised this morning that i am preoccupying myself far TOO much. there have been some reasonably important things going and coming up in my life that i have just been too distracted to notice.

take, for instance the fact that the fabulous gem, of the darlings... she and her 'sig-oh' are getting married soon and i am to be a bridesmade AND official hula wrangler(HOO*LAH-WRA*NG*LER: individual denoted with the responsability of taking care of the precious french bulldog that is hula... aka tulamond, pig, toot, piggarie.) now, the fact that they are getting married is not the only important factor here... there are also factors of if husband will get the time off work, how we will get down to brighton, how much money we must save for the wedding and the oh-so-important, WHAT WILL I WEAR?!

i came to realise, after having a long, hard think, that because this is going to be the wedding/event/partay of the year, it is important to look absolutely perfect, whilst NOT out-shining the bride (who will be looking fabulous, by the way!). now, because this will be a 50's themed wedding, i searched and searched for a dress that would offer me the just perfect amount of cute and sassy whilst NOT overstepping the 'fabulous' line. when i realised it would be wholely impossible to rely on the fashion availability of etsy, ebay and vintagejunkie.com, i decided i would have to take matters into my own hands and make my own dress...

and so it begins... i printed out and taped together all the bits and pieces of the pattern last night and have been left with this:





i am excited that i will hopefully be making a dress all by myself that i will be able to love and beam about when people ask me where i got it. i plan to cut the fabric out tonight so i am ready for sewing maching party time with vic tomorrow. hooray!

now, one would think that the above would be enough to deal with when it came to preparedness for a wedding but oh no! i have also been given the job of planning and maintaining the hen night. OMGWTF!? i had almost forgotten about it until my arch rival in the post-wedding party arrangement contacted me via email to advise me that her STAG-DO would be better than MY fabulous hen night... AS IF!! since then, i have been planning like a big giant planning bee for the best night gem and all the other hens that will be attending could ever ask for. everyone will die.

alongside all of that, i have also been planning to get some special extensions placed methodically into my hairs. they will be like this....



but insanely sexier and thinner, as i have picked not only the best colour and wool, but also the best person ever in the world to do it. my wool is being dyed as i type and i should hopefully have longer 'hair' by the end of next week! hooray!

oh the things the dentist does to me

for the first time in the entire life, i am all apprehensive about going to the dentist today. i have no idea why, but i totally just feel like perhaps just MIGHT be the day i am going to die. i am getting four fillings and one crown...

after today i will be the proud owner of a gold-coloured tooth, which makes me pleased. what DOESN'T make me happy is the fact that said gold tooth will be in the back of my mouth, so i will have to make a big fat fool of myself to show it off, which i do not mind.

chevy is still fabulous and i love him more than anything ever. he has recently learned the wrath of the squirt bottle and when he bites or tries to dig the carpet up he gets a spray that makes him leap and hide. i always feel guilty when i do it, but i am happy that he is finally learning right from wrong.

gah! i cannae put a bath off any longer. i HAVE to take one! and brush my teeth at least another thirty times... have a splendid day. i suspect i will type again soon-ish.

1: Where Did You Grow Up?

i grew up in cheyenne, wyoming in a house on east 10th street... it was the most splendid house ever and i could never have imagined anyplace better for me to have grown up. i lived with my mum and swapped bedrooms everytime i had the whim to do so.

the house undertook a vast amount of changes in the time i lived there... like what? you might ask... well, firstly, there wasn't always a ramp leading to the front door. my mum fell quite ill when i was about nine and she had a great deal of work done on the house by the state and the ramp was to help her with her wheelchair. unfortunately, the ramp was created too steep and my mum was never able to use it on her own. someone always had to push her... and despite the fact that the ramp was a fabulous idea, there was still a big fat step for my mum to have to go up to actually get INTO the house.

i loved that house and i still do. not very often does a night pass that i do not dream about that house.

sometimes things are just perfect

so then, this last weekend bore the fruit of several splendid things... things that i will list right now:

1. i dyed my hair a new and more splendid colour and thanks to the colour change, it prompted me to mingle in the world of different styles and wee pomps...




2. i became the happy mother of a new rabbit, who we have named Chevy Wolfgang Chase...


he happens to be the most beautiful, splendid man in the entire world and i love him mucho big time.




3. i was on telly... for those of you do not know, i applied for big brother back in december. well, the auditions were showed this weekend and they happened to show mine! it was incredibly exciting and brought back all the lovely butterflies that i felt when i went and auditioned. it was really odd seeing myself on telly, especially because i have lost a great deal of weight since then. i enjoyed it.


i have to go home now, but i will totally post more tonight, once i have watched big brother.